Growing Old
by 0neSeriousFan
Summary: Life with a five year old and a baby daddy isn't easy for Calliope Torres and her wife. But they plan on being together forever. This is my take on their road to forever post season 8 kind of following a typical Grey's SL; M for later chapters
1. Silent Night

**This is my first attempt at fanfic. I know I bit off a lot for my first go at it but I'm ambitious and truly enjoy writing these characters. Please review because I really want to do this story justice. This will hopefully be the first of many more chapters.**

**I don't own anything, Grey's Anatomy and it's characters are the result of the lovely Shonda Rhimes  
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**(notice: I'm a first year undergrad so don't take the med stuff too seriously. Some of it's real, most is made up, almost none of it makes real sense but I think it reads well)  
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**Enjoy  
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It had been a long day. Both surgeons had complicated case after complicated case and really just needed to crash. Most nights for them were full of passionate sex, and their marriage was stronger for it. Who doesn't love sexy time? Now that Sofia was almost 5, talking, and wanting to be more independent their evenings were less hectic, and their nights were quiet and private. But, with or without a sleepy baby, today was a hard day and tonight was a night for sleep.

Once Sofia took her bath, brushed her teeth, and listened to a few good bed time stories, Callie pulled the covers over her. She leaned down close to her little girl and kissed her forehead with a whisper of, "dulces suenos mi nina." Fighting off sleep Sofia looked up at her Mami with heavy eyelids and a little smile and asked, "Mami, can you tell mama I said good night?" Callie smiles down at her with a heart bursting with love and amazement at how much her little girl loved her mama. No DNA test could tell them Arizona wasn't her mother, Sofia loved Ari as much if not more than her other parents. Callie assured the little one that her mama would receive the good night wishes. She sat up to cut off Sofia's lamp and crept out the door as the nightlight came on.

Callie floated back to her room on a high that only came from loving her baby girl. When she finally reached the door she peeked in and found her wife already snuggled under the covers reading a medical journal. Hearing the door open Arizona looked up and locked eyes with her beautiful wife. "Hey. How's the munchkin" she asked, lowering the journal. Callie giggled slightly as she pictured Sofia's face as she tried desperately to stay awake. "She says to tell you 'good night mama'." Arizona smiles at the thought of how much she loves Sofia, and how much Sofia loves her. Their relationship is special in so many ways and it makes Arizona feel amazing. Sometimes she struggles with not being Sofia's biological parent but moments like these reassure her that genetics aren't what counts. As long as her baby girl loves her mama Arizona will always be her's and vice versa. Grabbing at her heart Arizona sighs and whispers "good night Sof", knowing her good night wishes will reach Sofia somehow. She regrets not putting her down for bed now.

Callie walks over to the bed and crawls under the covers scooching over to her wife almost spooning her. Her fingertips twirl golden locks as she reads the medical article over Arizona's shoulder. Her heart fills with warmth as she basks in the moment of lying with her one true love. She feels so blessed to have a wonderful and supportive wife and soon she can't contain her joy. She suddenly says, almost in a whisper, "I love you Arizona, so so much." Arizona turns around to see her wife's dark brown eyes looking back at her with nothing but passion and replies, "I love you too Calliope, you and Sofia are my whole world." Arizona feeling the need to embrace her wife tilts her head up and presses their lips together. They share a lingering tender kiss that speaks volumes about how in love they still are with each other.

Arizona pulls back and smiles at her Latina love thinking _how can I be this lucky? I never wanted kids, and at one point I thought I never wanted commitment._ She had become more than content with having little flings with different women around the hospital. But something about Callie changed her. Calliope was different than other women and she made Arizona want to be different, be better! Just the thought of how special Callie is moves Arizona to turn to completely face Callie and go in for another kiss. This time, like every other night, the warmth in her heart turns into a fire. Suddenly her body is filled with a burning lust for her wife. She wraps her arms around Callie's hips and pulls her close so their pelvises are flush together. A warm lustful breath seeps out from between the brunette's full lips as she reacts to the contact between her and Arizona. She knows her wife and she are both struggling to tame their desire to fuck each other senseless.

"If I wasn't completely worn out we'd be doing very inappropriate things right now Mrs. Torres" Callie teases as she raises an eyebrow at Arizona.

"I'm sorry for being so forward. You're hard to resist Mrs. Robbins" Arizona responds with a devilish smile. She squirms around rubbing her front against Callie's knowing she's really not helping either of them succumb to their exhaustion.

"Look, Mark has Sophia tomorrow so when we get of shift you don't have worry about resisting _all of this_" Callie says half jokingly but with a shell of allure as well. "Oh, is that right" Arizona asks with a flirty smirk and a tone to match. "Mhmmm" Callie replies as she gives her wife one more kiss before rolling over and turning out her bedside lamp. Arizona follows suit turning off her lamp and turning back soon enough to wiggle into her wife's arms and find a comfortable spot to fall asleep.

Neither woman slept very well before they had each other. But ever since the first night they spent together there has been such an unbelievable and mutual feeling of safety that they no longer worry while they rest. With each other they fall into deep sleep as they lay wrapped up in each other's embrace. The only thing that can always get them up is Sophia. When she was a newborn the slightest cough or coo could rouse the new parents. Even still, with their girl being much older, they wake to the tiniest noises emanating from their daughter's room down the hall.

Just a few minutes past 2:00am there was an unsettling high pitch shrill that pierced through the darkness and silence. At first Arizona was only startled. She lifted her head waiting for more noise but quickly slipped back into comatose not knowing where the sound came from or if it was even real. Then it came again, louder and more strained. This time is roused both mothers. Callie shot up in bed so fast her head started to spin. Arizona's eyes popped open and she looked up at her wife who's face looked both puzzled and worried. Just as Callie asked about the noise Arizona instinctively through the blankets back and ran out the room sprinting down the hall. Callie was in hot pursuit and in a flash the women were storming through Sofia's bedroom door.

Neither was prepared for the scene they walked in on. Their little girl was double over on the floor wreathing in pain. Her shirt was covered with what they could only assume was vomit and blood, maybe. Had it not been for another shrill bursting from Sofia's overworked lungs her mothers might have stood there in shock for hours. Callie's eye were wide, her heart beat harder and harder as she lunged toward her little Sofia, scooping her up in her arms and looking her over.

"Nina, baby girl, what's wrong? Tell mami what's wrong! Where does it hurt sweaty, please tell mami where it hurts!" Callie urged almost screaming at the tiny version of herself she held in her arms. Arizona waited for a response with baited breath but the only answer Sofia had was "it hurts mama", right before she heaved up more foamy vomit speckled with red.

"Oh my god! Sofia baby! What's the matter, what's wrong?" Now Callie _was_ screaming, and crying, and in shock. Being a surgeon did absolutely nothing to prepare her for being a worried mom. Her worry was only made worst by flashbacks of her short-term pregnancy and the struggles Sofia faced as premie. While Callie rocked Sofia trying to comfort herself and the baby, not able to be a doctor at the moment or even sensible, Arizona had already come to the realization that Sofia was very ill and her first gut told her that her little munchkin had neurohypocalcaemia. 1 in 25 premies got it, 1 in 10 suffered from a range of symptoms that appeared 2-6 years after birth and continued for indefinite amounts of time. 1-3 premies with neurohypocalcaemia died before their 10th birthday with no one knowing how to diagnose the illness and more so how to treat it.

Arizona was saying things to Callie as she grabbed clothes from the baby's drawer throwing them in her tiny Dora backpack. She stuffed another bag full of toys, books and pull-ups. Her words weren't reaching Callie though as she still stood rocking Sofia with streams of tears falling onto the little girls chest.

"Calliope!" Arizona finally screamed snapping Callie back into coherency. "Get these bags," she insisted as she slowly lifted Sofia from her wife's arms. "She needs to get the hospital NOW!"

Arizona swiftly left the room asking Sofia if her head hurt, or if she could feel her fingers and toes. She assured her munchkin that she was such a big girl and was going to be okay as they walked back the master bedroom where Arizona grabbed her cell phone.

"Karev! Get up, get to the hospital and book an OR." Arizona liked Alex but she wasn't thrilled that _he_ was the person she needed to count on. Her wife was a mess currently and she couldn't leave Sofia so Alex had to be her eyes, ears, and voice at the hospital _right now_ so when they got there everything would be ready. "I need 2 residents, 5th years… only 5th years, and 3 interns in a prep room when I get there. Call Shepard tell him I need an emergency consult on a serious pediatric neuro case. Order a CT, MRI, and an arrange for an x-ray… I know there's no patient yet, book it under Head of Pediatrics!" Arizona was going to have to throw her rank around tonight if she was going to start prepping a patient who wasn't diagnosed or even at the hospital yet. But she'd do anything for her baby girl so pulling rank wasn't even a question. "There needs to be 200 mg of intravaneous serum calcium on hand, I want AB+ blood warmed and ready just in case the surgery takes a turn south…" she commanded not sure how she was thinking so clearly and rationally about the chances of her little girl slipping away under the knife. "Are you listening Karev? Pull a crash cart and 20 CCs of oxycaldamine… Get up now and DO IT!"

The blonde quickly grabbed a bag of her own, haphazardly grabbing scrubs for her wife and herself along with under wear, then walked out the room still soothing Sofia. Callie was at the door with the keys and her arms out. "I called Mark, the cars running and her seats already in. You ready?" Callie suddenly was on her game again. As the women marched down the hall to the front of the apartment building they heard loud running quickly closing in on them.

"What the hells going on?" Mark yelled as he caught up with them seeing his little girl draped over her mami's shoulder. "Talk to me people, what's wrong here!" Callie shook her head, "I don't know, I'm not in peds, I don't know what these symptoms are Mark. I DON'T KNOW!" she shouted, her voice trembling as worry began to take over her entire body again. Mark grabs Arizona's shoulder and forces her to stop speed walking and turn and look at him. "I don't know for sure Mark, I have Shepard coming in, Karev is prepping, she probably needs surgery," Arizona still manages to stay calm.

Mark stops dead in his tracks as the women continue hastily down the hall. His hands raked through his hair as he clenches his teeth trying to work through his flurry of emotions. His heart was burning in his chest. His mouth was dry and his throat seemed to be closing. He took deep loud breaths to force air into his body. What was happening to his daughter? He wanted so bad to be a good father and somehow he couldn't do for her the one thing he was most qualified to do, keep her healthy. He was a doctor! He was a doctor but right now all he could manage to do was worry like a father would only be expected to. A sense of urgency finally pushed him out the door to the car where Callie was finishing strapping Sofia into her car seat. Arizona was in the front seat fixing the mirrors to match her smaller size. Usually her Latina wife drove but somehow they both knew Arizona was the only one capable of driving tonight.

En route to Seattle Grace Mercy West the little girl's eyes fluttered, her face became alarmingly pale and her breaths were soft and short. "Hang on for me sweetie. You're okay baby. Mami's here, daddy's here, and mama's gonna make it all better," Callie says as tears threaten to spring from her eyes. Sofia's losing consciousness when Mark softly asks, "what's going on? You were just fine when we got off shift, little goose? What's happening?" His voice is shaky and his eyes are racing across his daughter's face as he searches for answers that he doesn't have. "Robbins I need to know NOW! Tell us what's wrong so we can help her. She's losing it back here!" Distracted by their own worry Callie and Mark hadn't noticed that Arizona was now driving the car while sobbing uncontrollably.

"Neurohypocalcaemia. Deathly low levels of serum calcium caused by abnormal chemical regulation. Her brain has mis-developed, likely due to her early delivery. 1 in 25 premies have it, 1 in 10 experience symptoms. 1 in 3 die." Arizona chokes out, tears running from her eyes, heavy breaths keeping her from losing consciousness. She shakes her head back and forth. Until now she had been in surgeon mode. Sofia was another patient, another little girl who needed help. But listening to Mark and Callie try and talk the little girl into staying awake had taken the strength from the pediatric surgeon. All she could think was that she was the one who insisted on an early delivery in case Callie starting crashing in the OR after the accident. Mark was against premature birth but she insisted. She thought when she ran into the OR and saved Sofia's life after delivery that'd be the last time she even needed to save her little girl. But here she was driving frantically to the hospital with her baby's life in her hands again. "1 in 3 die," she repeats after there's no answer from the back seat. "So rub her head she's probably experiencing swelling, and check her BP" Arizona manages to say as she continues to sob.

"Jesus Christ!" Mark interjects as he processes the blonde's words and watches as Callie presses her forehead to Sofia's and starts to cry as well. "Hey, everyone get it together. We're parents! We're all parents and we've got help OUR little girl!" The ortho surgeon lifts her head to look at Mark and catches a stern look of confidence. _He's righ_t she thinks as she takes in a deep breath and wipes her tears. "Is that it baby? Is that all we can do Arizona?" Callie asks wondering why there's traffic at this time of night.

When she's answered with more sobs Mark rolls his eyes, "Great we've lost blondie! Now what?"

"Shut the hell up! I'm her mama and I'm driving so let me cry Mark!" Arizona jeers as she swerves around cars and finally gets past an accident that's been holding them up. Now that this had all become more real for her she was stuck between being a mom and a surgeon, and wasn't sure what to do or say.

Finally they pulled up to the door of the ER. Mark grabbed Sofia out of her seat and rushed her into the hospital. "You! Park that car," he ordered an intern as him and his daughter's mothers sped through the doors and started demanding that people point them to Karev. Every nurse and doctor looked at the frazzled trio and pointed to prep room 6G. None of them took time to explain to the questioning eyes as they practically ran down the hall.

"Karev, where are we? Are you ready?" Arizona questioned knowing Alex had more than enough time to do everything she'd instructed. "Yeah we're good, monitors up, let's get in her in a gown… and… ummm Shepard isn't her yet…" Alex said softly expecting the usually bubbly blonde to throw him to the ground. The blonde's eyes shot wide open as she looked up at Alex while she put her stethoscope to Sofia chest. "What do you mean? I had you call 30 minutes ago, where is he, I need-" she was cut off by a hand on her shoulder. It was Meredith Grey. How had she managed to be here without her husband? "He's coming. He was in surgery and didn't know it was Sofia until I asked Alex a few minutes ago." Arizona shook her head angrily. "When I call you at 2 in the morning and have to prep for surgery under the pretense of practically no patient you assume the worse. You MAKE it urgent for everyone involved Karev!" Arizona growled, her jaws clenched with anger. "Well I thought it might be Sof but-"… "But nothing," Arizona quipped. "You should have paged 911. No questions asked. Now get over here. Start 20 mg of serum at 90 second intervals, not shorter no longer. Got it?" Karev shook his head and starting working on setting up the proper fluids to the IV.

Arizona was rushing around barking orders at the team Karev put together while she unashamedly pulled her shirt of and asked for her scrub top. Callie reached in to her bag and tossed it over along with her cap covered with pink butterflies.

Mark had left the room as soon as he heard Derrick wasn't there yet. He returned with his old friend breathing heavily and covered in sweat. "What's her status?" Derrick asked the crowd. He ducked his head down to look into Arizona's eyes and asked, "What's going on Dr. Robbins, what can I do?" His eyes were full of comfort and concern. He could only imagine being in the same place trying to help Zola. Her and Sofia were inseparable and Derrick held a special place in his heart for Sof.

"She's losing consciousness, possibly the feeling I her fingers. She threw up a substantial amount of blood and digestive chlorobile. I'm not sure yet but"… "She has Neurohypocalcaemia. Ok, let's get a MRI and we'll want get her under as soon as possible," Derrick finishes Arizona's thoughts as he is not totally unfamiliar with the illness.

Arizona shakes her head in agreement helping people set up more monitors as they ready the gurney to be moved to the scan room. "I need two people with me, we'll scrub in now because it's not likely we get a negative back. Let's move!" The head of pediatrics has never felt so tense about preparing for a surgery. A knot in her stomach stops her in place as they pull Sofia out the room towards the elevator.

Suddenly Mark realizes what's happening. Arizona is getting ready to go into surgery for her own kid. She can't do that! It's unethical, it's against hospital protocol, and more importantly it's dangerous! "Whoa there bubbles. I know peds is your thing. The third floor, that's your thing, _your_ arena. But that's _our_ kid in there. You can't operate on Sofia, Arizona. You're her mother for crying out loud!" Mark finishes with a holler as Arizona's face fills with confusion and anger. "Peds is my thing Mark. I'm the best pediatric surgeon west of the Mississippi, so in less you want some under-qualified over-hyped brute like Stark botching her surgery I'm going in!" The blonde has no time to argue. Her team is already headed to the OR and she needs everything to be perfect. She tries to evade Sloan but he rushes back in front of her. She lunges the other way, and whips back, only to find the man sternly placed in front of her still.

Mark looks back at Callie who's been more or less frozen staring off into space. He shoots her look that says _stop this woman before I have to_. Callie shakes her head to get the blood flowing to her brain again. "Mark maybe Arizona should go in. She's the best and Sophia needs her right now," Callie argues with pleading eyes. "Are you mad Torres. You and your _wife_ over here are going to kill our kid!" Arizona gets as close to Marks face as she can with her short stature. "I am not going to kill my little girl. I saved her life once before, and I damn sure won't drop the ball today!" Arizona grunts as she shoves her way past mark and trots down the hall to her OR. "Are you two insane? This isn't right, I'm getting Hunt." Mark looks angrily at his best friend and storms out the prep room to find the Chief of Surgery. Callie remains clutching the packed bags in her hand and looking off into space again. "She was fine. She was supposed to be okay now. She was just fine…" she whimpers as new tears find there way down her face. Callie has never felt so scared and alone. Last time Sofia was sick everyone came together to pull her through. Now, everyone was on edge and something in her gut told her things were going to go very wrong. She doubled over with sadness and heartache as she tried to wrap her head around the real possibility of losing her baby girl, her little miracle, her 5 year bundle of strong!

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**Ok so I'm leaving it here for more to come. Let me hear it! Really, do you like, love, hate it? I really just want to know what other people think. Thanks in advanced, peace!  
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	2. Battle Within

**So here's the next chapter. This is an unsually quick update because I'd written most of it already and feel very inspired by all the positive feedback. THANK YOU ALL FOR REVIEWING. I'm working with quite a few Grey's characters now so bear with me while I try to get the characterization down. **

**Fortunately the med stuff in this chapter is much more accurate if you're concerned at all.**

******I don't own anything, Grey's Anatomy and it's characters are the result of the lovely Shonda Rhimes**

**Enjoy!**

Sofia's scans came back and sure enough it was Neurohypocalcaemia. It had never been a question if Sofia had it, Arizona had never misdiagnosed a clear cut case. The question really was how far had the disease silently progressed over the five years of the little girl's life. Looking over the test results, xrays, and scans Arizona feels sick to her stomach. Some of the damage seemed very advanced. Sofia's little body was struggling with the effects of the chemical imbalance within. Her digestive system had been overloaded for who knows how long and the stress of it was causing things to shut down and degrade. _Had there been signs_ Arizona thought to herself. _Was there something she could have done differently 5 years ago when Callie's heart failed and they delivered Sofia half a term early?_ _Had she been the cause, done something careless the first time she broke protocol to save Sofia? _So many what ifs clouded the blonde's mind until she heard Shepard's voice pulling her back to reality.

"So we're looking at large amounts of intestinal necrosis, swelling in the brain… Maybe a cranial reconstruction there. I'll replace the temporal region with a steel plate and give her brain room to swell, she'll need steroid treatments so it all heals and develops correctly. Then her body should be able to chemically regulate on its own." Shepard was talking confidently, side glancing at Arizona intermittently to make sure she was still focused. "Sound good?" he asked. The peds surgeon just nodded her head slowly. She turned to face Shepard and said, "I'll make a diagonal incision from the umbical region to the left hypochodrium. We'll remove as much necrotic tissue as possible, repair the digestive tract, and drain the chlorobile to prevent further damage." _I can do this, I can do this, I'm going to do this_ Arizona thought as she conversed with Derrick. Placing a hand on her shoulder Derrick asked, "You ready? You know everyone would understand if you let Karev-"… Turning away from the contact Arizona scoffed, "not a chance," as she walked out the diagnostic room and towards the OR. Derrick stood for a second with raised eyebrows thinking maybe she'd actually pull it off if Hunt didn't get there first.

There were monitors, chords, tubes and scalpels all in preparation for a complicated emergency surgery. There were now three 5th year residents scrubbed in, along with 2 peds fellows, an intern, Dr. Shepard, Karev, and of course Robbins. If you considered the surgical assistants, technicians, and the anesthesiologist there was quite a crowd. Callie was sitting in the back row in the observation deck, legs folded, and still clinging on to bags. Perhaps they were the only things weighing her down. Her body was grounded but her mind had long since wondered off into a dark place, a place where people begin to mourn. There _was_ hope, Seattle Grace was home to the very best. But still she could not fight the feeling of darkness taking over her.

Pounding through the halls Mark had resorted to grabbing people to get their attention. Taking a fistful of Avery's collar he barked at the surgeon demanding that someone tell him where Hunt was. "I don't know man" Avery started before Mark shook him a little encouraging him to at least make something up. "OK, look Christina was talking about getting in on some surgery of his so chances are they're operating but…" Mark didn't stick around to hear that Owen requested an interruption- free surgery. He released the young junior attending and jogged over to the nearest nurse's station. He plowed through the charts, flipping them up looking for anything remotely interesting enough to make Christina beg. "This! This has gotta be it. Where's this surgery supposed to be," the panicked man asks a nearby nurse. He was told OR 6 and without a second thought he was on the move, bypassing the elevator opting to bound up the stairs.

"You can't just go in there doctor, you're not sterile" a technician insisted as they tried to body block Mark from entering the OR and contaminating the space. "Look I need to see Hunt" Mark panted, but he was only given a blank stare that read _no way_. "Fine! Then you tell him Arizona Robbins is about to start a surgery on her five-year-old daughter!" the worried father says with obvious irritation. "Alright, give me a second" the technician complies gesturing for Mark to _stay _before turning to go back into the OR. Mark turns too, running water and soap over his hands quickly, pulling on a smock, and grabbing a mask before he followed the technician in anyway.

"Dr. Sloan you just put my surgery at risk. What the hell are you doing in my OR?" Heads jerk around to see Mark standing in the door with a mask pressed to his sweaty face. "I told him not to" the technician says defensively before Mark finally answers, "Robbins is hell bent on performing Sofia's surgery. You gotta stop her!" Owen's head shoots up, eyes wide with confusion and worry. "Sofia's surgery? When did Sofia get here, what happened that she…." Hunt stops and hands his scalpel to Christina knowing she'll gladly take over for him. "Never mind that. Where is she? Robbins knows that this is a total breach of protocol," Owen continues as he walks towards Mark and the two men leave the OR. Hunt rips his gloves off and starts to wash his hands before Sloan grabs his elbow and pulls him on. "No time doc. We gotta move. That's my kid in there and… well you know, I'm a parent," he grunts as he practically drags the chief down the hall and into the stair well. "Alright I got it. We'll get Robbins out of there. I'm on your side" Hunt assures him trying to keep pace with the frazzled father.

Clad in new smocks and a mask Owen barges into Sophia's OR and says as calmly as he can manage, not wanting to startle people wielding sharp instruments, "Dr. Robbins I believe you're aware of all the rules you're breaking right now. So I need you to step away from the table and leave this OR!" The blonde doesn't look up, instead she stays frozen, scalpel in her hand that's hovering over Sophia's abdomen. "Dr. Robbins?" Owen raises his voice not sure what the holdup is. Suddenly he notices that everyone looks scared and Arizona's hand is shaking as if she was operating in sub-zero temperatures. "Dr. Robbins hasn't made much progress Chief," Shepard says trying to silently express that the peds surgeon had been stuck like that since Derrick gave her the go ahead to start operating. "Maybe you could come and assist," he continued. The look on his face insinuating that Owen had to physically come and remove the blonde from the scene.

The battle between surgeon and mom was fought and won by the more primal party. Deep down Arizona was nothing more than a mother. Maybe this hadn't been her dream but she was meant to be Sofia's momma and that instinctive part of her wouldn't let her be a surgeon. Not in that OR, not with that little girl on the table. Owen slowly moved towards Arizona until he could place his hand atop her's. "It's _okay_ Dr. Robbins. Let me just-" the Chief wouldn't be able to finish because a loud cry left Arizona's throat that made the hairs stand up on the necks of everyone in ear shot. "I'm not leaving her here Hunt. I'M NOT!" Arizona shouted, feeling as though everyone was a threat to her baby girl and she needed to protect her, maybe even from herself.

Sometimes in a marriage you can tell when your partner needs you. It's not something you can be taught, it comes from truly loving someone so much that their whole being becomes a part of your own. Callie realized shortly before Owen arrived what had happened to her wife. The Latina knew that instead of being Arizona Robbins pediatric surgeon of the century, downstairs in the OR was Sofia's momma. Before, she thought it'd be okay if Dr. Robbins was there for Sophia, but she would never let her momma cut her open. In reaction to the change Callie knew she had to go down and get her wife out of there or else she might lose both of her girls tonight. She was scrubbed in and walking towards Arizona shortly after she heard her wife's roar.

"Move," Callie said sternly as she pulled Owen away from her wife and took the scalpel from the blonde's hand. "Baby. Arizona look at me," Callie urged until her warm brown eyes were locked with bloodshot baby blues. "You are an amazing surgeon 7 days of the week. I've seen you save lives that haven't even begun yet. But baby listen to me. Right now you're not a doctor anymore. Next to our little girl you're just a mother. You're just Sophia's momma," the brunette explained trying not to cry in the face of her distressed partner. "The best thing you can do, the best way to be a good mother, is to come with me and let everyone else save our girl."

The room was deathly silent. Literally, if things didn't start happening fast Sophia was going to start coding. The team of doctors was concerned for Arizona, they wanted her to find some strength to trust her colleagues, but more importantly they wanted to save Sophia's life. Protocol or not, no one was leaving that OR with their sanity if Sofia Robbin Sloan Torres died on that table.

Arizona looked around at concerned and slightly frightened eyes. She looked back at Calliope and her knees all but gave out. Her wife held her up, remembering her vow to never let her fall. "Okay," she whispered as she looked down at the ground slowly nodding her head. Callie led the distraught woman out of the OR, got her scrubbed out, and took her to the closest on-call room. Though she had no strength left to protest the look on Arizona's face told Callie that she was confused as to why they weren't in the observation deck. "I don't think we should watch," Callie explained as she closed the door behind them.

Without words the two surgeons stripped down to panties and bras and slid under the covers. Callie opened her arms and waited until Arizona slid into them. The safety they had in each other's arms just hours ago had gone away. With the weight of Sofia's surgery on their hearts there was no use trying to sleep. Instead they lay silently, Arizona curled up in Callie's arms, her head snuggled against her wife's neck. For a long time the only sound was two beating hearts and shallow breathes. Eyes were closed but sleep never came.

Sometimes when you're hurting your mind tries to force you to deal with it. All Arizona could do to suppress her sorrow was imagine. "Do you remember the night she started walking?" A strained laugh floated out of Arizona's mouth as her words broke the deafening silence. Maybe her mind had also found itself in the early stages of mourning as it reminisced on all the wonderful moments with Sof. "She was so determined Callie. I could see the gears turning in her little head. She wasn't going to let a couple missteps stop her. She was on her way to the couch so God help her." Soon both women were laughing, finding some comfort in their memories. "And when she made it," Arizona pauses to look up at Callie whose face was adorned with a huge smile. "…she let out this big laugh. She just about scared herself!" Arizona's smile turned into a frown at the thought of how beautiful her little girl's laugh was, and how her heart would stop if she never got to hear it again.

The Latina took her wife's face in her hands and pressed their lips together. Again, the blue-eyed woman didn't need to say anything for Callie to know what she was thinking. "We'll hear it again Zo. She'll be laughing, and dancing, and talking her face off real soon. So don't give up on her. Don't!" Callie finished dipping down to kiss Arizona again. "You promise?" Arizona asked knowing it was out of Callie's hands but wanting the false reassurance anyway. "Well all the time you spent kicking Karev's ass around in that peds ward has to be good for something." Now a wholehearted laughter fills the room and brings the mothers back to place where there was hope and confidence. This was no time to be giving up on their munchkin, not when she needed them so badly.

"You're still amazing Calliope. Every day you amaze me," Arizona said with more love then she ever thought herself capable of possessing. She could never explain how her wife knew exactly what to say. So often Callie knew what Arizona was thinking before Arizona even worked her thoughts out good. And she began to think that this indescribable connection they had, the way they fit each other so well that words couldn't describe it, was undoubtedly true love. "Back atcha!" Callie said with a soft smile, her eyes peering into Arizona's, feeling all the love they shared 10 times over.

"I really freaked out in there didn't I?" Arizona asks embarrassed and ashamed. "Shhhh," Callie insisted. "Sometimes we think we're doing things right and really it's all wrong. You're the same Arizona Robbins you were yesterday, mother/wife/surgeon extraordinaire. It's just now you know where to draw the line."

Before Arizona could continue criticizing herself and her antics there's a knock on the door just as it swings open ever so much. Mark peaks his head around the corner and both women tilt their heads up not sure if he has good or bad news. It's been about 4 hours and neither woman could bear to go check in. "Um… hey. I thought you guys would wanna know what went down in there. Um… Shepard had it the whole time. He got the plate in, caught a couple of bleeders, I mean he really pulled through." Mark hesitated as his eyes moved away from the women and onto the floor. "What about Karev," Arizona questioned. Her voice was shaky and full of worry. "Did Karev get it done?" This time Arizona shouts as she sits up in the bed.

"He ran into more complications than I think he was ready for. So much of her large intestine was necrotic. I mean it's no wonder there was all that chlorobile, her digestive system was working way too hard. He wound up trying to transplant part of her lower intestine… uh just a epithelial graft but he couldn't get a good hold…" Mark pauses as Arizona's face remains unchanged except the water glazing over her baby blue eyes. "…He kept having to go back and Sof, sh-she lost a lot of blood. Sh-she st-started coding." Mark can hardly speak as he has to choke his words out. "She flat-lined about halfway through, they got her back but she was out so long I- I just don't know if it was too late." Callie looks up from the spot on the covers were she'd been staring the whole time. "What do you mean you don't know?" She questioned, confused as to what Mark was trying to say. Hadn't he watched the rest of the surgery? Hadn't he stayed to see if she made it? If he didn't know than what the hell was he doing in here?

"I couldn't do it okay?" Mark says covering his mouth to keep from crying out. Tears found their way down his face now. "I couldn't watch anymore. She's _my_ baby too, and I'm a wreck just like the rest of us," Mark said matter-of-factly. He leaned back against the wall and looked up to the ceiling. "We're all a mess." There's more silence in the on-call room again. This time there is no respite brought on by fond memories of Sofia. The three parents have too much angst and fear between them to start up a light conversation. So they wait. No words, just beating hearts, and more shallow breathes. There is an occasional sniffle because no one is above crying at this point. Hell, crying is the only thing that makes sense.

"Mark. Where's Torres and-" Derrick walks through the cracked door looking for the parents but stopping mid-sentence once he realized that they were all there. "Look, she's stable." Almost as if rehearsed all three parents let out heavy sighs of relief. "Thank God," Callie says, all her worry slowly falling from her body. "We started her on the steroid regiment, we're monitoring her calcium levels and keeping her off solids for at least a week. If Karev didn't keep at that graft she'd have never eaten another solid in her life. But she's going to be just fine people." Derrick finishes with a smile as all the faces of sorrow turn into joyous ones.

"I love you man," Mark proclaims wrapping his arms around his old friends upper body. Barely able to breath Derrick responds with a pat on his buddy's back and, "no problem. Anything for Sof." He shoots a nervous smile at the couple on the bed slowly losing feeling in his fingers. "Uhhh… Mark! Let em go. Don't kill the man, he just saved our kid!" Callie jokes as she watches the look of relief come over Derrick's face upon his release. "Can we see her now?" Arizona asks, forgetting she's a doctor and can go see whichever patient she wanted for the most part. "Yeah, definitely," the neuro surgeon answered, flashing another big smile. Callie is preparing to leap out of the bed and go hug Derrick herself but she remembers that she's only in her underwear. Even though she's body confident she doesn't think it wise to jump out half naked in front of the married Shepard. "Derrick, I'd hug ya but I'm not wearing much under here sooo… just know that we really can't thank you enough," Callie explains to the blushing man with a big smile. Derrick smiles sheepishly and nods. He gives everyone another quick look of contentment and turns on his heels and out the door.

"Alright! Get some clothes on you two. We got a munchkin to see!" Mark exclaims, sounding as eager as a man headed to a baseball game with dug out seats. The usually more reserved Arizona smiles big as she flings the covers back and jumps up to look for clothes. Callie jerks her head back in surprise and then let's her eyes settle on her wife's behind. Mark hasn't been rattled enough that night to miss the show either, and when Callie notices him oogling her wife she yells, "hey, hey, hey. Eyes off the good stuff!" Arizona looks up finally realizing that she's rushing around clad in her underwear in front of the self-proclaimed 'golden-boy' of SGH. "Jeez Mark! Get out!" She orders, her face flush with red embarrassment while her hands come up trying to provide more coverage. There's really no use. "Hey, for what it's worth blondie, I'm impressed with how tight everything is. Really, _ku-dos_," he says still eyeing the blonde that so unfortunately belonged to his best friend _and_ played for the other team.

A pillow went flying through the air and crashing into Marks abdomen with deadly accuracy. "I meant it! Eyes off, now go find our girl perv," Callie quipped as she smiled in response to her strong arm throw. Mark left out after the two friends exchanged a couple looks, silently laughing at how they both knew Callie wasn't all that upset that Mark got to be jealous for once. The brunette's face said it all _I know, my wife's fucking HOT!_

"Sometimes I wonder how you put up with him." Arizona shakes her head and pulls on her scrubs. Now that there was some ease in her mind she realized that before long she would have to go back to being Head of Pediatrics. "You learn to love him," Callie chuckles as Arizona wiggles into her bottoms. "But can you blame him babe? It's one hell of a view!" The Latina husks raising an eyebrow as her eyes did their best to undress the fully clothed blonde. "Calliope! We just found out Sofia's okay and you're over there giving me sexy eyes. Get up and get dressed." Callie frowned half disappointed that her advances were stalled and half disappointed that she had lost sight of why she was happy in the first place.

The raven haired woman got up and threw on her own scrubs, pulled her hair into a ponytail, and grabbed her pager out of the bag. Arizona grabbed her hand and they walked to the recovery ward fingers laced. After a night like they had there was no letting go of anyone else.

Mark was sitting by Sofia's bed when they got there. He looked up and said, "good. She's doing great, of course, she is a Sloan after all. But you guys can sit with her while I go get changed." Arizona and Callie rolled their eyes in unison quickly shifting their attention to Sofia. "Hey baby girl," Arizona says quietly as she walks over to the tiny human who so eerily resembled her wife. She planted a kiss on Sof's forehead before whispering, "You scared us half to death little lady. Never again." She followed with another kiss this time on the cheek and sat down opposite her wife next to the bed. "Look at our girl," Callie sighs. "She's been through so much and she's not even five yet." She smiles a little at the irony of such a sick tyke having three surgeons for parents and lets out a little laugh. "Let's make this our last trip here, okay?" she requests of the sleeping little girl, her hand brushing back raven curls.

**I have a plan just in case anyone felt to resolved at the end of this chapter. Don't get too comfy with this happy ending. Keep reviewing, I'm really appreciative and keeps the chapters flowing. Also, who's up for longer chapters? Is this length good? Peace!**


	3. Some Old Advice

**Okay, so this is the pace I want to go as far as updating this story. I really want each chapter to be purposeful and connected to the real Grey's SL while keeping it fresh. I'm starting a new AU soon that will go much faster if anyone wants more, faster. So what happens after Arizona's big break down in the OR? How do things go at work the next day?**

**I don't own anything, Grey's Anatomy and its characters are the result of the lovely Shonda Rhimes**

**Enjoy**

* * *

In similar fashion to her physical break down, Sofia Robbin let out a series of raspy coughs around 2 in the morning signaling the beginning of her recovery. Sloan was in surgery still and Callie had gone home to get clothes. So Arizona remained, curled up in a chair next to Sophia's bed with about 4 pillows propping her head up so she could always see the little girl. "Sof?" The worried mom creeps out of her sleep and starts to register that the harsh breathing is coming from her baby girl who'd been out all day. 24 hours ago she was rocking the child in her arms on the way to the hospital. 19 hours ago she was reeling from an emotional break down until she knew her girl was okay. 14 hours ago she started her ten-hour shift with the whole incident fresh on everyone's mind. It had been a crazy day! But she sprung up with newfound energy and leaned over to Sofia. "Hey there munchkin. How you feeling?" A wide smile, dimples and all, spread across the woman's face. In between quieter coughs Sofia asked, "what happened momma? I feel funny." Arizona gave her daughter a sympathetic look knowing she was probably still coming down off an anesthetic high, experiencing headaches, and was undoubtedly parched. "I know baby girl. How about I get you some water and I'll tell you all about the magical adventures you had while you were sleeping." Arizona is answered with a drowsy nod and a small smile. Even the slightest grin from Sof made the blonde gush with love. She thought she'd fallen head over heels for Callie but falling in love with Sofia was even more profound and wholehearted. The little Latina girl had become Arizona's entire world.

"Be right back," the blonde promised before scurrying out the room to find a nurse. "Can you bring me a cup of water and small thing of ice cream to 203? Thanks." Just after Arizona turns away from the nurse she sees her wife coming down the hall with a new bag of clothes.

"Hey," Callie says questioningly. "How's the munchkin?" Cal could tell by the sparkle in her wife's baby blue eyes and the smile on her face that Sofia was up. She put on a great big smile of her own as she walked into the room and locked eyes with the yawning little girl. "Oh my God! Mija." Callie grabbed the girl's head and peppered her face with kisses. "Mami was so, so scared. Don't you ever scare us like that again, okay?" Callie just kept smiling not really expecting Sofia to make any promises. "Momma said I had a magic adventure but I sleep the whole time," Sofia mentions much more concerned about having missed any fun than being in a hospital bed.

The nurse returned with a small thing of orange sherbet and a cup of water. Arizona handed it to the little one and told her she'd get to eat a lot more of it for the next couple of days. Sophia smiled uncontrollably as she scooped the cold sweetness into her tiny mouth. "So you wanna know what happened while you were sleep," Arizona asks knowing that Sophia was already excited to hear all about it. The child just nodded furiously looking back and forth between her mothers' gazes hoping someone would hurry and fill her in.

"Well Mami was very scared last night when you were sick and I didn't know what to do," Callie started brushing Sofia's hair behind her ear. "So momma called Dr. Alex and told him to get all his magic together because he was going to have to fix you up." Sofia's eyes got big and she suddenly forgot all about her sweet treat. "Then me, momma, and daddy put you in our secret flying car so we could fly you over the whole city and go straight to the hospital." Sofia couldn't believe what she was hearing, her little mouth sat open as she looked now to Arizona. "Momma, really? We flied here from home?" Sofia had to get a second opinion. "We sure did munchkin. We flew here as fast as we could. At first momma was gonna help Dr. Alex with his magic but I didn't know how," the blonde says trying her best not to cry anymore. "So Uncle Derrick came and they made all the bad stuff in your tummy and your head disappear. Then they sprinkled magic dust all over you so you got all new stuff now." Sofia folded her arms a sudden wave of anger coming over her. "No fair," she said with a pout. "Nobody waked me up!" Callie and Arizona chuckled at their little girl's frustration. They were glad that she seemed to be her same old self. Sofia's frustration quickly went away when she rediscovered her icey snack and continued to scoop it up.

Just then Mark came in with his scrubs still on. "I heard she was up from some nurse. Anyone ever her of a phone call?" He looked at the two women before forgetting his anger and moving towards the girl. "Hey there little goose. Whatcha eating?" Sofia smiled and informed him about her orange sherbet, and how she knew about the magic, and was mad her daddy didn't wake her. "Well it doesn't work so well if you're up little lady," Mark said, effortlessly able to diffuse her frustrations. Callie stood up and placed a hand on Mark's shoulder, "You mind watching her while me Zo go get cleaned up?" Mark waved them off insisting that him and Sofia would be fine. They left out as Sofia began to ask her dad all about her magical 'new' insides.

Back in the locker room both women had just left the shower and were about to change into scrubs. They both had to work again at 9 so there was only about 7 hours left and no point in changing again later. "So how was your day? Seems like all we talked about since we got off was Sof," Callie said massaging lotion into her legs trying to rub away the tense knots in her muscles. "It was dreadful," Arizona answered to Callie's surprise. The brunette figured since Sofia was okay Arizona would have had her normal chipper back. "Tell me about it, I'm all ears," Callie went on, she hoped a concerned ear would be enough to lighten her wife's mood.

Arizona was hesitant. She shook her head not sure where to even begin. Eventually she began the story of how awful her shift had been that day following Sofia's surgery.

::**::**::**::

When her pager sounded Arizona's head jerked up. She forced her eyes open and wiped away the sleep. She squinted to see the short message: NICU 911. She groaned as she got out of he chair she'd been sleeping on in the corner of Sofia's hospital room. Her whole body ached, partly from the makeshift bed and partly from all the crying. She stood up, stretched some, and slid on her heelies. She frowned at the sight of her baby girl lying in a hospital bed, and then at the thought of not having time for coffee. She threw on her white coat and rolled out the room past a sleeping Callie and Mark.

Up in the NICU there was a 2 week old premie. The infant was only 9 or 10 inches long and couldn't even open her eyes. What was certain was that she had thick black hair and a very weak heart beat. "What's her status?" Arizona asked as she moved towards the incubator. Lexie Grey handed her the chart and told her that the premie's heart was having a hard time beating because of lack of oxygen. Arizona glanced up at a monitor and was taken aback by the low oxygen levels indicated by the numbers on the screen. "Why didn't anybody start her on oxy-globin? Whatever's happening is just getting worse!" Lexie and the other residents looked around at each other, no one wanted to admit to why they hadn't paged Dr. Robbins or done anything on their own. Finally someone nudged Lexie when Arizona's glare intensified. "Well we weren't sure what to do but we didn't want to page you because…" Lexie's voice trailed off not wanting to come out and say how they thought Arizona couldn't handle such a sensitive case after the night's events. "Are you all out of your mind's? This is peds people. Kids come in, kids leave out, _who_ the kid is, or _resembles_ does NOT matter. Next time you have a neo crashing you page me!"

All the residents looked ashamed of themselves after Arizona ripped them a new one. They had good intentions but knew all along it wasn't their place to try and protect the surgeon from the struggles of the job. Everyone scurried around trying not to further upset the department head they were supposed to be impressing. Turns out that the premie was past chemical treatment and needed surgery. Before long there was an OR ready and Arizona and her team were scrubbed in and preparing to operate. Arizona spoke calmly and with certainty as she explained how the cardio vascular procedure would go. "We'll start with an incision here." The blonde surgeon slid a scalpel across the tiny chest and up the neck. "Clamp here and here. Now, you'll want to look for a spot between the hyoid and larynx," she continues prodding within the infant's incision until she finds what she's looking for. "Here. We'll make a subcutaneous cut and examine the tracheal lining." With all the precision and dexterity necessary for a procedure on such a small being Arizona removes masses and large amounts of mucous that have been keeping the neonate from breathing. Her cuts are clean, her direction is sound, and her work is unparalleled. After an hour and a half's time Arizona is confident the premie will make a full recovery.

"Let's get ready to close up," she says with a smile hidden by her surgical mask. Then the shrill of a beeping monitor surprises the group of physicians. "Damn it, she's coding. What happened?" Arizona isn't asking anyone in particular as she looks over her work. Her eyes stay on the patient as she calls for resuscitative action. She uses two fingers to push down on the tiny heart just below the premie's chest. She continues dishing out orders since there's still no sign of a heartbeat. "What now," a resident asks as the monitor continues to relay a flat line. "Another CC of epi," Arizona insists as she frantically pushes on the baby's heart. "Another," someone questions gingerly still having doubts about Arizona's state of mind. "Do it!" she urges. This time the CC comes without stall but there's no change. Still pushing away, the peds surgeon tries summoning a heartbeat with pure resolve. "Come on," she pleads. Today was not the day she needed to lose a premie, especially one so strikingly similar to Sofia.

After about 45 seconds the residents began to look around and silently agreed that it was over. "Should we call it?" Grey asks sure that the baby was gone. No sooner had Arizona shot her look of repulsion before a pulse appeared on the monitor. The blonde gives out a sigh of relief. "Thank God". He was obviously watching her back today. "Call Karev to close up and run post-op. I need to go." Arizona hastily leaves the OR and rips her gloves off before leaning over the sink. She takes in long deep breaths and tries her best to clear her head. She could really use a rewind button or minor case of amnesia, something, anything to make the memory of leaving Sofia last night go away. The doctors who were still in the OR could see Arizona leaning over the sink and didn't think it was a bad idea to call in Karev to finish the surgery.

Later in the hall Arizona looked over some charts with her face still plastered with sadness and stress. The group of residents who were on her service and in surgery with her just stared. "I think she might retire or something," one of the young doctors says quietly. "No she's not," Lexie Grey responds, giving her peer a look of disappointment. "She's a great surgeon guys, she's just having a bad day. You'd be too!" Everyone looks around and tries to be more empathetic but none of them can relate much to Arizona. "Well, I heard after her stunt last night Hunt's just gonna fire her. Keep her from crashing in flames on some little kids surgery," the rumors continue, this time from a nurse sitting behind a desk. The residents turn around to ask for more details and the nurse's tone must not have been hushed enough because Arizona heard her too.

The blonde looked up from her chart and saw that instead of everyone staring, like they had been, they were soaking in all the gossip the nurse had to offer. "Yeah, and everyone knows she's like kind of crazy and hostile. Chief's scared she's going to start knocking people out or something. He thinks she's out of control, a big mess really," the nurse goes on, not noticing that the woman in question had keyed in on the conversation. Just then Lexie looked up and saw Arizona focusing in on the group and new right away that she had heard everything. "Oh God," Lexie mumbled as Arizona's face turned angry, then beat red, then sad, as tears began to trickle down her face. Lexie shot the group of professionals a look of contempt before quickly grabbing Arizona and pulling her into the stair well.

"Hey, I know none of those people out there get it. I kind of do, but I don't. What you and Callie have been through is the type of stuff nightmares are made of and who doesn't hate nightmares?" Arizona looks up at little Grey confused while her sobs just continued. "Look, do you remember a long time ago when there was some fire and this kid came in. Almost his entire body was torched and I was just a wreck. I basically ran away, left him to kind of just, writhe in pain. But you snapped me out of it. You told me I had to 'shut my feelings down' because the patient needed me. Well, this whole department needs you. You're the only person strong enough to run peds with a smile. Don't let it all break you down."

Lexie took a second to let her words sink in. Slowly the blonde began to take in big breaths and nod her head. "You're right, I can do this. I just have to shut it down." Arizona wiped away her tears and unexpectedly grabbed Lexie into a big hug. "Thanks little Grey," she said mustering up a smile for the woman who had so graciously reciprocated Arizona's advice from years ago. The two doctors left the stairwell and Arizona marched over to the residents. She cleared her throat and straightened up her face the best she could. "Affective immediately everyone except Grey is off my service until further notice. You all can leave my ward now," she said calmly almost smiling with satisfaction at the looks of shock and disappointment coming from the residents. The crowd slowly dispersed, everyone kicking their selves for being so foolish. Arizona smiled to herself feeling much better after the dismissal.

Arizona was in between surgeries as she sat in her office staring out the window. She felt better but her mind was still all over the place. Then there was someone knocking on the door frame peering in at the worried blonde. Miranda Bailey gives her a knowing look before stepping in the office. "I've had my pep talk for today Bailey so it's okay. You don't have to play nice…" The short woman cuts her off lifting her hand sternly. "Robbins, I'm not her to lecture you, but I will say this- remember all that time ago when you first suggested I come to peds? I told you all about when Tuck was sick and dying in this very same hospital. I told you how useless and terrible I felt that night. Truth is I did the _right_ thing letting him go so our people could save him. And umm… you did the right thing too… so stop worrying about all that mess before hand. You're a mom, crazy comes with the territory." Bailey gives a strong nod to the blonde knowing that Arizona's silence is telling of her understanding. And before she leaves she adds, "Oh, and before I forget. Don't ever let me see you crying in front of residents again!" Arizona opens her mouth to explain or protest or both when Bailey shoots her hand up again. "Ah ah NO buts. I saw you run away like a little puppy." Miranda shakes her head in disappointment causing the blonde to smile a little at the thought of how pitiful she most have appeared. The shorter surgeon leaves out adding as she walks away, "you're better than that Dr. Robbins." Now Arizona is really smiling. The people at SGMW never cease to amaze her.

But her respite from all the worry is short-lived. This day just won't take a turn for the better. She's paged to Sofia's room where there is a crowd of doctors including Karev checking monitors, and pulses, and fluids. "What's happening?" Arizona says loudly stepping into the hospital room. Karev turns and explains that they tried taking Sofia off the calcium for a couple hours and she started crashing. When Arizona questioned the success of the surgery Karev attributed the set back to the fact that the swelling in her brain was only part of the problem. Sofia wouldn't be completely healthy until the steroids helped her brain heal properly and completely. "Tell me she's going to be fine Alex," Arizona pleads looking at her baby girl nervously. "We keep her on fluids for the rest of the day, maybe the rest of the week. We don't want her crashing like this again. But she'll be fine, it just takes time." Alex does his best to calm Arizona down before she realizes that she's alone. Where are Mark and Callie? Alex informs her that they're on a big emergency case in OR 2 and probably haven't had the chance to check their pagers.

More worry spreads across her face. What if Sofia doesn't wake up soon? All three of them will be a mess, _again_. "Karev I need you stay here. Keep someone in here round clock. If she crashes again her sutures will hemorrhage, she'll have to go back under, all this work could be undone. So you have to stay with her all day because we can't." Karev tries to protest but Arizona just talks over him. "She has to be okay Karev. She has to come back from this, you can't let her die," Arizona's voice get's shaky. She hadn't thought of Sofia dying at all that day until now. After the surgery she felt confident that Sof would be okay but now her mind was back in the darkest of places.

Alex looked at the crazed mother. Her eyes were filling with tears yet again. He grabbed her shoulders and shook her a bit. "Your kid isn't dying dude!" Karev almost yells wanting desperately for the blonde to stop crying. "All these sick, dying kids here and you're freaking about one who's gonna make it. All you see is the tiny coffin. Remember that? When you first started here you told me, and for once I _listened_, that you have to turn your back on the tiny coffins! Sofia isn't dying, there's no tiny coffin, and where the hell is rainbow loving chick that taught me that?" Arizona stops crying and knits her brow. _How do these people remember this stuff so well? _The seriousness in Alex's voice and face pulls the blonde back together.

"Just keep her safe," Arizona says more or less asking. Karev nods before adding, "and please stop crying." There's an awkward hug before the man leaves along with all the other people who'd been bringing Sofia back to stable. Ari walked over to her daughter and ran her thumb over the tiny cheekbones. "We're going to keep you safe," she whispers before kissing the child and leaving. And like every other day, life went on. She got caught in a parade of surgeries, some as short as 45 minutes, others as long as 5 hours. She'd seen worse but today everything was just harder. One thing she could be proud of was her success rate. She'd seen 8 patients that day and managed to save every one of them. But her heart still turned heavy every time she checked in on Sofia only to realize she hadn't woken up. A couple of times she caught Callie in Sof's room and Arizona got to enjoy the company of her both her favorite girls. None-the-less it was rough going until her shift finally ended.

::*::*::*::

"Jesus Zo. That is a bad day. I'm sorry nothing went easy for you after last night," Callie says to console her worn out wife. Arizona shrugs her shoulders, "I'm just glad it's over and we can get some sleep." She smiles softly at Callie before her wife leans over and steals a kiss. Not that Callie's day wasn't any easier but she had a feeling that all this drama with Sofia was having a darker affect on Arizona than herself, so she sucked it up tried to be strong for her wife. As they got dressed there was an exchange of sexy looks and glances. No matter what happened in their life the two women would never be able to resist one another, especially when either of them was scantily clothed. A few times Callie reached over and pinched Arizona's ass before the blonde could even protest. As they flirted and giggled there was a sense of normalcy returning to them. As Alex had made clear to Zo earlier that day, Sof's recovery wasn't going to be quick or easy, but things would start to turn around. The little family just had to keep it together.

Mark sprang up as the women returned saying he desperately needed to shower himself. He gave them a quick run down of what details he'd come up with the go along with the stories of Sofia's magical operation. It was pretty cute how they didn't want to slip up and reveal to the little girl that instead of a fairytale adventure she had just undergone extensive emergency surgery. With a light push from Callie, Mark finally left even though he snuck in a few more looks at his little goose as he walked out the door. Something about Sofia was very addictive for all three parents.

Though the on-call rooms weren't far from Sofia the two mothers didn't feel comfortable enough to leave her yet. So they had someone bring them cot so they could sleep a little more comfortably next to their little girl. Due to the beds small size the two were forced to lay pressed close against each other, not that they were complaining. In the darkness they talked about their surgeries curled together like two pieces of a puzzle that fit perfectly together. Something Callie said made Arizona laugh loud enough that Sofia tossed a little in her sleep. The blonde covered her mouth with her hand but a smile bled through. Callie wrapped Arizona up and turned her around so the two were pressed together face to face. "Shhhhhh, you're going to wake the munchkin," Callie said quietly giggling at Arizona's attempts to stifle her laughter. When Arizona caught her breath she looked into her wife's deep brown eyes and suddenly her mouth went dry. "Oh, it'd take a lot more than that to get her up," Arizona says bashfully. There was an almost undetectable bit of innuendo in her voice but Callie was never one to let sexy talk go over her head.

"I know exactly what you mean. It'd take a bit of screaming to get her up," Callie looked back at her partner who's eyes were darkening as the dim light flickered off the dreamy blue orbs. Almost instinctively Arizona's hand moves from Callie's side up to her neck as she leans forward and presses their lips together. Callie tilts her head pushing herself deeper into the kiss and Arizona's embrace. The smaller of the two ladies went to hook her legs around the brunette's thigh but instead her knee ran into her wife's groin forcefully. She had unfortunately misjudged how little room they had and Callie let out a grunt of pain. "Oh my God!" Arizona apologized before the two of them had to laugh at them selves. They were no more than 5 feet from their kid on a tiny hospital cot trying to sneak in some sexy time. It was all quite comical all of the sudden. Even though they were laughing fires had been lit inside of each woman that wasn't going away on behalf of a low blow from a misguided knee.

"Maybe she'll be okay in here for a bit, just while we try to… sleep," Arizona inquires of her wife. They both silently agreed that Sofia was fast asleep and with all the stresses of the day they deserved a little release. So they crawled off the cot, scratched out a little note for Sofia's dad, and tip toed out of the room. They practically ran to the nearest on-call, bursting through the door, and falling against it, as it slammed shut. It seemed like they had some unfinished business to attend to. There was no desire to stall or tease. Scrubs came flying off and pieces and their clothes littered the floor. Their tongues thrashed around fighting for power until Callie scooped Arizona up and flung her on the bed. She undid her own bra before climbing on top of Arizona and lending a helpful hand. They returned to their heated kiss, this time Arizona pulled Cal's lower lip into her mouth and bit down until they could both taste the metallic tinge of blood. The feelings of pain and pleasure caused Callie to groan. Her hands firmly took hold of the blonde's perfect breast and her thumbs flickered across the sensitive nipples. Arizona whimpered from the contact and thrust her hips up trying to create friction between her and Callie's front.

The Latina moved her mouth down to Arizona's chest where she sucked and nipped leaving a trail of red hickies. Arizona dug her nails into Calliope's back scratching the superficial layers of skin away. Callie let out a guttural moan and fell onto her side. The lovers lay face to face as their legs intertwined and their hands slid below their hips. Almost in unison Callie and Arizona slid their fingers through one another's folds. Callie was first to plunge two digits deep inside her wife while her thumb circled the blonde's clit. Arizona arched her back and bucked her hips to meet the pace of Callie's flawless hands. Returning the favor Arizona copied her wife's motion slipping her own fingers into Callie's core feeling the arousal seeping down her hand. "Shit," Callie exhaled at the feeling of her and her wife being inside each other. The two women moved in perfect synchronization, applying all the right pressure, whispering sweet nothings. It was only a few minutes before each of their bodies tensed up as they moved towards the edge of desire, their lust rearing it's head as their ecstasy peaked. Callie could feel Arizona tighten around her fingers as her own core did the same. Another passionate kiss sent the lovers tumbling into a world of delight as surges of heat coursed through them.

As they slowly came down the blonde's body began to shudder and goose bumps sprang up all over her. Callie slowly removed her fingers from her wife's center as she panted heavily. The Latina rested her forehead against Zo's and whispered, "I love you," in between lung-fulls of air. Arizona grabbed the blanket and pulled it over them as she felt her temperature suddenly drop. She brought her hands up to rest on Callie's collarbones and she nuzzled her head into the brunette's neck. "I don't know if I'll ever stop being scared," Arizona says almost inaudibly. Even though what she and her wife just shared was special and wonderful, it was only a small break from the reality that Sofia was still not well. Callie's heart dropped for the 100th time that day. She wrapped her arms around the blonde and waited before responding. She wanted to be sure to say all the right things.

Before Callie could come up with anything Arizona continued. "You know, I told your dad once that I was 'a good man in a storm'. I really believed that until a night ago." Arizona stared blankly at her wife's flawless skin. She was officially out of tears. "At first I was fine but when we were driving all I could do was think of Wallace. How I took his parents down to the morgue and watched the reality fall over them that their little boy was dead. He was so brave, and smart, and happy. It's terrible because the only thing he was scared of was going to sleep and having nightmares. So, I'm standing over Sof in that operating room wondering what if she's scared. What if she's having nightmares and I can't save her from them? What if I couldn't keep away the nightmares just like Wallace's parents?"

Sensing that Arizona was done Callie took in some air and started what she hoped was the last consoling speech Ari needed for a while. "But don't you remember what else happened the night Wallace died? You told me that when Bethany couldn't wish away all of Wallace's bad dreams you helped her. You did exactly what she couldn't because you knew how to help. Lucky her she had the amazing, loving, _magical_ Arizona Robbins there for support. And you have to know that when you even _think_ you're going to lose it or fall apart I'll be there for you. It's my job to be there Zo. I promised you 'forever' and I'm not going back on that promise. But you have to trust me, come to me, don't run away when I'm what _you_ need." Arizona smiles. Why hadn't she been leaning on her wife this whole time for support? She tried being strong and distant but wound up doing more harm than good. "Oh yeah! I'm what you need if you're admitting it or not," Callie said with smile seeing her wife's mood lighten. "Calliope Torres has got wisdom coming out the wha-zoo." Then there was laughter, happiness, and the safety they'd lost came floating back down around them. "Don't get me wrong, you're awesome Zo. But if you can't handle something, well that's what marriage is, handling those life changing moments _together._" Arizona just looks at Callie unable to suppress a smile. "I love you too," Arizona says lightly before returning her head to the curve of Callie's neck. With someone so wonderful in her life she could get through anything. Little did the exhausted pair know that they were going to need each now more than ever…

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**Bam! New and extended chapter. This one's a couple pages longer than the others and I managed to work in the mature content I had promised earlier. After I wrote my one shot it came a lot easier. Let me hear it! You all as nervous as I am about the adventures yet to come? Review and let me know what you're thinking. Peace!**


	4. That's Called 'Ego'

**Ok so I have so much free time. I'm like writing at rocket speed and hope it's not at the expense of quality. I wrote this chapter and the next one all at once so I feel like I'll be spoiling you all with these super fast updates… any complaints? Didn't think so. Love the reviews and support thank you, keep it up please. I have a whole list of ideas for this story so I'm in it for the long haul.**

**I don't own anything, Grey's Anatomy and its characters are the result of the lovely Shonda Rhimes.**

**Enjoy**

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Rushing around the hospital room they practically lived in, Sofia's parents tried to get ready for work and still lend some attention to the tyke. Each parent could barely afford to even give 40% of their morning time to entertaining the little girl. All in all Sofia was getting about 120%, more than most kids, but much less than her guardians had to offer. She sat with a pout as they shuffled around hardly glancing her way.

_Excuse me, watch it, OW, I'm sorry, hand me that, back up, come here, have you seen my… oh I found it, yeah babe, here you go, kisses, hugs, I love you, hugs, more kisses, good byes_… and the mothers were off. They'd done their best to talk about cartoons with their girl, let her know she was loved, show some confidence that she'd be going home soon. Only Mark remained after they left, he was the only one who didn't have surgery bright and early. The giddy father didn't mind though. He'd gotten ready for work but wasn't needed for a couple of hours so he wanted to spend some time with Sof. Daddy-daughter times came far and few between so Mark took it when he got it.

"Well now that they're gone we can have some peace," Mark jokes trying to put a smile on Sofia's face. No such luck. He tries asking about Dora the Explorer but Sofia gives him flat one-word answers. She perks up a little at talks of pancakes, but when she's told she can't eat them yet she resorts back to indifference. The desperate father even tries bribing the kid with money. "I'll give you a dollar if you'd just let me get a smile, Sof." Mark eventually sinks as low as to beg the toddler to be happy. But no, her time in the recovery ward had thoroughly irritated the tiny Latina. Her dad forces a smile and tries not to be so pesky. He can only imagine how crappy Sofia feels. She's stuck in a hospital, hooked up to monitors, no solid foods, and nothing really worthwhile for her to do. And even though Mark understands the tiny girl's discontent he can't help but wonder if maybe she just prefers her mothers. Him and Sofia had fun together, it was no doubt she loved her dad, but at the end of their fun she always asked for Callie and Arizona. Mark noticed she had a hard time falling asleep at his place, and she even talked about her moms most of the time they were out. He might have been able to handle second place, but third… third was tough swallow. As he watched Sofia flip through a book his heart sank.

"Sof, let me ask you something," Mark said with an adult tone he usually didn't use with the child. "Who's your favorite? Out of me and your moms, who do like… best?" The little girl looked confused. Her eyes wandered up to the ceiling, down to the floor, then back up at her dad. Mark waited nervously, trying very hard to read Sofia's mind. Sof finally shook her head and said, "I don't wanna pick." Mark's face twisted with disappointment. The whole third place thing was really bugging him and he wasn't satisfied with the non-answer. So he persisted, "but it's okay you know. Like.. who's your favorite cartoon- Dora, or favorite stuffed animal- Walle the bear. So, it's good to have favorites, so you know what you like." Sofia gave him a big pout and folded her arms with anger. Her tiny brow scrunched up as she insisted on not choosing anyone as her favorite. "Come on little goose, help daddy out here," the father insisted. This time Sofia slumped down and threw the covers over her head. "NO!" she said with the blankets muffling her tiny frustrations. Mark let it go. He rubbed her head through the sheets and reminded Sof how much he loved her. He turned the TV on and promised to come see her when he got the chance. He hated to leave daddy-daughter time but this wasn't going so well so he thought it best to get an early start on his day.

Derrick Shepard was Mark's oldest friend for sure. He could talk to the neuro-surgeon about everything. They were both doctors, both dads, both McHotties. It wasn't anything he didn't feel comfortable telling his pal. "Derrick! Let me ask you something. Now, between you and Mer who do you think Zola… well… likes the best?" A smile crept across Shepard's face, as he knew this wasn't really about Zola. "Sofia loves you Mark. How can you not see that?" Sloan nods his head then continues on about his doubts. "She doesn't _like_ me though. I mean she's all about her moms. She can't sleep without them, all she talks about is them, and she spends all her time at their place…" Sloan is waiting for Shepard to jump in and give some words of wisdom but they're slow to come. "She's a girl, it makes sense she wants to be with her moms," Derrick says, though he wasn't sure if he was stating or asking. "What about being daddy's little girl. I thought she'd love me, wouldn't get enough of me. Everyone other woman finds me irresistible," Mark clamors with a grin. "First off she's a tiny woman so it doesn't work like that, and second, she loves you. Just let _her_ decide when she wants to be closer. Right now it's mom time, next month it'll be dad time, don't worry." With that and a pat on the back Derrick leaves his friend to think things over. _Okay so I wait, wait for it to be dad time… whatever the hell dad time is._

Across the hospital Callie was gearing up for a big surgery. A group of parkour athletes decided to push it to the limit and jump a 20 foot gap between two twelve story buildings. Six guys cleared it, but friend number seven dropped down about 130 feet onto a dumpster. If the plastic lid didn't give into his weight he'd be dead. Instead, he had fourteen broken bones, several of which had snapped in multiple places. Worst of all, his femur had a compound fracture threatening to tear his femoral artery. The surgery began with Callie trying to reconstruct the man's clavicle and superior ribs. If she didn't reconstitute his thoracic cage his heart would be too vulnerable for the rest of the surgery. She had Christina Yang scrubbed in to monitor the heart since she'd be working so closely to it. Mostly Yang just watched and more or less daydreamed. Torres was a good enough surgeon to steer clear of any stress triggers so the cardiac specialist wasn't paying much attention. But maybe everyone was a little too sure of themselves because something sent the man's heart into cardiac arrest.

Yang jumped at the sound of the monitor and suddenly felt very panicked. Her mind had been somewhere else so she wasn't prepared to direct the doctors on how to regain a healthy heartbeat. "Yang! Tell us something, we got a guy coding here," Callie said as she pushed down on the heart trying to coax it into beating on its own. Yang fumbled her words as she grabbed two defibrillator paddles and slid them around the heart. "Charge to 400," was the last audible thing Christina said. Before Callie could register that cardio-surgeon had mumbled 'clear', there was a paralyzing pain that shot up her fingers, through her chest, and came crashing down on her head. Everything went quiet, white fog fell over the scene, and her eyes rolled back into her head. "Crap…" Callie grunted just as she lost the ability to stand and fell back onto the OR floor. "Oh my god! Dr. Torres, Callie!" Christina was shocked. She'd just basically electrocuted a surgeon with 4,000 volts of electricity.

Callie was out cold. The surge had caused her own heart to arrest as she lay lifeless on the floor. Her eyelids fluttered and her fingers twitched. Every muscle was scrambling to control the contractions caused by the jolt. Surprisingly the brunette's mind was moving a mile a minute. Maybe the shock had sent her brain into overdrive. She was seeing images of her and Arizona on their wedding day. There were friends and family smiling at the couple as white light was shining all around. Callie could feel how her heart was swelling with joy as she stared into Arizona's dazzling blue orbs. Never before had she seen something as strikingly gorgeous as her wife in that flawless white dress. The flowery headpiece Arizona wore only added to the feeling that Callie was marrying a real, live angel. Everything about the blonde was perfect, even her flaws were perfect. All the things Arizona had to offer Callie desperately needed, and vice versa. Callie could hear so clearly as the two exchanged vows of love and an eternity of commitment. "I do," Callie could hear her wife's words… No really she could hear Zo's voice coming from inside the OR.

Yang checked Callie's pulse and yelled for someone to give her a syringe of epinephrine. "What the hell," Arizona gasped as she stepped into the OR to find her wife unconscious. "You wanna shut up and let me do my job," the cardio-surgeon barked defensively. Christina had no right to be angry, she had just defibrillated a perfectly healthy woman. Still she felt combative and needed the silence to continue as she listened for breathing. "Yeah, I do," Arizona said sarcastically. She had immediately loss her confidence in the junior attending's abilities. Yang plunged a needle into Callie's chest and exhaled in relief as she heard the surgeon take in a lungful of air. "Thank god," Christina said grabbing her heart half expecting it to give out. "Back away Yang, just back away," Callie groaned. She could see dots everywhere and her ears were full of high-pitched ringing. Her body felt like someone had dropped a grand piano on top of her.

Arizona ran over and pulled her wife's head onto her lap. "I come in here to ask about lunch and you're taking a nap," Arizona says jokingly so her voice doesn't crack with worry. Cal manages a smile before she's out again. The blonde wastes no time in getting everyone to help her move Callie out of the OR. They sat her in a chair in the scrub room until someone brought a wheelchair. "Are you crazy," Arizona asks loudly of Christina who decided to follow and make sure Callie was okay. "I called clear…" Yang threw her hands up and shrugged feeling as though it couldn't be all her fault. "She had her hands wrapped around the man's heart. That's something you check for before you pull!" Arizona had zero sympathy or patience for the woman who could have easily killed her wife. There wasn't any more conversation while the pair got Callie checked into a room, set up with monitors and fluids, and waited to see if she'd wake soon. "Ugh, I have a to go," Arizona said after checking her pager. "You. Stay!" she directed as Christina began to rise from her seat. "You landed her here so wait until she wakes up and page me when she does," the blonde flashes a smile that seems weirdly sincere before shifting onto her heels and rolling off. "You're kidding right?" It's too late though. There's no answer and Christina doesn't have much of choice aside from the one that involves waiting. So she slumps back down in her chair and tries using the down time to get some sleep.

Later on Callie is up. She feels light headed but otherwise she's fine. Still Arizona won't let her leave until at least the end of Cal's shift. That way the peds surgeon knows her wife won't try cutting in such a state. Mark walks in carrying an armful of charts so high he can barely see. "Oh thank God." Callie has been so bored in the little room. Her empathy for Sophia had grown exponentially in the few hours she'd been stuck. "Gimme, gimme, gimme," she says with out stretched arms. Usually charts suck but she figured she could pretend that she'd be scrubbing in on the cases that lie within. "The food sucks, nothing's on but soap opera's, and these sheets are itchy," Callie complains as she flips open a chart and looks over it slowly. "I'm going to kill Yang if I ever get the chance." Mark and Arizona glance at each other silently questioning just how serious Calliope is. She's got a big heart but it comes with a hot temper. The two shrug the comment off though. Not even the angriest Callie would take Yang out, they were sort of like friends, maybe. They'd keep Christina far away just in case. Arizona checks the clock and excuses herself to go do rounds.

Once Mark thinks the blonde is out of earshot he takes a seat at the foot of Callie's bed. "Hey! I was…" Callie starts to protest when Mark grabs the chart from her hand. But she stops when she sees a look on Sloan's face that says _I need to ask my best friend something._ "What now? Lexie still doing that teeth thing, because I really can't take any-" Mark interrupts with a heavy sigh. The look of disgust Callie had from the image of a naked Mark and Lexie, turns to a look of worry. "Cal be honest with me. Who's Sofia's favorite parent?" _Is he serious?_ Callie wonders as her eyebrow arches up. She asks for elaboration but Mark just goes on about how much Sophia loves the women more than him. Callie feels bad when she can't help but laugh. "Really Mark? You think she loves any of us more than the others?" The laughing stops when Callie's best friend gives her a very serious look. "You're her dad. You'll always be there ffor stuff that me and Zo can't do. Father-daughter dances, learning to swing a bat, scaring away every guy she looks at. That's all daddy stuff. There's no favorites, we just all fill a role so when she needs us we're there. Okay?" Mark settles for the half answer. Obviously no one else saw things the way he did. No one else thought it was terrible that his baby girl felt no different about her flesh and blood than she did about her extra mom. He knew what he was thinking was terrible so he kept it to himself. Hopefully the feelings wouldn't rear their ugly head later down the road.

Around 10pm Arizona is finishing her last rounds and getting patients settled in for the night. Mark is changing into his sleepwear before he heads back to Sofia's room for another night of sleeping on a cot. Sofia liked having everyone together at night but none of the adults were partial to the tiny quarters. Callie is signing some paper work to discharge herself. She's not about to wait around for Mark or Arizona to get her checked out. Soon all three parents are in Sofia's room chatting the little girl up about the day's events. Callie does her best to explain why her bracelet matched Sofia's as the little girl had so wittily pointed out regarding the hospital tags. Arizona stuck to TV topics, telling her daughter about some of the shows the other kids in the hospital watched. Surprisingly Mark hardly said anything at all and it didn't go unnoticed by Sof. "Daddy are you mad about favorites?" Just like that Callie feels angry words bubbling up inside of her. Mark has the look of a deer caught in headlights, and Ari is thoroughly confused. "Favorites? What's that sweetie?" the blonde inquires, more directed towards the adults than the child.

"Genius here tried to get Sofia to pick a favorite parent," Callie says sassily.

"You did what? What kind of crap is that Mark," Arizona spits out! Her own anger has come out much faster than Callie's. "And what did you expect hear?"

"It's not that big of a deal!" Mark says almost screaming. The tension quickly lifts the parents onto their feet where they continue the amped up conversation.

"Who says it's not? I don't say, Arizona doesn't say," Callie jeers as her wife gives a look of affirmation.

"You two would call it no big deal, because it's you," Mark points at Arizona, "you're the god damned favorite."

Desperately trying not to look happy Arizona answers, "That's just… crazy… I mean she doesn't have a favorite!" Her voice deceives her because there's an air of excitement in it.

"Uh… right… No favorites. And if you wanted to know, we vote first. Everything Sofia related gets a vote. Your rule- Not ours!" Callie manages to unfurl her brow because she refuses to believe that there's a favorite. Maybe Sofia is partial to Ari, who wouldn't be, Ari is bubbly, and bright, and perfectly awesome with kids. So, yeah Sof liked her momma a lot, but not the most, no favorites!

"Screw the rules Cal. I'm not taking a vote on what I get ask my kid about," Mark starts getting angry too. "I needed to know. Even though it's obvious, and ridiculous, I thought maybe I imagined it, but oh no, Robbins is the favorite!"

"Hold on! Why is that ridiculous? So, if the favorite was you or Callie that'd be less ridiculous? What are you trying to say?" Arizona feels attacked and knows what Mark is thinking though he hasn't said it.

"There are no FAVORITES!" Callie yells. But there's no use trying to dominate a conversation between three people trying to mutually raise one kid.

"Yeah, _remember_. There are no favorites," Mark says mocking the blonde's words from earlier. "But give me a break. No one's questioning your place here. We did all the lawyer stuff, your name's all over the place, hell, Carlos even figured out how to get you on the damn birth records. I don't even think that's constitutional, so don't pull that _I'm a real parent_ crap. We know, _I_ know!"

And all at once the conversation has taken a turn for the worst. Most of the hollering that ensues is vastly unrelated to 'favorites'. Instead the adults argue about… everything. They'd been walking on eggshells ever since Sofia got sick and it hadn't done them any good as far as communication went. Each of them were bottling things up.

Arizona still felt like a third wheel when doctors came to discuss Sof's health. She was always addressed last and asked to explain her relation. There was always a double take when her and Sof went out somewhere. Her heart was 100% a parent but her mind struggled with the DNA technicalities of it.

Mark didn't feel too different. His baby girl should be half his. Other parents get half. Half the time, half the authority, half of the love. But no, he was getting a third, and maybe not even that. For so long he wanted a family and this felt like he was getting cheated out of some of it.

Callie had become very frustrated with holding the two co-parents up. She had been the most stable after the surgery and made her self to stand and bear the complaining. Mark constantly wined about fitting Sofia in his life along with Lexie. All the while Arizona seemed to be second-guessing everything she did. She was excruciatingly critical about not seeming weak, or frazzled, or crazy. So Callie grit her teeth a listened, day in and day out.

So the trio stood, waving their hands around, pointing fingers, and throwing up accusations left and right. Their voices had reached blood-boiling heights and no one noticed how upset Sofia was becoming. She had cried out a few times for everyone to stop. She whimpered and pleaded that the adults should get along. The little Latina felt smaller than ever as she sat on the bed watching her parents yell, possibly about her. She felt guilty, and sad, and invisible. As the noise peaked Miranda Bailey happened to be walking by. Without hesitation she stopped and stepped into the room. The short surgeon never had any reservations about telling people to keep their personal lives at home. When she was about to tell the parents just that she looked over and saw the weeping child. Sofia sat curled in a ball, eyes squeezed shut, hands over her ears, and tears running down her face. Bailey even thought she could hear the little one whispering _no,no, no_ quietly to herself. _What a mess_ she thought before she sprang into action, "Have you three lost your minds." She shoots them a look of shock and confusing before gesturing towards the distraught five year old. That's when they notice the feeble state their daughter's in.

Reflexively Callie, Arizona, and Mark lunge at Sofia gearing up to apologize and console her. Before they can, Bailey jumps in between them and the girl. "Out," she says forcefully with her finger outstretched towards the door. "All three, out right now," she repeated before the excuses and protests could even come. Like reprimanded teenagers the surgeons filed out the door with heads down and peeved expressions. Bailey sits by Sofia's side and lifts the tiny face up to look at her. Sofia's face is red and full of sadness even as she relaxes. "Dr. Randa, did I make everyone mad? Is it cause I'm still sick, I don't wanna be sick still," the girl says worried as ever. The loving surgeon and mother pulls the child's head in close and hugs her shoulders. She takes a moment before trying to explain, she really doesn't want Sofia to continue on trying to deal with grown-up drama.

"No sweetie. It's not you, it's them. Sometimes when grown-ups are scared or worried they yell so nobody will know. So, your moms and your daddy were yelling because they're scared to lose you, that's all. You, little lady, are great! Sooo…. no more tears ok," Bailey wipes away the moisture from the five year old's face as a smile appears. Miranda can't help but return the beaming expression with a smile of her own. Before she gets up to leave Sofia asks another question, "Dr. Randa, why does everyone wanna know who's favorite?" Bailey shakes her head at the idea of Sof's parents pressuring her to choose. "Well that's called 'ego', but I'll tell you all about that when you're older. I've got to run, but remember no more tears," Miranda says. There's another hug and another smile and she gets up to leave.

Out in the hall the argument went on except with hushed voices and a bit of the blame game. Everyone thought it was everyone else who made Sofia cry. _You said this, you started it, it's your fault to begin with, oh please… spare me! _Callie was just as invested in her own opinion until the thought about what they all had been missing. Sofia was crying because they were arguing and she felt as though she was to blame. Her baby girl felt responsible for so much anger and hostility and Callie could only imagine how it was affecting Sof. "Just shut up," Callie said in a hushed voice still deep in her own thoughts. "Just SHUT UP!" she reiterated much more forcibly. "We are terrible. We're out here pointing fingers when we're _all_ to blame. All three of us, with our insecurities, and big heads, and secrets. Meanwhile Sofia's in there and she thinks we're mad at _her_. Mad because she won't chose when she shouldn't even have too! So just shut up about it because she loves us all, maybe in different ways, but all we should be doing is returning the love the best we know how. Now… just… no more." Callie waves her hands as if to physically swat away the conversation.

First Mark wrinkles his nose and rolls his eyes. Within seconds his mind has come to terms with the brunette's words and he falls back against the wall and slides down. He takes a seat with his legs spread wide while he curses himself for having ever asked about 'favorites'. Arizona followed suit, she slides down onto the tiled floor and pulls her knees into her chest. Maybe she shouldn't have brought up the whole non-biological parent bit. Lastly Callie joins them with her legs crossed feeling more guilt than she's ever had in her whole life. "We're terrible aren't we," Arizona asks with her chin resting on her knees. "No," Mark replies with a hint of exhaustion. "We're addicts. That little girl in there is a like a drug we can't get enough of," Mark continues before Arizona elaborates saying, "crack." "She's a crack baby," Callie contributes. But Arizona's mouth opens a bit and her eyes squint. She thinks for a second then says, "I don't know if that's… Maybe not crack baby. Just addictive." Callie shrugs in agreement with some subtle nods. Crack baby wasn't very endearing after all, but Sofia was most definitely addictive.

When Bailey finally walks out a few minutes later all three parents look up. "Try not to screw it up again, she's calm now, but you three could give even a 5 year old a heart attack." The three surgeons just stare waiting for Bailey to allow them back in. When she waves her hand for them to go they jump up like obedient grade schoolers and rush inside. Miranda shakes her head and struts away mumbling something about _three is a crowd _and _more parents more drama. _They flood Sophia with '_sorry'_s and kisses and '_don't worry'_s. Mark, Callie and Arizona want to reassure her that she doesn't have to pick. "But I do have a favorite… I have a favorite mami, and a favorite daddy, and a favorite momma," Sofia pipes up with a great big smile. "And you're our favorite too, mija," Callie says leaning in first to kiss Sof's forehead. She's followed by Mark, then Arizona. Soon enough the little family settles down for bed. In that moment everyone felt like a favorite… even if it was only temporary. There's a silent agreement amongst the group that for as long as they could manage, there'd be no more talk about 'favorites'… ever!

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**I'm pretty proud of the foreshadowing I worked in here. I like this chapter because it really had three sides to it, one for each parent. Hope you liked it… still accepting and reading and really taking all your reviews seriously. Thanks for the feedback and support. Peace!**


	5. Outside Looking In

**So I put a lot of thought into where to go with this one. People are getting pretty sick of Mark but there's something worth liking… right? Well, thanks to a review from funkyshaz57 on my one shot, I thought we should get to see Mark in true form, sometimes he has good moments and we can't just focus on the bad. Can he stop being self-centered and find his place within the family of four? **

**I don't own anything, Grey's Anatomy and its characters are the result of the lovely Shonda Rhimes**

**Enjoy!**

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Everyone has outdone their selves. It's an exciting day but balloons, and ice cream, and streamers are more appropriate for a birthday than a discharge. Sofia doesn't mind it though. She quite enjoys all the festivities and sugar. It's been over a month that the foursome has been living out of the tiny hospital room. So, in addition to all the visitors and decorations, Callie, Mark and Ari are trying to pack up all their belongings. Getting home was proving to be a big operation. Earlier they had been getting the apartments ready. Since they were shacked up in Seattle Grace the places looked abandoned. Dust everywhere, things scattered about, no food in the fridge, and something smelled strange. But they found it more challenging lugging all there stuff back, than cleaning the desolate home.

"Has anyone seen my lucky socks? I had them last week and now they're gone," Sloan asks as he ducks his head down under the bed. No one is really paying attention to anyone else so he doesn't get any help. Still he announces it loudly when he's found his beloved footwear. He goes to stand up but something catches his eye. "And what's this," he continues pulling a lacy bustier from under the bedside table. He holds it up with a pervy grin knowing it's either Arizona's or Callie's. "Oh god," the brunette gasps. Her eyes get wide with embarrassment before she snatches the lingerie out of the air. She shoots Mark a look that urges him to have a little more discretion in front of Sofia. Apparently, it should have been directed at Arizona. She follows suit by fanning Mark's Play Boy collection out in front of her. "Really Mark?" Arizona chastises the self-proclaimed 'golden boy'. Mark clears his throat and lunges forward trying to grab the magazines. "It's good articles in there. Some really solid journalism," he insists, but no one is buying it. The two women laugh as Sloan shoves the magazines into his bag.

Luckily, Sofia hasn't noticed a thing. Aside from the bowl of ice cream that's distracting her, she's rattling off a list of what she wanted to do with her freedom. "We can go to the carnival, and museum, and to see Toy Story, and ride bikes, and swim, and play soccer, and go to the park, and…and… do everything," she says with enough excitement to lose her breath. Another scoop of ice cream puts her back on track. "Zola went to the carnival, and got cotton candy. We can go today? We can get cotton candy and face paint…" the little girl looks around for someone to tell her yes but her parents aren't sure.

Sloan has a 1pm surgery that keeps getting pushed up, Callie's helping with ER duty since all the residents are getting ready for boards, and that leaves Arizona who's not a fan of large crowds or the outdoors. The three parents look amongst themselves and they all come to the same conclusion, "no." This doesn't sit well with Sofia. She begs, and pleads, and pouts. "But I not sick anymore, and I tired of having no fun," she whines. The tears swelling up in the tiny girl's eyes break Arizona's heart. Her baby had been such a trooper through all of this. Sure there were bad moments but Sof wasn't to blame. It's tough for a five year old to sit around for most of the day, in the same room, eating the same stuff, and knowing her friends were out having fun.

So Arizona broke, she conceded to going to some rinky dink carnival in a park not far from the hospital. If Shepard had gone and didn't hate it, maybe it'd be okay. She couldn't bring herself to say no to Sofia anymore. The tiny girl beamed with joy and practically bounced herself out of the bed. Once everything was packed up and all the paper work was sorted out Sofia was free to go. She had made a full recovery and it was likely that she'd maintain her ability to regulate her metabolism autonomously. She put on her favorite outfit and stuffed her little backpack with all the essentials- crayons, water bottle, Walle the bear, and a stack of coloring books. She hadn't been so excited to do anything since she fell terribly ill that solemn night.

All the little Latina did on the walk home was talk about all the fun she was planning on having. Once her momma and she had dropped of what they had managed to bring home they headed to the Carnival. Sofia actually didn't really know what a carnival was. She saw pictures from Zola's trip, and heard stories of all the fun to be had. But really, her excitement was geared towards discovering a new place, learning something new, being somewhere amazingly unfamiliar. 20 minutes later the two ladies had made it to the park. Enclosed by short temporary fencing was everything Arizona expected and Sofia imagined. Ferris wheels, face painting, rickety roller coasters, and a couple shady clowns. Arizona remembered never going to a theme park as a kid but always visiting traveling carnivals like this one. She grimaced at the sight of all the people. She didn't like crowded public forums much. Then she saw the incredibly big smile on Sophia's face and couldn't hold back one of her own. If Sof was happy then she would just suck it up.

The raven haired girl started bouncing with excitement as she was barely able to wrap her head around all the lights, and sounds, and colors. To her, this was magical. Quickly her excitement overcomes her and she breaks out in a sprint towards the merry-go-round. Sofia loves animals so seeing all the horses, tigers, and bears, draws her in, away from Arizona. "Sofia," the blonde gasped once the little hand slipped away and the girl took off.

She bolted after her overwhelmed tyke until she got within reach and could scoop her up. "Hey," she scolds lightly, "you can't just run away sweetie. I might lose you with all these people around." Sofia looks up apologetically just as Arizona starts to tickle her sides. The tiny Latina squirms in her momma's arms as the blonde jests, "you wouldn't want me to leave with the wrong munchkin, would ya?" The two giggle joyously for a while. Arizona stands Sofia up and walks her over to the merry-go-round. The look on Sof's face is indescribably happy. Her eyes are full of wonder and amazement as she glides around atop a fierce looking tiger. The pair takes the ride around again and again because the little girl insists on trying every animal at least once, and twice for the horses.

Finally Arizona manages to get the girl off the spinning contraption with cotton candy bribery. They make their way around the entire carnival while they share a large pillow of sugar that turns to sticky goo in Sofia's little hand. Of course she has to get her face painted with dainty flowers and twinkling stars. The little girl even wins a game, and for the extra ten dollars Arizona flashes, she walks away with a purple bear three times her size. Soon hunger is growing inside both their stomachs and can no longer be ignored. The blonde hates to eat the crap they're selling but she can tell Sof is getting irritable as her tummy grumbles. So they head to the gritty food cart by the Ferris wheel and the menu is all grease and fat. But Arizona must attend to her angry gut as well as Sof's because it isn't time to leave.

The mother digs around her purse in search of her wallet. Somehow being a mom has made organizing her bags impossible. She sifts through wet wipes, check books, crayons, Teddy Grahams, and all sorts of end and odds. Most precarious is the tangled line of game tickets her and Sofia accumulated in the last hour. She yanks the mass out in hopes of getting a better view into the cluttered abyss. "Here Sof. Hold these for momma for just _one_ sec." Any little task is welcomed by the girl, it always makes her feel very important. She fumbles with the string of tiny yellow slips so she can fold them neatly. And when gush of wind blows ten of them out of her fingers, she's determined to retrieve them.

Though the tickets are floating around sporadically Sofia chases them, her little feet working hard to keep up with the wind. She zigzags here and there and even gets spun around in her pursuit. When she finally snags the tickets from the air she's wearing a grin of accomplishment. But it doesn't take long for her to realize once she looks around that she's really far from the food cart. There are people everywhere but she doesn't she her momma.

"Here! Got it. Jeez, I need to get a bigger purse or something Sof, becau…" The fact that there's no child standing beside her halts Arizona's mind. First her eyes dart around her legs, then she looks up and whips her head side to side. The purple bear that had been tucked under her arm fell to the ground quietly. "Sofia?" Arizona called, then again, and again. When she'd glanced over the immediate area a dozen times her legs suddenly began to run at an alarming pace. Her arms were pumping as hard as her heart and worry and fear sucked the color out of her face. "SOFIA!"

The raven hair girl moves slowly in the direction she thinks she came from. She taps her teeth together nervously, something she gets from Callie, as she makes her way towards… she doesn't really know. She's so scared that her throat only allows a hushed, "momma?" to escape. Most people don't even notice as she looks up at them with eyes full of alarm. Sofia clutches the tickets as if they were keeping her alive and she tries to keep putting one foot in front of the other. There's no holding back as tears start streaming from her face. Now the music seems too loud, the lights too bright, the colors are confusing. As she moves along, her tiny hands shake with fear as she tries to spot Arizona through teary eyes.

"SOFIA?" Ari screams for the hundredth time. When her body can't run anymore she bends over with the feeling that she might vomit. She tries to force air into her lungs but it's more than exhaustion making it hard to breathe. Her mind is racing, trying to figure what to do, when she pulls out her phone to call Callie. "Answer… pick up… come on Cal answer… Damn it!" The blonde doesn't have any more luck with Mark's phone either. Her head is still turning back and forth searching. She feels as if everything around her is spinning uncontrollably while she's frozen, petrified at the idea that maybe someone took Sof. What if she couldn't find her? What if she lost her baby girl? Without thinking her fingers are frantically typing _Cal I need you. Sofia ran off and I can't find her. Please call me. Please!_

The panicked mother stops looking for Sof and starts trying to find anyone who looks in charge. She spots someone wearing a shirt the reads SECURITY in bold white letters. She takes off, oddly able to sprint some more, until she crashes into the giant man. "Please, can you help me, I lost my girl, my daughter, I can't find her," Arizona blurts out while she pants heavily. The man seems unsurprised, kids get lost at the carnival every day no matter what city they were in. He tries to calm Arizona down so he can get a description. "She's ummm… almost 5. Ye high. Long black hair, two pigtails. Adorable… uh, she's got on pink, that's her favorite color… Oh, her shoes have big bows on them. I hate em but she's a stickler for bows." Arizona is stilling gulping up air when she stops and stares at the large man who furls his brow. Maybe, she's talking too much.

"Okay. Do you have a picture? I can split my guys up and have them check some usual places- rides, bathrooms, the pony corral," says the security guard assuringly. Arizona ventures into her purse again until she got hold of her key chain. She pulled off a little plastic square that framed a picture of Sofia. The blonde handed it over anxiously. The man took it and his face immediately turned up with confusion. "This is your kid?" His eyes jabbed at Arizona's heart. _Yes_, Sofia _was_ her kid.

The five year old lost her ability to walk. Her sobs had become more than her newly recovered body could handle. She felt as if she had been lost for days. All she could see were people's waistbands and back pockets. Despite her loud sobbing she still went unnoticed by the carnival patrons. Sofia turned in circles calling for Arizona. "Momma, momma where are you?" She saw a woman with golden hair and for a moment felt hopeful. But when the stranger turned around and there were no calming blue eyes to see Sofia let out a defeated whimper. She stared down at her shoes as she stood trembling with fright. Suddenly she could feel someone standing behind her and her heart jumped a little thinking it was her momma. She spun around and shrilled, "Ahhhhhh."

"You're wasting time. I'm telling you that's my girl, go find her!" Arizona was roaring. Her voice so loud people stopped and took notice. Most were afraid for the man, not her.

"Look lady, if this was your kid we'd go get her and bring her to you. Which I'm sure is what you want. For us to go abduct a little kid for you, freaking sicko. What kind stunt you tryna pull here?" Apparently the man thought Arizona was trying to kidnap Sofia. What in the world? Who comes to a carnival with a picture of a kid they want to kidnap and enlists the help of the security personnel? It was a laughable idea at best.

"I swear to you… if something happens to her because you're standing here talking about a bunch of **crap** instead of looking, I will hurt you. I swear it, and you _will_ cry!" The peds surgeon is fuming. She jabs her finger into the guard's chest as she continues on threatening him.

"Oh really?" The large man grabs Arizona, spins her around, and quickly cuffs her hands together.

"Are you kidding me? What the hell! I lost my _kid_, my baby is _missing_. Go find her!" The blonde thrashes around trying to break free. She can't afford to be dealing with this meathead right now. Sofia is still missing and it's getting dark and she's alone and probably scared.

Before the disgruntled man can argue with the blonde some more, Callie is running towards him. "Hey, what are you doing? Get your hands _off_ her," Callie growls as she pushes the man, moving him much more effectively than expected. She yanks the keys of his waist and un-cuffs Arizona. "Baby, are you okay? Did he hurt you?" Arizona doesn't waste time trying to answer. "Sofia. I can't find her, I looked away for one second, that's all, and she was gone," the blonde says with a shaky voice. Suddenly the panic has turned into unbridled fear. Her body trembles, as she can't help but cry.

"Shit," Callie exclaims. She's having a hard time thinking, she just stands looking at Arizona with eyes wide with worry. She had read the text, came right over when she got out of surgery, she was still in her scrubs. But it hadn't seemed real until she was watching Arizona weep in the midst of a large crowd that was surely scary for Sofia. Then she turns and anger emerges as she gets sight of the security guard who apparently wasn't interested in helping. "What are you doing? Why aren't you looking for my daughter," the brunette yelled. The security guard tries to apologize for the mix up and got his men together to go looking. He had questioned Arizona's relation but Callie and Sofia were practically twins, there was no doubt they shared the same genes. Once the team of guards was off looking Callie focused on Ari who was still crying. She brought her wife into her arms and rubbed her back.

"I lost her Cal, I lost our girl. What if-" Callie shushed her before she can vocalize the worst of their fears. If they stood around worrying if their daughter had been abducted then they couldn't be focused on finding her. "Shhh. It's not your fault. Kids get lost all the time. She's here… somewhere… our munchkin is smart, she's probably somewhere waiting for you to come get her, okay? It's okay. Let's just go look." The warm words soothed Arizona's aching heart. She felt so guilty and like a bad parent. But Callie was right, they had to go look, so she let her wife lead her off in search of Sofia.

An hour later Sofia is still missing. The carnival is big but not that big. Everyone starts to worry that if they don't find her soon then chances are she's gone. "You might want to consider calling the police," the guard insists once he meets back up with the mothers. Arizona starts shaking again. Her heart won't accept what her mind knows. It's probably no way Sofia is still there but she can't give up. Her heart, and soul, and everything, was telling her to keep looking. Sof was still there, by some chance in hell, she was there.

"No… she's here. I… we… we can't go home without her. We can't just file some report and _wait. _No, because she's here…" Callie grabs Arizona's hand and squeezes it trying to calm to her. She knew Arizona was feeling guilty, and maybe this was her fault in some respect, but that didn't change that they were married, and in this together. It would be nice to leave with Sofia and write this off as a bad memory. Unfortunately they'd looked in every bathroom, on every ride, at every game booth… Sofia just wasn't there and they needed to call the authorities so no more time was spent looking uselessly.

"Zo, I know you're upset with yourself and this doesn't seem real. But Sof… s-she isn't here… baby, she's… g-gone," Callie barely manages to say. Her gut told her that maybe Arizona was right, maybe it was still a chance. Her head was telling her no, Sofia had been taken, thrown into some van and was being dragged away… or worse. Terrible things came to mind that sent ice running through her veins. Cold, rigid terror took over. Her breathing got ragged and she might have collapsed if it weren't for Marks voice preceding him to the scene.

"Where is she? I came as soon as I got my phone. Where's Sofia?" When Mark had read the text from Callie back at the hospital he figured since it'd been so long they would have found Sofia by the time he arrived. He even changed out of his scrubs he was so certain. Not once had he thought she might be _really_ gone. Not until no one answered him, instead just looked back drained of hope and resolve.

"She's here right? She's here… Why aren't you still looking, she's here!" God willing the cries of anger and pain Mark was emitting would drown out the idea of someone taking Sofia from him. "Keep looking," the father continued. Before anyone could explain how long it had been, how the crowd was too big, and everywhere had been covered, he was off. Mark galloped through the crowds, bending down every so often to get a more Sofia sized view.

Somehow, by the grace of God, he heard it. Though the carny music was blaring and the people were bustling by, he heard it. He quickly glanced over the area it was coming from but there was no little goose to be seen. Was he going crazy? No, because there it was again and he knew the whimpers were coming from his baby girl. He just couldn't see her. He couldn't hone in on where it was coming from but he knew! "Sofia Robbin Sloan Torres!" Mark yelled. He could have easily been mistaken, had been yelling at nothing, for a girl that'd been snatched away. But he _knew_.

Where Sofia was it was very dark. She sat with her knees to her chest and her head down. The tickets she had so foolishly chased were still in her hands. She tried a few times to leave and look for her momma but she couldn't. So the tiny girl sat and cried. Her tears were all she had to comfort her. In the darkness around her there was no sound. All there was were sobs. Sobs from missing her mami, and daddy, and especially her momma. She was very upset with herself for having left her momma's side. As she started to frown at the thought of running off but his voice caught her off guard. "Sofia Robbin Sloan Torres!" she could hear from her hiding spot. She had been under some counter that was covered with a festive tablecloth. Nobody bothered to check because there were boxes in front of it, but Sofia had wiggled pass them.

Hearing her daddy immediately made Sof feel safe. With newfound confidence she crawled from under the table and stood up on her tippy toes. Craning to see she finally eyed him, "daddy!" Mark shoots around to find a red-eyed Sofia standing about thirty yards away. He runs over and gathers her in his arms. "Sofia. Jesus, where were you?" He's trying to sound strong, like a disappointed parent, but everything in him is just so damn relieved it's no use. "My tickets," she holds up the only thing keeping her strong the last hour and half. "I dropped them… and, and when I look up momma was too far. I tried to find her but it was too many peoples… I-I couldn't see," Sofia explains as she cries, tears falling onto Mark's chest. "Where did you go, why didn't you stay put Sof?" She just shakes her head. When she thought Arizona had found her she turned around to see a white-faced bug-eyed clown towering over her. He was just offering a balloon but his grimy smile and big stature sent Sofia running for safety.

Mark rubs her head as she rests it against his shoulder. He shushes her crying telling her it wasn't her fault and she was okay now. "It's okay, daddy's got you." Rocking in his arms was great and all but Sofia knew she hadn't been good. She knew momma was worried sick and she felt terrible. Mark could feel her little heart racing as she grew more sorrowed by the thought of Arizona being sad and angry with her. "Where's momma? I want momma," she says in between tears. And as if Arizona could here her she was there. Her and Callie had heard Mark scream Sofia's name but they were so far they couldn't tell if he had found her or where he even was. When they found him standing with the girl curled up against his chest they felt a world of weight lift away. Arizona resorted back to the day's theme of running like mad men and sped towards the daddy-daughter pair.

"Momma. I sorry… I sorry I ran… I got scared. Don't be mad, don't take another munchkin home, please." Sofia was already trying to get free of Mark's hold so it wasn't anything for Arizona to sweep her away. "No, no baby girl. It's my fault, I should have never taken my eyes off you. Never again, I promise. Momma loves you so much munchkin… never again." The way Sofia clung to Arizona's neck, breathing little sighs of relief and comfort, broke Marks heart a little. All the feelings he was trying not to bring up a month ago were fighting to get out. Here it was again, one third.

"You could have gotten her kidnapped. Or killed, or…" the reality is to much to put in words. A surge of anger pushes the thought away as Sloan continues, "give her here. You've done enough _parenting_ today." He puts his hands on Sofia's back but all at once the girl cries no and Arizona jerks away.

"She's fine, right here, with me… so just… shut up! Kids get lost, and she's fine," Arizona asserts angry as can be, but her voice still shaky and laced with reprieve.

"You know what, NO! You don't get to lose her, to let her run off somewhere, sit in the dark crying, and still be the favorite." Curse words are harsh, and there are some things that rub people the wrong way, hold a bad connotation, but to this family 'favorite' had become a sinful term. Arizona turned to Mark with rage rising up from her chest, into her face. Callie stepped between them and looked the blonde squarely in the eyes. Her brown orbs begged for Arizona to let it go, let Mark be Mark, and spare Sofia more stress than she's already had.

"I hope you know how ridiculous you are. How crazy it is to be mad at her for loving me. If I was first… or dead last, your problem isn't with my place. It's with yours. You think I'm in the way, just dead weight. Well NO! I'm not dead weight I'm her _mother_… her momma. I bathe her, and read to her, buy her medicine, kiss her scars, take her to dance. Just like you and Callie, I'm her parent. So stop acting like a stingy child just because she loves me, she _should_." The words spill out of Arizona as she addresses the father over Callie's shoulder. She didn't really know why Mark was so uptight until she said it out loud. And strangely it made her feel better. Saying it to the man who was most uncomfortable with it, telling him she was Sofia's mother, made all her insecurities about it kind of flutter away. She turned away from his judgmental eyes and rocked Sofia softly.

Callie is about to try and calm Mark down, tell him to get his head out his ass when the security guard approaches the foursome. "I'm glad you got the kid but you all should go," he says with an annoyed look. He hadn't forgotten about the aggressive threats from the blonde a few hours ago.

"Whatever, you're lucky we don't sue your ass for assault. And, for being the worst freaking security ever," the protective mother sneers. Callie interjects and demands that the guy give his name because she too felt as if he had wrongfully put his hands on her wife. But the guard didn't see any fault on his part.

"I ain't giving you a thing. Yous are gonna to leave here, and take that crazy bitch with you," he says smugly. Callie lunges at him, surely she would have taken his head off for calling Arizona that, but Mark pulled her back and pushed her towards Ari and Sofia.

"Hey! That's my kid's mothers, you don't yell, and you don't call her bitch," Mark exclaims first gesturing to Callie and then Zo. "Maybe she would have been ok had you done your job! And you ought to be glad I did it for you, because if I lost my Sofia, you would have lost your life. Now give us your damn name so we can go and I can take my girls home!" Though Sloan was extremely smaller than the muscular man the look in his eyes were enough to persuade the guard to listen. The suddenly very protective father snatched up the man's card and walked away towards the ladies. For a moment the women just stared, taken aback by Marks chivalry. The scowl he had melted away a glanced between the three beauties. He put his arm around Callie's shoulder and kissed her temple. She smiled at the warmth and how Mark stood up for her, Sofia, and Ari.

He looked to his other side and grabbed Arizona's hand. He laced his fingers through her's and gave a gentle squeeze. After what the blonde said and seeing that guy aggress her, right in front of Sofia who loved her so much, it all clicked. He _was_ angry that Sofia loved Arizona, and that _was_ completely ridiculous. How could he be mad that his pride and joy had fallen in love with her momma? Wasn't that the dream? Arizona was going to be around forever, so better that Sofia wants her there unconditionally. He'd been a jerk for almost five years, even before Sof was born he resented her and Ari's relationship. But right then he realized it was all very unimportant. He had three beautiful, happy, healthy girls and only a crazy man would turn away from that. "Let's go home," he said to the woman cradling the girl who had his heart. Arizona smiled a bit and happily obliged. They walked home in silence, nothing needed to be said so they just let the moment last… God willing this happiness would never end.

* * *

**Awwwwwww. Ok so I got mushy on this one. It was high time Mark got his act together and I love writing about Sofia. If you're waiting on a chapter that has a stronger Callie theme, hold tight, it's coming. Let me know how you liked this chapter, or hated it, or especially LOVED it. It's all appreciated really. Thanks to everyone who's following and reviewing, the comments help with my direction and everything else is truly motivational. Peace!**


	6. Getting Lost Part One

**A/N: I'm pretty excited about how accurate the med stuff in this chapter is (tooting my own horn a bit).  
**

**I put a lot into this one and that's why the update took longer than the others. I thank everyone who commented on the SL because the reviews really fueled how I shaped this chapter. This is a part one because the next two chapters will be one big moment, and will both be longer. I hope you all like it. I meant for it to keep you all invested and keep the tension up so I wasn't writing all fluff. So, without further ado…**

**I don't own anything, Grey's Anatomy and its characters are the result of the lovely Shonda Rhimes.**

**Enjoy!**

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_**Callie's POV**_

_Shit! Shit, shit, shit! What are you doing? Leave… just get up and leave. You have a wife. A loving, caring, gorgeous wife. And a baby. Go home…because you've got Arizona, and Sofia… and Mark… and secrets, and stress, and things we sweep under the rug so no one has to deal. That's what's at home. _

_Shit, no, focus! You are in love. You are madly, deeply in love with the most amazing woman in the world. Get the hell up! Why can't I get up? Why can't I leave? God please make me leave. I need to leave before… please, help me leave. _

_Ok just breathe. Breathe, and count. Counting helps. It'll clear my mind and then I'll get up and go…_

_12, 11, 10…_

* * *

A hospital is meant to be a place of healing. A hospital is where people come to get better, recapture life, start anew. Hospitals are supposed to be good for your health. Unless of course you work in one. Then the hospital is home to all the things that make you sick. For Callie, Seattle Grace had become a war zone. There were battles to be fought, trails to be blazed, and causalities to be loss. She was a soldier on the frontline, in the thick of things, once she stepped foot into the building. And to make things worse, she had patients to deal with too.

The war that was waging wasn't between life and death. It was between Arizona and Mark, again. Always tit for tat, mine against yours, and never any compromise. Callie wondered how she loved two people who were so terribly incompatible. Nothing came easy when decisions needed to be made. Neither Ari nor Mark felt the need to bend. It was one way or no way. And that's how it was for everything. When Sofia was potty training they spent two weeks debating on a brand of pull-ups. Then on Sof's third birthday it was a huge argument about the theme, Dora or princess. Choosing a toothbrush for her first teeth, gummy vitamins or chewables, soccer or dance. No matter how big or small Arizona had a favorite and it was never the same as Mark's. Inevitably Callie had to choose, but not before she was _thoroughly_ propositioned by both parties.

Now it was getting close to enrollment time for Kindergarten and Sofia would be starting school in the fall. If life were easy there would have been one perfect school. One perfect choice that no one could deny. Sadly, life is far from perfect and there were two schools, which was just enough for World War III to break out. So on top of surgeries and consults, on top of raising a kid and being married, Callie Torres had to navigate another war.

"Cal! I'm glad I caught you. I was strolling around yesterday and happened to walk past Bright Star and it's perfect. Seriously, there's a playground made for Godly children, windows everywhere, smiling faces. Did you read the brochure? Even _it_ is incredible. It's like reading a Dickens's novel. Sofia should be there in the fall." The ortho surgeon had been avoiding Mark and Arizona to evade all the sales pitches but Sloan had found her. Bright Star Elementary Learning Center was Mark's choice. It was close to the hospital, known for artistic development, and public. There was no tuition for "finger painting and glitter glue" as Mark put it. Arizona wanted Sof to go to Seattle Developmental Academy for Children. It was 5 minutes further, extremely competitive, but regarded as the best elementary education in the country. And of course, it came with a sizable price tag.

Callie did her best not to hear her friend. She was consulting two spinal reconstructions, and had a team prepping for a knee replacement. She was more than busy, and tired of all the convincing.

"Mark, I don't have time for this right now. I haven't seen either school so I don't know," Cal said, her voice brimming with annoyance and frustration. Sloan opened his mouth to continue anyway but the brunette's pager saved her. "See! I'm busy. We can talk about it at home, _okay_?" There wasn't really any other choice so Mark shot her a frown and turned on his heels towards plastics.

Callie rushed to the 911 page from peds instinctively. For a surgeon 911 jump-starts the 'do now, think later' instinct so Cal didn't make much of it. But when she got to peds the 911 was more like a 411. Arizona was working up a kid who needed a splenectomy, which was no big deal. She paged Callie to consult on the kid's dislocated shoulder, which was _less_ than no big deal, even an intern could have worked the case up.

"_Arizona_," was all Callie could say as she looked at her wife with disbelief. "You paged 911 for this? I'm double booked all day, get an intern." The brunette made a move to leave but Arizona put on her biggest pout and pleaded her name, "Calliope." Cal stopped and waited, knowing good and well what was coming.

"I know Mark talked to you about Bright Star. It's a good school, no doubt. But Seattle Developmental is the best. The absolute best, and I think Sofia deserves the best. She's really too smart for public school, she'll get bored, act out, it's a terrible idea!" Callie interrupted Arizona's rant with an indifferent stare. She told her wife the same thing she'd told her best friend earlier, which was the truth. Her schedule was ridiculously crowded and she needed to focus. Sofia stuff would have to wait until dinner.

* * *

_9, 8…_

* * *

When the ortho surgeon did make it to the OR all the stress had begun to make her feel sick. Callie figured she just needed some coffee and a little down time. She started making progress removing the three most superior thoracic vertebrae of the patient's spine. Instead of fusing the tissue together she opted to replace the bone with low-density fiberbionic casts. It was a high risk of damaging the spinal cord but the patient was experiencing so much pain from the spinal abnormalities that he opted for the reconstruction. "I need a ten blade… someone suction here. Okay, the fibrocartilage is out, T3 is detached, let's get the last cast in. I need a spinal punch. Simmons, place the forceps here… What!" A monitor started sounding off. Callie was almost done but something was happening.

"He's seizing," someone reported from the neurowave monitor. "How is he seizing right now? Ok, let's move these clamps and get him on Phenobarbital and someone page Meredith Grey." The shrill of the monitor continued, and like a chorus, several others joined in. "His BP is dropping," someone shouted. Callie was planning for this to be a slam-dunk surgery. She needed all the big operations she could get to booster her campaign for Head of Orthopedics. She couldn't afford to lose him. Under the Latina's direction the doctors scrambled to stabilize the man. One of the ventral nerves was pinched and his brain was experiencing rapid electrical firing. Callie struggled finding where the source of the pressure was and couldn't get there before his heart started to fail. Grey had rushed to the OR but by the time she got there it was too late. He was gone. Torres knew then her day wasn't going to get any better.

Sometimes the only thing that can take Cal's mind off of a bad case is Sofia. She'd stand outside the day care and watch her play. The little girl looked so much like she did when she was young. It was something infinitely calming about how innocent Sof still was. All the things she hadn't learned, the places she hadn't been, and all the joy she had from not knowing about death and heartache. Today was one of those days where Callie Torres needed to see her girl just to be reminded of how precious life is. When she got to the day care she was pleasantly surprised to see Arizona had beat her to it. She peered through the glass and contently watched as the blonde sat in a big chair with Sofia curled up on her lap sleep. It was apparently naptime and the peds surgeon was always the only one who could get a restless Sofia to sleep.

Being a surgeon was stressful. Losing patients takes its toll on a person's sanity. But seeing her girls in the daycare reassured Callie of why she does it. It was for them that she dealt with it all, sacrificed her time and energy to help others. Before Zo and Sof, she did it for the rush. Now, she did it because her family gave her new purpose.

Callie stayed for a long time enjoying the view. And even though the sight warmed her heart her mind was not in a happy place. She was becoming consumed with all the stress in her life. She was so tired of Arizona and Mark bickering. It had gotten to the point of being childish. When Sof was younger the two of them were becoming friends but every parental decision pushed them further apart.

And Callie was still scared for Sofia's health. It seemed like Arizona got her moment, Mark broke down once, but Cal never let it out. She was busy being strong for Zo and playing referee. Her first thought in a time like this would be to turn to her wife, or best friend, but neither was in a place to help. Instead she was helping them. She had no one to talk to.

Certainly work had been no sort of relief. The ortho specialist was swamped with paper work trying to get the position as department head, had a constant stream of surgeries, and had lost four patients in four weeks. To an ortho surgeon those numbers were especially disheartening. Callie did incredible things with the skeletal system. She made limbs out of nothing and it was miraculous. But she wasn't elbow deep in patients' chests, or brains, or any major organs. Her job was to skate around those things, saw stuff, and build structures where there were none. She saw it as unacceptable to be losing cases regularly. And the person meant to tell her otherwise, and restore her confidence, was fiercely wrapped up in her own problems.

What was keeping Callie from falling apart was a numbness growing inside her. Four failed surgeries and yet she felt nothing other than anger. There was no sadness or sympathy. All she thought of was how she could have made better decisions, been more precise, been a better surgeon. Her emotions were eerily calculated and it actually scared her how little she could feel. So, even in the presence of her favorite girls she felt dark inside.

* * *

_7, 6…_

* * *

"It's $6,000 a year for nothing. She's not taking genetics, she's learning her ABCs."

"See that's why she needs to be at Seattle Developmental. Sof knows her ABCs, don't you munchkin?" The little girl nods happily at her momma's accolades.

"So let her go to Bright Star, she'll graduate Magna Cum Laude," Mark replied sarcastically. Callie had promised to hear their points about which school to pick once everyone got home. So, dinner turned into a full-scale debate.

"_Very funny_. I'm taking this seriously Mark. She deserves the best and the best is Seattle Developmental," Arizona said firmly as if that'd be the end.

"No, that's the school they say is the best. It's just a big name to slap on her junior high entrance exam. She'd get the same education at Bright Star, but for free!"

"Sometimes it's not _what_ you know, it's _who_ you know," Arizona says confidently. It was no convincing a Johns Hopkins graduate that names didn't matter. With such a highly regarded institution like that, name was half the reason no one turned Johns Hopkins alumni down for a job.

And the back and forth continued until both parents felt they'd made their case. They hadn't noticed how Callie was much more involved in talking to and joking with Sofia the whole time. "Calliope, are you listening?" Callie slowly looked back at the co-parents knowing she'd been caught not paying attention. Her face slowly showed signs of fatigue and discontent with the pair.

"We haven't been to either one guys. No one has met the principals, the teachers, the students. They could be terrible places and you two are ready to ship her off based on brochures and playgrounds," Callie said sharply. Anger had made its way into her tone by the end of the reply. Calliope's aggression wasn't solely due to the Kindergarten problems. As a whole she was dealing with more than she could handle. There was a terrible feeling that her life was slipping away, particularly her wife. Ari was so caught up in Sofia stuff, and work stuff, and 'Mark's an asshole' stuff that there was no time for marriage. It was understandable, Callie figured, but the feeling she had was unnerving. It made her angry and sad, and had her wanting for more. More closeness, more understanding, more sex… just more. The last month had been terrible and she felt trapped in her own head. The brunette wondered why her wife couldn't see. Why wasn't Arizona there, now that Callie needed her?

"All I'm saying is, as your wife I strongly encourage you to vote Seattle Developmental. I think any other vote might jeopardize us and our…" Arizona looked coyly at Sofia and decided to be discrete, "pound cake." The blonde raised an eyebrow, as she looked into Cal's eyes with hopes of being enticing. But Callie's mood was far too serious for jesting and sex threats. Instead of submitting she turned her face up at the notion.

"What pound cake," Callie asked with a bit of frustration.

"You _know_. _Pound cake_, pound cake," Arizona answered still trying to be seductive and silly. She stepped towards the brunette and put her arms around her waist and looked her into her chocolate brown eyes. The cold stare she got in return let her know how terribly uneasy Calliope was. Arizona pursed her lips and nodded in realization that Callie _knew_ what she was insinuating and was dropping a hint of her own. Mark notices the tension that falls over the room and breaks the silence.

"All right! Well little goose, let's get ready to go." His suggestion sent tiny Sofia running for her bags while he and the ladies cleared the plates from dinner. It was an incredibly tight silence that lasted until Mark and Sof left.

"You want to tell me what's wrong," Arizona finally asked of Callie while the Latina stared at her third beer. There was no answer so she approached her once more this time laying a soft hand on her cheek. "I can't help if you don't let me in Calliope." Arizona's baby blues searched the dark brown orbs for an answer but all she saw was endless vacuity.

Having the blonde's eyes locked with her's made Callie feel a little better. She sighed away some of her anxiety and put on a tight smile. "I think I just need some sleep baby. I feel… exhausted," she said. She didn't have the energy to try and explain to Arizona tonight. It would be a big huge thing and she had surgery early in the morning. Tomorrow she would try and find some release. Tonight, she needed nothing more than to rest.

Arizona nodded understandably and kissed Callie's forehead. "How about I put you down for bed then," she added with a soft smile. Cal replied with a chaste kiss and they left the kitchen behind, along with the ticking time bomb inside her head.

Without Sofia, getting ready for bed was considerably easier. Quick showers, set alarms, comfy clothes and that was all. As the women lay in the bed pressed against each other tightly both knew the other was awake. Arizona could feel how taut Callie's fingers were gripping her own. It even seemed as though the brunette was trembling. She turned over the look Calliope in the eyes and what she saw was something between fear, pain, and anger. The look was alarming. All the blonde could think to do was kiss her wife, deeply, and reassuringly. Callie wouldn't tell her what was wrong so there were no words to help. After a quick hesitation Callie kissed Arizona back desperately wanting to forget everything going on in her mind.

Lust and desire set fire to Callie's body as Arizona slid her hands between her legs. The sensation was all too familiar yet void of what mattered most. Callie would always be aroused with Arizona so close but there was another feeling usually. A feeling of insatiable love, a need to worship her wife, to express how deeply in love she was. But her mental state kept all those feelings from coming. She moaned at the presence of Arizona inside of her, but there was nothing more than heat building in her core. She crashed her lips into Zo's, forcing her tongue onto the blonde's, frantically trying to find what was missing. If her heart wasn't racing in time with Arizona's deep thrusting she might have cried. Callie's jagged breaths sounded like pleasure, almost felt like pleasure, but were surely the result of pain. Pain she was experiencing from not having all of her wife. The blue eyed woman was there, she was more than there, but Callie couldn't feel her beyond her hands caressing her soaked sex.

After the brunette's orgasm raged through her body she moved onto her back and stared at the ceiling, panting wildly. Arizona sat up on her elbow and looked over her stunning wife with more worry than she had all night. "Where are you," she asked nervously, knowing that Callie wasn't all there. Though Callie didn't want to worry about all the crap going on that night she couldn't help but answer, "I don't know."

* * *

_5, 4…_

* * *

It had been another strenuous day at SGMW for the orthopedic surgeon. Today she had an 18 year old football player lose a leg and have the other tibia replaced. He would walk again but never play the game he loved. It seemed that every day was long and tiring. Callie wondered if she was legitimately slipping into a depression. It was definitely possible, especially in comparison to her always chipper wife. When Cal got home Arizona was in the kitchen chatting Sofia up about some miracle surgery she pulled off.

"Do you know what an artificial lung is? It has a tiny computer in it that makes it move just like your other lung. And momma put one in for Jacob and now he can breathe better than any other kid in the whole hospital," Arizona said to a big eyed Sofia. Naturally the little one requested a robot lung of her own but was quickly turned off by the idea of having to lose one of the ones she had. When Arizona noticed Callie come in she instantly included her in the conversation. "I thought I was going to lose a kid today because he needed a lung transplant, but I got emergency FDA approval for an artificial lung and rocked the surgery. I might even take him off the donor list," Arizona said cheerily with an air of self-doting. Cal just nodded her head impressed with the news but still caught in her own problems. "Uh… this is the part where you say how awesome I am," Arizona suggests smiling at the somber Calliope.

"You're awesome Arizona," the brunette replies quickly. She walks over to Sofia and picks her up over her head. "There's my baby girl. I missed you today," Callie says calmly. If only she could always have Sof with her maybe she'd be in a better place emotionally. She rested the girl on her hip while they talked about all types of things, anything really, to keep Callie distracted. Occasionally Arizona would make mention of something and Cal would just brush it off.

"Hey little lady aren't you getting tired?" Arizona knew Sofia would say yes and insist on getting ready for bed. Reluctantly Callie put her girl down and sent her on her way. Arizona was getting impatient with her wife avoiding whatever it was that had her so spaced out.

"Calliope I have tried to give you space, wait for you to come to me with whatever is going on, but you're acting like I did something wrong and that's not fair," the blonde started. Though she was feeling upset she was still concerned.

"Zo, I'm trying to work through a lot of stuff right now. I got Hunt over my shoulder every second for this promotion, Sofia never wants to sit still, you and Mark are at each other's throat. I'm just… just trying to deal. It's tough," Callie replied. Though she was being honest, what she admitted to was really only the surface of much deeper turmoil. All those things, and more, had pushed her to a place where she was just going through the motions. It was as if she was outside of herself, wanting to reconnect, but unable to get back.

"So now you _deal_ all on your own. Callie, we don't get to deal our own. This is a 'me and you' thing. When I'm a crazy woman you bring me back. When you're freaking out I calm you down. That's how this works, that's how this goes, and you don't get to change the rules. No dealing by yourself." Arizona was hardly breathing in between words because she was becoming angry that Callie was hiding things.

"I'm not changing the rules Arizona. But rules go out the window when the game changes. Nothing was as scary as Sofia being sick, I wasn't ready, you weren't ready, _we_ were not ready. And I'm trying to help get us back to normal and it's breaking me. I'm losing it. I've been losing it for weeks but you've got your head so far down with the peds ward I don't think you've noticed." Callie ended with more intensity than she planned. She did feel Arizona was distracted from their relationship but never intended on blaming her for it, or even bringing it up. It just came out. And before she could even scold herself for slipping up Arizona's face turned red hot.

"Right, it's my fault. I should have known better than to let you be strong for us. I should have forced you to talk about it weeks ago when you kept insisting that all you wanted was for me to get focused on peds again. My apologies, Calliope. I didn't realize you were just pretending to care in order to hide your own fear. I let you in, when Sofia got sick, I caved. No one expected you to be all stoic and fearless. We were all a mess, we would have helped each other. _You_ made the decision to put this all on your shoulders, not me!" Arizona felt attacked. She had wondered how Callie was getting through it all without once seeing her break down after the surgery. Maybe she was so impressed by her wife that she wanted to believe it was okay. It was honorable that Cal was dependable and unwavering. But now that the ortho surgeon was losing it Arizona felt angry with her for not being more vulnerable, and angry with herself for not questioning things more.

"No Arizona I'm not saying it's your fault. It's no one's fault. I just wanted to be there for you because you needed me, and I thought you would be there for me but… I don't know. We're here, I see you, but it's something wrong," Callie said with tears swelling in her eyes. "This wouldn't have happened a year ago. If you were sad I could feel it, Zo. And I know you could too because you knew what to say to cheer me up before I knew what was wrong. And… and I don't know what's happening now…" And the tears fell. Arizona's face no longer had anger, but sadness. She didn't think that the whole ordeal with Sof had changed their relationship the way Callie was saying. She just stared as Callie cried silently, refusing to look up. Arizona's mouth opened and closed but her throat shut, keeping any words from coming. Then Sofia's voice rang out from the bedroom asking for help. Since both women knew Callie was in no place to go Arizona made her way towards the hall.

"I… I gotta go. I'll be back," Callie muttered as she moved off the bar stool and grabbed her keys. Before Arizona could ask where she was going the door slammed shut. The blonde took in a deep breath and closed her eyes. She tried to tell herself it was okay. Cal was upset but things would blow over in time. She didn't want Sofia to sense how rattled she was. She shook her head forcefully trying to push away her concerns. Right now she had to be a mom, later she'd figure out how to reassume her role as a wife.

* * *

_3…_

* * *

Callie walked into Joe's and took a seat at the bar. Joe could tell from the look on her face that it might be a long night. She ordered a rum and coke, then a shot of whiskey, and another one of those. Before long she was laughing at herself sinisterly. It seemed painfully amusing that she had left the house after such a rough conversation with Arizona. If she was more herself there would have been no way that she would have left. She would have stayed, and explained herself, and let Arizona talk her off the ledge. Instead, she was sitting on the ledge with her legs hanging over it. Alcohol wasn't doing anything to help her deal with her problems.

Somewhere around the bottom of her third rum and coke Mark walked tentatively into the bar. His eyes glanced around until he spotted his friend circling the rim of her glass. Callie looked terrible, and not because she was disheveled, but because her gaze was blank and her eyes were uneasy. He cleared his throat as he approached to make his presence known. Callie looked up at him, and his worried expression, and huffed at the sight. Surely Arizona had sent him to bring her home.

"Torres, what are you doing here? I'll take the kid tonight, so you should be home having dirty lesbian sex with you wife," he said lightly, hoping to get at least a smile. The brunette just cut her eyes at him with a sideways glance. She tipped her glass at Joe signaling for another before inhaling what was left.

"Right. Sex would be great, but we don't sex now a days, _Mark_." She said his name with a stinging tone that made Sloan wince. If Callie wasn't feisty enough the alcohol surely made for a hotheaded Latina. In the couple of hours she'd been at Joe's she came to the heartbreaking realization that she was blaming the wrong person.

"Cal, Arizona is worried. She thinks you're mad at her. Let's just go home, you can tell me about, we'll work it out." Mark looked at his best friend with a warm expression trying to convey that he was there to support her. He placed his hand on her back but she retracted. Callie found herself biting aggressively on the inside of her lip.

Noticing how tense the brunette was Mark turned to face her and said as strongly as he could, "I'm your friend, I'm your best friend Callie. If you can't tell me, or Arizona, who are you gonna tell. Don't let this break you, whatever it is, tell me. I'm here and… you should tell me, so I can help." At that moment Callie couldn't let the anger fester any longer. She couldn't keep to herself what she finally understood as the problem.

The enraged woman turned to look Mark eye to eye and felt no desire to hold back. "Friend? You call yourself my friend? No, what you've been for God knows how long, _is a problem_. Arizona, _my wife_, is the most important person in my life and you make it so hard for us to be happy. So freaking difficult to just be… be parents, be in love, be at peace!" Mark tries to interrupt but Callie closes her eyes and raises a hand. She sucks in a breath to tame her aggression but the words storm out.

"You tease, and argue, and attack her. And for what? For being the one person who understands me, loves me unconditionally. Or because Sofia loves her… Sofia loves her so much and it eats you up inside because you're selfish. You've always been selfish Mark, and I've loved you all the same, but your selfishness and insecurities are ruining my marriage. Ruining me, because somehow I blame Arizona for being distant. I blamed her for withdrawing, struggling to deal, for doing what she has to do to put up with you." Mark's expression is one Callie's never seen. His eyes roam her features only to find that she's being as honest as ever before. He feels hurt, and ashamed, and even angry. He couldn't figure out if he really was that toxic or if Callie was blowing things out of proportion. "That's not fair Cal," he said sheepishly, not knowing what he meant entirely.

"Not fair? It's not fair… right, ok. You know, it's not all your fault. I've been letting it happen. I sit and watch you chastise her, and joke about our sex life, and be possessive with Sofia. And I'm such an idiot for leaving her out there. I don't even deserve her! I don't deserve Arizona and I don't deserve a total ass for a friend." Callie had been yelling mostly but her last words trailed off. What was she saying? Was she asking Mark to not be her friend? Her mind was moving a mile a minute and she truly wasn't sure what she meant.

"I know I come on strong, I'm not perfect by any means, but I love Sofia, and you, and hell even Arizona. I don't wanna be the bad guy here. Tell me how to fix it. If I messed it up tell me how to make it better," Mark pleaded. His face had gone terribly red and he tried to swallow his tears but they threatened to fall anyway. Callie and Sofia were his only family and he couldn't stand to lose them. He couldn't live with himself if he was causing them pain.

"Just leave. Just go, because at this point I don't think there's anything you can do. You've done quite enough already, Mark," Callie said exhausted from screaming. She took down half of the fresh drink Joe had silently brought over. As she slammed the glass down Mark stood up to go. "I'm sorry Cal, I… I didn't mean to…" his words were cut off by the look in Callie's eyes as she faced him. She looked disgusted, miserable, defeated. The guilt that swelled in Marks stomach forced him to back away. With his head down he slowly left the bar, feeling worse than he'd ever thought possible. He was in love with Lexie but it was Callie and Sofia who meant the most to him. And he had let them down, he wasn't the dad he was supposed to be, the dad he wanted to be. Mark had let his insecurities and his needs come between him and his family. Knowing that, feeling how terrible that was, broke his heart.

* * *

_2…_

* * *

Callie stayed long after Mark left. It was getting late, and she was sure Arizona was worried. Her phone had died hours ago so she just shrugged off the idea of her concerned wife, in her drunken stupor. The rum had turned into whiskey, that turned into tequila, that turned into a blissfully dazed ortho surgeon. The repugnant amount of liquor had successfully blurred her perception of the mess her life was in. She was telling Joe all about her terrible surgeries and laughing at how "zombie-ish" she had become. Sensing that Callie was way out of it Joe stopped serving her, much to the brunette's disliking. Still she sat, talking to Joe, to herself, to no one at all. Rambling on about being "so stupid" and allowing her life to get so messed up in such a short amount of time.

It was about an hour before closing when Joe gave Callie a tense smile. "Aye, Dr. Torres, I loves ya but… we're closing up here soon. You want me to call Arizona, get you home safe," he said gently not wanting to reignite Callie's anger. She let her head sway back and forth gesturing no. "Nope. I'll… I will just… wait a feeeew more minutes. A few more and I'll be good. G-good enough to go back… Back home," Cal replied, her words slurring ever so much. She took in some air and ballooned her mouth out while she held her breath. When she needed air again she unpursed her lips and exhaled quickly. Maybe a little oxygen deprivation would do her brain some good.

Towards the back of the bar there was a group of four women who'd been there since Callie arrived. The surgeon has seen them, and even looked long enough to decide that they weren't from the hospital. They were perfect strangers, and good looking, and young. She actually had made note of how out of place they were. Joe's was usually packed with Seattle Grace personnel and scruffy locals. It was unusual to see hot young chicks hanging out.

And even though Callie had only given them a passing glance or two, they had been watching her intently. The women had made mention of how sexy Callie was, especially yelling at Mark. It was assumed that he was her husband and there was a falling out between them. One thing led to another and somehow three of the ladies had convinced their friend to go talk to the brunette at the bar. Though reluctant, the fourth friend, with sensational green eyes, couldn't turn down a bet. Plus, she did want to go talk to Callie, she found her to be very intriguing and gorgeous.

"Rough night?" she asked as she took a seat next to the down trodden Latina. Callie looked out the corner of her eye not knowing who was talking or if she wanted to respond. When she got sight of those emerald eyes and the inquisitive smile she sat up a little.

"Uh, more like a _terrible_ night," she replied with more animation than she intended.

"I saw your husband leave. You want to tell a stranger about it. Let it all out and never have to worry about it again, we'll probably never see each other after I leave." Oddly the green eyed woman was genuinely concerned.

"Ha! Trust me, all of this going on over here," Callie gestured to her head and empty glasses, "does not make for a pretty story."

"Try me. A beautiful girl like you shouldn't let things get her down," the mystery woman said. There was a glint of allure in her voice that the alcohol drown out, Callie could sense the woman was coming on to her.

"Beautiful? Wow, I-I-I'm flattered, really. But I'm married… but not to Mark, the guy, from before. I have a wife…" Callie looked away from the stranger and tried to figure what butterflies where doing in her stomach at this time of the night. "…and a baby! I… have a baby girl. She's five, almost five, and adorable."

The woman laughed at the way Callie's words stumbled out. "Well…" Callie offered her name, "Callie, those are some lucky ladies you have at home. They're um… lucky to have you." The brunette smiled at the kind words. She enjoyed the feeling of someone thinking she was a good person without even knowing her. "Tell you what. I have to go to the ladies room and when I get back, you tell me why you're here and not at home with your girls. Deal?" Callie shrugged nonchalantly and it was taken as a yes. Though Callie had made it clear that she wasn't available she still felt weird. Clearly the woman was coming on to her. Clearly she should leave, leave before she did something stupid. She tried to convince herself to go, argued about it with herself, she even tried counting. Maybe it was the drinks keeping her seated, or the desire to connect with someone, anyone, but whatever it was, it wasn't any good. Callie really needed to go.

* * *

_1….._

* * *

But she didn't go. Callie waited for the woman to return. Instead of heading home she figured she could handle herself. She would just talk about her problems, let it off her chest, and be done with it. What could it hurt? She hadn't been talking to Arizona, couldn't talk to Mark, Sofia was just a kid. She might as well tell Ms. Anonymous about her woes.

When the woman came back Callie unloaded. She didn't hold back a single detail about how she was scared, and lonely, and a bad wife. She was entirely open about putting up a front, shutting down her feelings, and slowly losing her mind, all in a month's time. The stranger just listened, there was desire in her eyes but Callie ignored it the best she could. When she was done the woman, who's name was Jacey, laid a comforting hand on Callie's shoulder blade. And as the Latina started to feel better she noticed the hand slide down to the small of her back. She turned away from the contact quickly, not at all surprised at the Jacey's advances. She knew it was coming, that's why she had meant to leave.

"Woah, I can't, I told you I'm married," Callie lifted her left hand to flash her wedding ring. Jacey just giggled a little and lifted a brow. "What Arizona doesn't know won't hurt her. _I think_ you could use some fun," the green eyed beauty said quietly. She was clearly not put off by the fact that Callie was in a relationship. All she saw was a gorgeous, sad, and tipsy woman at a bar all alone.

The ortho surgeon knit her brow at the idea of cheating. After George and Izzie she'd never do that to someone she loved, made vows too, promised to care for. It seemed so ridiculous that she laughed out loud. Jacey wasn't deterred though. She took the laughter as an invitation. When Callie finished chuckling and turned to reject Jacey's offer the woman grabbed her face and pulled her into a feverish kiss.

After so many drinks, so many terrible weeks, and so much stress, Callie, for just a second, embraced it, letting Jacey have her way with her tongue. Not a millisecond later her senses caught up to her actions and snapped her out of it. She didn't want this, she loved Arizona more than life itself and wasn't about to betray her. She pushed Jacey back by her shoulders almost knocking her to the ground. "No!" is all Callie could manage as she dragged her fingers over her mouth, trying to undo the kiss with force. "Calm down, you act like your wife will ever know, Jes'!"

But Arizona would know. Things like this lingered in Callie's consciousness. She wouldn't be able to lie about it. She'd get all awkward at random times. It'd surface eventually, and cause all sorts of problems. So no, she wasn't doing this, not by any means because she didn't want to hurt Arizona. Because Arizona _would_ know.

Actually, since the blonde had come to Joe's looking for her wife, Arizona _did_ know…

* * *

**I am soooo sorry to leave it like this (but not really). This is part one of two so you'll have to just keep reading and reviewing to see what happens. I know you all might have a ton of questions, concerns, and ideas, so PLEASE feel free to PM me, leave a review, or whatever. I do my best to get back to people when it's appropriate. Thank you all for the continued support, I hope you liked this cliffhanger and don't hate me too much. Peace!**

**PS. The time it took to write this is much more realistic as far as writing once I'm back in school is concerned. Really it's all very random but I'll try to just be as consistent as possible.  
**


	7. Getting Lost Part Two

**Well… truthfully I was feeling pretty down on myself about this fic. I wasn't happy with what I've done after I went through it again. Felt as if it sucked. But I thought it'd be tragic to just give up on it. Obviously it's liked by some, and it's my baby really. So, I'm going forward with the hopes of making this fic much better. With that said, sorry for the delay, this chapter is super long, and hopefully you like it even though it's more plot and less action.**

**I don't own anything, Grey's Anatomy and its characters are the result of the lovely Shonda Rhimes.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_**Arizona's POV**_

_The door to my bedroom is closed but I know who's standing outside. I don't cry much but I'm crying now. Aside from situations where I feel under someone else's control, I keep a brave face even when I'm upset. Tim can see right through it though. He is never fooled by the tight smiles and stiff giggles. I know I'm not myself and so does he. Tim's my brother, my best friend, and basically my other half. So now he's outside my room knocking lightly on the locked door. _

_"Zo, come on... I know something's wrong. Let me in," Tim says with concern from the hallway. I curl up tighter into my blankets trying to hide from the embarrassment. Today was the last day of high school. I was on my way to college, likely to never see my classmates again, and I decided to pour my heart out in front of everyone. _

_Macy Raleigh was undoubtedly the prettiest girl in school and every guy, plus me, wanted to be with her. Being a Robbins I figured I had the confidence and charm to actually ask her out. It was now, or never, and I didn't plan on living with the 'what ifs'. With our whole class standing in front of the school I waltzed right up to her and confessed how I had a crush on her and wanted to go out sometime. _

_She was sweet enough. Macy wasn't into girls but didn't hold that against me when she turned me down. I did my best to graciously accept the rejection and would have walked away relatively unscathed. Unfortunatel,y some kids overheard our conversation and weren't so diplomatic. Before I knew it a crowd of guys were calling me dyke and laughing furiously. _

_The name-calling didn't bother me much but when some guy got in my face saying I was lesbian and Tim must be a fag, I punched him square in the nose. I was in my car and on my way home before any faculty showed up but I knew I'd get in trouble before graduation. Even worse, everyone would be talking about me, how I was gay, and got turned down by Macy Raleigh. I don't even think I want to go to graduation anymore. I can't face my whole class after today. _

_More knocks come from across the room and I know Tim won't let me wallow in my misery all night. I roll over to face the door and stare at my Cindy Crawford poster. She's gorgeous… and I'm… just okay. I'm just an army brat, who smiles too much, and digs girls like some freak. I'm pretty sure my life sucks._

"_I'm gonna break in if you don't open the door Arizona." I don't know how Tim learned to jimmy my lock but he's become very good at it. I force myself to my feet and slump over to the door, blankets still wrapped around me. I flip the lock and turn around knowing he'll let himself in. My brother never let me go to sleep angry, or sad, or anything except happy. He said a bad mood brought bad dreams, so Tim has been sending me to sleep happy since we were too young to remember. We sit on my bed and just listen to each other breathe. I don't want to talk but I know he won't leave if we don't, so I just ramble on._

"_I asked Macy Raleigh out. She told me no, because she's not a lesbian. Then a bunch of jerks started calling me a dyke, saying you must be a fag, and we were just some big gay family. I punched his lights out right in front of the parking lot. I don't know what I was thinking. I'll probably be banned from graduation, mom and dad are going to kill me, and oh, I'm gay." It all tumbles out with little pause for air or thinking. Tim's eyebrows come together and a smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. For a moment he waits with his mouth agape, then he asks a pretty silly question._

"_Is she hot? The Macy girl. If you're gonna catch hell I hope she's hot," he said with complete sincerity. I couldn't believe that of all the things I said, how I punched some guy, decided I was a lesbian, all he cared about was if Macy was hot._

"_That's it? I just said I'm gay Tim. I like girls, and that's what you want to know?"_

"_So! No guy's good enough for you anyway. And yeah, I'd like to know if she was worth it."_

_I don't know what to say. I know Tim loves me unconditionally but I didn't think he would accept me after I was honest about liking girls. "Um… yeah, she's really pretty..." Tim just smiles and nods. Shortly after he starts to laugh._

"_Zo, you're crazy! But… you got guts." I smile at his compliment. With my brother, there is never any judging, just love. There's more silence until he speaks again. "So… does this mean you're gonna marry a girl?"_

_I think about it for a moment. Marriage isn't a given, but if it happens it'll be with a woman. I smirk a little and confirm Tim's proposal. To that he jumps up and starts pumping his fist in the air._

"_All chick wedding!? I am going to dance so hard!" He bounces on his toes, turning in circles, and I can't help but to laugh. He's a terrible dancer, to say the least, and I know he's flailing around just to cheer me up. It's working. I can't be upset for long when Tim's around. Soon he's pulling me off the bed and twirling me around the room. We laugh together at the sight of our gyrations in the mirror. Thunderous laughter leaves us unable to breath and we fall to the floor, no longer cognizant of the problems we face. _

_After a few minutes of light teasing and joking we make our way back onto the bed. We lay side to side staring at the ceiling talking about nothing in particular. A pause in our conversation lets my mind return to the day's events. The name calling, and the fight didn't seem so bad now. What is bothering me is the thought that maybe I'll never find someone to be with. What if every woman I like turns me down, then what? Being alone my whole life is a scary idea. _

_It's as if Tim can hear me worrying because he suggests, "she's crazy you know?" I turn my head to get a look at him. How could he possibly know what I'm thinking?_

"_Macy Raleigh would be lucky to date you. Any girl would." I huff a breath of disbelief. I know I'm pretty but maybe not the way that attracts women. Again, Tim responds before I can even say a word. "One day you'll find the perfect girl Zo. She'll love everything about you, love you more than anyone else, even me. You just gotta be brave enough to go find her," he says firmly. _

_I grab his arm and hold on tight. I don't know what I'd ever do without Tim. I ask him if he really believes that and he assures me it's the truth. We sit around for another hour or so, sometimes talking, but mostly just laying, being there for one another._

_Once it's pretty late he goes to leave and I feel much better than I had all day. As he walks out the door I yell out thanks. He responds with a smile and adds, "Oh! And Arizona, when you find her, don't let her go. No matter what, don't ever let her go."_

* * *

"Shit" Callie mumbles as she processes her wife's presence at the front of the bar. She didn't know how long Arizona had been there but the look on her face made it easy to guess. Callie stood up from her seat and gave the red head a shotty glance, half full with contempt and half warning her to escape while she could.

Arizona remained at the door for a few moments. Arms folded, jaw clenched, she worked through myriad emotions before she landed on fury. Determined to remain levelheaded, she released a gush of air and closed her eyes before walking calmly over to the odd pair at the bar.

Callie immediately began rambling off apologies but was startled by the rough hold Arizona took of her head. The blonde lifted Callie's eyelid and took in her red sclera and dilated pupils. No doubt the Latina had found the bottom of one too many glasses. The smell of alcohol practically poured from her skin.

"Ugh," Arizona scoffed with disgust. "You're clearly very, very drunk. We're going home, we'll talk about this later." The blonde then turned her attention to the red head sitting behind her. Jacey had her head down, focused on her drink, trying desperately to avoid confrontation.

"Arizona Robbins," the peds surgeon chirped, extending her hand for an unexpected shake. Jacey grabbed on and just stared, unsure of what a smile was doing on Arizona's face. Given the woman's silence Arizona requested, "and your name…"

"Jacey Wilmington," came slowly from the stranger. At this point the jovial look on the blonde's face was frightening.

"Jacey Wilmington," Arizona repeated to herself as she looked up for a second to gather her thoughts. "Well Jacey, this is _my wife_, Calliope. She is a surgeon, and a mother, and apparently very drunk. You… well you seem to be a bit of a slut." Arizona's tone remained light, airy, and matter-of-fact.

"And I know, slut is harsh. I don't know you very well, you might be a wonderful girl, but you kissing my wife makes me think the term very… _appropriate_." The blonde's voice began to take a darker tone.

"See I'm a happy person. I work with kids, I save lives, I'm all smiles usually. But the mere sight of you gives me the unnerving urge to hit you with a brick." Now she was deadly serious and giving Jacey a glare that could certainly pierce the soul. The red head was thoroughly frightened at this point. She sat with wide eyes full of fright, yet she couldn't stir her legs. She remained motionless with her mouth open, trying to say something apologetic.

At the lack of response Arizona continued, "Jacey! Go, before I find a brick!" With that the ability to walk returned to the woman's legs and she hastily left her stool and shuffled over to her friends. Arizona turned back and gave Callie a peeved look before heading towards the door. The brunette followed silently, much like an ashamed puppy.

Remaining a few feet behind Arizona the whole walk home Callie tried to say sorry despite how difficult thinking had become on account of the liquor. She rambled on for most of the walk until Arizona whipped around and pinched the fleshy curve of the her shoulder. Cal let out a little squeal and knit her brow. She was expecting harsh words, anger, or an explosion… not a pinch.

"Just _shut_ _up_! You messed up, it's not okay, and you _will_ explain yourself. But right now _you_ don't even know what you're saying. So shush! I'll be mad at you tomorrow, when you'll remember it. For now I just want to sleep," Arizona said firmly.

Zo didn't like the small smile that threatened to come over Callie's face, but she knew why it was there. Arizona was mad, furious even, but love doesn't go away on account of some foolish chick in a bar. Callie realized her wife wasn't going to leave her, hate her forever, or anything like that. There was a solemn sense of relief that their love was better than this dumb mistake. It was better, and stronger, and would overcome it… eventually. The blonde grabbed Callie's hand and led her home, hearing nothing but the sounds of the chilly Seattle night.

As the morning slowly arrived Arizona stirred without any alarm. Her sleep was light and unfulfilling to say the least. Quietly she readied herself for an early day at work, not bothering to wake Callie. The ortho surgeon was due at Seattle Grace a few hours later, but was in need of all the sleep she could get.

Callie finally woke up as rays of light filled the bedroom. She languidly rolled out of bed and trudged to the bathroom. Everything felt heavy and sore. There was a thrashing pain in her head that threatened to force the contents of her stomach to leave. Grabbing hold of the sink for stability she gazed as her reflection in the mirror. Callie hardly recognized herself. The baggy eyes, the smeared make up, the pale hue of her skin. What made it all that much worse was how she remembered the one thing she wanted to forget.

Callie ran cold water over her face and threw on a robe. The smell of coffee and the ruffling of paper signaled Arizona's presence in the kitchen. Though Cal was scared she followed the caffeinated scent, fully expecting the absolute worse from her wife. Arizona heard her come in but didn't lift her eye from the paper. As Callie sat she handed the disheveled Latina a mug of coffee, still reading some article. Callie cautiously cupped the mug with both hands and took small sips. She bit her lip among the heavy silence. Between the headache and her nerves the nausea only increased. When it become excruciatingly tense she let out a loud breath of air to signal her preparedness for the eminent yelling.

"So. How much of last night do you remember," Arizona asks, not yet ready to finish her reading. Callie looked over the kitchen counter as if the answer was written somewhere on it. Her silence was answer enough for Arizona.

"That much? I'm surprised. Joe said you went pretty crazy," the blonde adds. Finally she sits the paper down and looks at Calliope. Even though the brunette avoids her eyes she knows there's shame and sadness behind those brown orbs. "Look… I'm going to talk and I want you to listen. Can you do that?"

Callie nods softly, water gathering in her eyes, she's still worried that last night can't be undone.

"I'm mad at you. Mad that you drank yourself half to death, stayed out until some ungodly hour, and kissed some… floozy in a bar. _That_, kissing in the bar, that's my thing. But most of all Calliope I'm angry that you put up walls, kept me out, left me… and Sofia. You decided to stop treating this relationship like a marriage and because of that… I'm livid." Arizona drags her bottom lip through her teeth and takes in a gust of air through her nose. Talking about the reality of the night before, sparked a flurry anger and sadness.

Callie turns in her seat and at first Arizona thinks she is preparing to leave again. But before the blonde can explode with rage Callie makes her way behind the breakfast bar where Arizona is standing. She stands close to her wife and Arizona moves to face her. The tears still threaten to fall but Callie had a look of strength behind them. Taking hold of Arizona's hand she waits a second to steady her mind.

"Arizona, I am more than sorry. What I've put you through, and done to you, and not protected you from, is horrible." The blonde is a little confused by Callie's words but continues to listen, hoping by the end she won't feel so angry. "We're supposed to be partners and I let _everything_ come between us. From Mark, to work, and Sofia being sick. I haven't been there for you and like an idiot I thought everyone else to blame." The last bit didn't go past Arizona as she honed in on the confession that Callie blamed her for something. The anger spiked again in the blonde's expression, so Callie held on tighter to Arizona's hand.

"But it's not anyone else's fault Zo. _I_ let this happen, and baby I promise you I'll fix it. I can't undo the things I did… last night, that girl… I can't undo that. But I can make sure that none of this happens again. I am always going to be there for you, and be honest with you, and I will never ever leave you again. Not for anything. Because I love you Arizona." Callie's heart raced, and the moisture did stream from her eyes but she felt better. She felt all the passion, love, and emotion that had left her in the previous weeks return.

Arizona pressed her lips together tightly. Her bright blue eyes remained locked with dark brown. Her heart hurt for so many reasons it was hard to bear. Her wife made an awful mistake, she was extremely upset, and yet she felt sympathetic. Arizona's mind was telling her to be unforgiving, to scold Calliope, to let the aggression linger. It was impossible though. Too much of her belonged to the brunette, they were too intricately connected. She unconsciously shook her head, unable to navigate her thoughts. Her hand fell from Callie's and she folded her arms.

"I know you're sorry, and won't do this again. I believe you Calliope. But, I don't know where we go from here, how to trust you now," the blonde said with a light shrug. Her face said all the things she couldn't; _I want to trust you but now it's hard. I want to be mad and instead I'm sad. I miss you and us, and hope you can fix it._

Callie watched as all types of emotions flashed through the baby blue orbs. She lifted her hands to Arizona's shoulders and gently rubbed them. "I don't either," she admitted. Callie never expected to be the one who tore down a marriage. She looked over Arizona's form and appreciated all the things she'd lost sight of recently. "I guess you'll go to work, and I'll go to work. And we try to get back to being happy." Callie does her best to smile but Arizona's demeanor remains unchanged. The brunette swallows hard as she wonders if her wife will ever smile at her again.

Sure enough two dimples make a brief appearance. Arizona reaches her head up to chastely kiss Callie's cheek. "I gotta go," she says flatly as she walks past the Latina and scoops up her things.

Soft goodbyes are exchanged and she leaves. Callie leans against the counter and lets her head fall back. She closes her eyes and tries to will away her fears of losing everything she loves. Now is no time to lose faith in her marriage. Now is the time for clinging onto hope and making a conscious effort to be better. Callie needed to breathe, to focus, to get back to being Calliope Torres. She had been a shell of herself for far too long and now was the time for change.

At the hospital Arizona and Teddy stand in a break room fixing themselves cups of coffee. The morning had been a step in the right direction but Arizona still wasn't sure of what was happening in her marriage. Callie talked about not protecting her and she realized how unsupportive her wife had been. She thought of all the Mark drama, all the bickering, and all the times Callie would have jumped down people's throat in her defense, but didn't. The blonde realized things had gotten much worst than she'd noticed.

But Callie had admitted to it and apologized before Arizona even got to be upset. That morning promises were made and Zo trusted that they'd be kept. She felt her anger subsiding and couldn't figure how it was so easy to get over all that had happened.

Not noticing the deep concentration the peds surgeon was under, Teddy went on about picking colors for painting her apartment. "So I'm stuck between red and green. Red or green, but definitely not both... too Christmasy right?"

Teddy looks up from the cup of coffee she's preparing and realizes Arizona isn't listening. The shorter blonde is robotically stirring her own coffee, gnawing her inner jaw, and starring blankly at nothing in particular.

"Earth to Arizona..." Teddy ploys. She cranks her head side to side in a dramatic gesture of confusion. When her eyes finally intercepted Arizona's gaze, the peds surgeon was a bit startled.

"Oh. Sorry Teddy. I just..." Arizona sighs before facing the cardio surgeon squarely. "Callie kissed someone," she says with unease.

"Someone other than you and Sofia," Teddy asked. Her brow furled with confusion before Arizona nodded her head. "When? I mean who? What?" The taller blonde couldn't imagine Callie doing anything to hurt her wife.

"Some sleezy chick at Joe's. She practically attacked Callie, but a kiss is a kiss."

"So... What are you doing about it? What did Callie say?" Teddy was baffled by the idea and didn't have the slightest clue of what words to lend as advice.

"I should be mad right? Furious, livid! I should want to kill her-"

"Who?"

"Both of them... Right," Arizona asks unsure of how she felt. Callie was faithful, honest, and usually pretty reasonable. Knowing those things was making it hard for the peds surgeon to be as angry as she expected. She actually _wanted _to be enraged, that way Calliope would feel terrible about… everything. Zoning out for months, leaving her and Sofia, drinking irrationally, giving in to wanton come-ons from a stranger. Arizona wanted her wife to regret it all with every thing she had. Callie deserved to feel the shame and guilt because now that Arizona wrapped her head around the situation, she felt terrible and confused.

"I don't know. Maybe... You're not really mad already?" Teddy raised an eyebrow thinking the typically perky surgeon before her was actually noticeably angry.

"Oh no, I am mad. Just not as mad as I expected. Not mad the way I thought I'd be." There was silence between the blondes as the weight of the conversation set in. After a little thought Teddy shrugged her shoulders.

"It's because you love her. You want to be mad but the love's in the way," Teddy says casually. The answer was short, yet undeniably true.

Arizona knew why she wasn't more upset. Because she was in love with Callie, and that wasn't a bad thing. Bad would be if this one thing ruined their marriage, made her want a divorce, want to leave all together. Having the heart to stay, the love to get over it, that wasn't bad, it was wonderful. True love is rare and strong. Try as she might, as long as Callie committed to being the person Arizona fell in love with, the blonde couldn't be angry.

A smile came over the peds surgeon as her eyes rolled around gleefully. "I do love her," she said to her friend who didn't seem the least bit surprised. Teddy smiled back and placed a hand on the shorter blonde's shoulder.

"You'll learn to trust her again, let her gravel a bit, and then you'll just put it behind you. Yeah?" Teddy asked knowing Arizona's mood was changing for the better. She got an assured nod in response and walked off happy with her counseling skills.

The day at the hospital went like any other. Patients came in, patients went home, some died, and most lived. Miracles happened by way of scalpels and sutures. And soon it was time to leave. Dr. Torres had successfully avoided Sloan all day. She didn't regret not one thing she had said and wasn't in the mood to hear his apologies. She was going to have to start putting her and Arizona first. Having one day at work, where she focused on her surgeries, made progress with getting her promotion, and didn't worry about Mark, was the first step in fixing the mess she'd made.

After finishing up some charts and completing rounds Callie threw on her leather jacket and made her way home. Arizona got off work a few hours before her so she knew she'd find her wife and Sofia already at the apartment. Before she could even get the door open she hears a child's cheery voice calling her. By the time she's inside Sofia is at her feet with her arms up looking to lifted. Callie pulls the lively child onto her hip and gives her biggest smile.

"Hey mija! I missed you." Sofia grinned happily and let her head fall on her mami's chest.

"I missed you too mami. You said we were gonna read _My Abuelita_ last night_,_ but you left," Sofia whines with a pout. Callie runs her hand over the tiny girl's hair and looks down at the frowning face.

"I know. Mami's sorry, lo sientos," Callie shifts Sofia so the tyke has to look up. "How about tonight we can read two books, and you can pick." Sofia beams with excitement and nods energetically. Callie puts her little girl down on her feet and sends her back to her seat in the kitchen. For the first time since she got home she really looks at Arizona.

The blonde's flawless form glides around the kitchen as she prepares dinner. Still in her frilly blouse and perfectly tailored slacks Arizona looks amazing. Callie wants to keep saying sorry, keep apologizing every second for the rest of her life, but decides that the best thing she can do is move forward.

"Hey," the brunette says softly. Arizona looks up and tucks a lock of hair behind her ear giving a clear view of her dimpled grin. Noticing her mood Callie smiles too. Maybe they would have an easy time moving on.

"Hey," Arizona responds and she drops a handful of something in a pan. Callie makes her way over to join her girls in the kitchen. The women talk about their day at work, ask Sofia about day care, and even manage a civil conversation about kindergarten. When the food is ready Arizona sends the munchkin off to wash her hands and the couple is left alone momentarily. Suddenly the airy mood seems tense and forced. Awkward glances are exchanged before Callie finally says something.

"I'd understand if you were mad at me. If you… were frowny, and angry, and snippy. I deserve that." Arizona just looks at Callie for a second and considers explaining her revelation from earlier. Sofia walks back in and Zo figures it's best left for later.

"Let's just eat," she says to the nervous Calliope. Callie agrees to put it off and expects Arizona to take her up on that offer later. Dinner is pleasant though. It's been a long time since the three of them have had a chance to eat together, at home, alone.

Sofia must have had a long day because when bedtime comes she doesn't even make it through the first book before sleep takes over. Arizona comes into the brightly decorated room just in time to tuck Sofia in. Each mom lays a kiss on her head before tip-toeing out the door. Soon they're in bed too finding it harder and harder to avoid the conversation that started before dinner.

Callie finally starts by more or less repeating her sentiments from earlier. Arizona mulls over the suggestion again, thinking maybe she should just be bitchy for a while. She has every right to be a tyrant, but her better judgment wins out.

"Calliope I'm not going to walk around here slamming doors, cutting my eyes, and being mean. I thought I should be uncontrollably mad but I'm not, so there's no point in acting like a psycho. What good would that do? I think it would just drive us apart… further apart than we where already..." Arizona trails off as she flashes back to the dreary months passed. "I thought about how close I was to losing you… us losing each other. It doesn't matter who's fault it was because either way no one wins. I am… madly in love with you Calliope and even when it's hard to hold on, I'm never letting go."

Callie feels more tears burning her eyes. She is constantly astounded by the strength and love that Arizona gives. Again she thinks she doesn't even deserve her. "But what I did was horrible Zo. How can you just forgive me… I can't even forgive myself," Callie says through her cries.

"Because someone told me once that I'd find a girl so special that she would love me more than my _own brother_. And when I found her I shouldn't ever let her go, not ever," Arizona said sincerely, trying to hold back her own tears. Callie hung on the distinction that she loved Arizona more than Tim had. She for one couldn't attest to how much he loved the blonde, but Callie knew she was devoted with mind, body, and soul. She lived for Arizona, despite letting herself lose sight of that, and she knew Arizona meant more than life itself.

"Who told you that? I love you Zo, but I know Tim loved you too." Arizona smiled at the memory of her brother and best friend comforting her when no one else could. She knew Tim was her rock, but Callie was the love of her life.

"He told me… Tim told me that when I found _you_, that I had to hang on. So… I will not waste time being mad. I accept your apology, and forgive you, and one day the trust will come back. But I promised my brother I'd do better than to make things worse, than to keep pushing us apart, and that's what I'll do."

If Arizona wasn't unbelievably perfect before Callie knew it as fact now. After being so absent, cold, and hurtful, her wife was willing to put it behind them without so much as an argument. Not that it would be easy to forget, not that Arizona would be able to trust her whole-heartedly, but it was going to get better. They were committed to it being better. Callie felt overwhelmed by how forgiving Arizona was and before long her lips came crashing against the blonde's. She pushed her hands through golden curls and reveled in the feel of Arizona's arms wrapped around her.

It took no time for their bodies to be overcome with that familiar lust that kept them infatuated with each other. Callie pulled back so only their noses touched. She whispered sweet promises of love and commitment, confessions of regret and apology. More than ready to forget about it all Arizona forced their lips back together. Tongues lasciviously twirled past each other igniting burning passion in both women's cores.

While much needed love making was sure to ensue something interrupted the pair. The blaring sound of Callie's car alarm startled them both. Then came the alarming sound of glass shattering, then again, and again. Callie sprang from the bed and hurried to the window in the living room. Outside she could see people in dark clothes running from the parking lot. She grabbed her softball bat from the closet and went outside with the intention of hurting anyone she caught.

Arizona was slow to follow because the noise had woken Sofia up. She made her way to the lot in her robe with the munchkin on her hip. When she arrived Callie just stood, bat at her side, tears bursting from her eyes. The blonde gasped as the scene stole her breath away and she felt her heart sink. Callie tried to talk and several times just choked on her words. Eventually she managed…

"Why would anyone do this?"

* * *

**Good lord this is a very long chapter. I tried to shorten it but… well I obviously failed. Hope length makes up for lost time. Let me know what you think, hope the cliff hanger wasn't too much, I just needed to end it before this turned into the freaking Odyssey. The next update won't be so long and will have more action, I promise. Peace!**

**A/N: **_**My Abuelitas **_**is something I read to my little cousin once (he speaks Spanish which is sprinkled in here and there). It's a real book, and quite lovely actually.**


	8. When You Need It Most

**Hey everyone. See, not nearly as long of a wait. Anyway, heads up, this chapter has an obvious theme of Equal Rights. I'm NOT trying to preach on it, or start a movement (that's already been done). I'm just including it because it's a real part of the LGBT world. People discriminate and so I found it fit to see how the girls would handle that. Never has anyone on Grey's questioned same-sex relationships, which is lovely, wish the world was like that, but also extremely unlikely. Hope you like this one for what it is…**

**I don't own anything, Grey's Anatomy and its characters are the result of the lovely Shonda Rhimes.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

"_Why would anyone do this?"_

Sofia presses her hands to her ears trying to drown out the wailing alarm. The flashing headlights illuminate the teary face Callie has. She steps closer and the sound of crunching glass stops her. She is not a materialistic kind of girl. To her family, relationships, and love were the things that mattered most. So, it wasn't that her car had been totaled without even moving. Callie could replace the car that now had a smashed windshield, three broken windows, keyed paint, and tons of dents. What made her cry were the words recklessly spray-painted across the doors. In heavy white letters it read _GO TO HELL. _On the other side it said _GAY IS A SIN._

Neither woman could produce any more words than Callie had already spoken. Arizona pulled Sofia into her arms even more and turned the girl away from the wreckage. Callie regained her breath and spun around to face Arizona. Her throat remained closed but her eyes pled for an answer. Where did this hatred come from? Who would do this to them?

The pediatric specialist had no answers for her wife. She was as clueless as ever. Arizona had been an open lesbian since she was a teenager and not once had been the victim of a hate crime. Sure there was juvenile teasing, scum bag remarks from low life men, religious condemnation here and there, but never anything criminal.

Callie had never actually considered the idea of violent opposition to a relationship. Her whole life she'd been with men and no one questioned her relationships with women except her family. And questioning was one thing, losing support from her family was hard, but to have someone vandalize her property and not even know who she was… that hurt more than any insult she'd experienced.

"T-take Sofia inside," Callie stuttered. Without a word Arizona left, whispering reassurances to the frazzled little girl. When Cal turned back to see her car, the sorrow was replaced with immeasurable rage. Her breathing got heavy and her face went red with fury. From deep in her chest came a sound between a grunt and roar. Her grip on the bat tightened uncontrollably before she forcefully threw it to the ground. It bounced around, metal clanging against the concrete, and settled next to something that looked like a wallet.

Callie maneuvered around the shards of glass and picked the object up. It was a small square wallet made of cheap faux leather. She undid the snap and rifled through the junk inside. To her disappointment there was no identification to be found.

There was a folded up flier for some type of club, gift cards, a few small bills, and a picture of Jesus. Callie flicked the corner of the picture with her thumb and laughed solemnly. It was painfully ironic that people could do such hateful things and feel any connection with God or Jesus.

There was nothing Callie could do standing in the cold so she went inside and got her phone. First she called the police, then her insurance company, then the only person she knew who could help track someone down— her dad.

She started as calmly as possible but mid conversation she resorted to Spanish hollers and rants. Arizona was more or less still in shock and just watched as Callie paced the living room floor vehemently. Being married to the Latina hadn't boosted her comprehension of Spanish in the slightest and she was beginning to regret it.

After a lengthy conversation, that turned more rational once Carlos swore to help, Callie plopped down next to Arizona and gave a heavy sigh. Her head fell into her hands, she closed her eyes, and just let her mind rest for a minute. The blonde rubbed big circles on Callie's back doing her best to calm her wife. The situation seemed strangely unreal.

"What did Carlos say," Arizona asked after the silence got uncomfortable. Callie explained how her dad would work with Seattle Police to find the people who'd wrecked her car. There was a chance they could track down one of the offenders by looking into purchases from the gift card and cross-referencing with the membership from the club on the flyer. When she finished she shook her head in disbelief.

"Why us? What have we ever done to anyone?" Callie couldn't understand how her and Arizona had become a target. Arizona bit down on her top lip and her eyes filled with sympathy for the them both.

She took Callie's face in her soft hands. Looking straight into deep brown eyes she said, "no one deserves something like this. People just hate things they don't understand." Arizona was right, her words rang true, but it didn't explain how the vandals even knew about the couple.

Then it hit her!

Callie looked up and over at her TV as the epiphany set in. "It had to be that news special. The follow-up from the shooting. You remember, they had all these big plans to re-air it because it's been five years. We were in that, a lot!" Callie's voice gets higher as she puts things together. Arizona knits her brow and tries to remember the mini-documentary. It was so long ago, the details were fuzzy, and she couldn't recall how much of their relationship was taped. "W-we, we kissed. And it was all that stuff about us moving to Africa… _together_. Zo, whoever did this must have seen the report and decided to come after us," Callie says with fright building in her chest.

Calliope stood up while she raked her hands through her hair. This all couldn't _really_ be happening. This was 2016, how could there still be such blatant hate and discrimination in a free country. "What if we're not safe here? What if they keep coming back and it gets worst?" Callie's questions were more or less rhetorical but Arizona shook her head anyway.

Worry kept the couple up most of the night. Feeling attacked and vulnerable left both women unable to sleep. Deep into the night Callie could hear Arizona tapping her teeth together the way she does when she's anxious. Callie would press closer to her wife hoping the embrace would calm her some.

Coming off the terrible aftermath of Callie's emotional withdrawal made it more important than ever for the two to stick together. There was no place for pride, or heroics. Situations like the one they were in called for unbridled and honest support. Something Callie knew she had to give. It would be one step in earning back Arizona's trust.

Being back at work the next morning seemed like living in a hazy dream.

* * *

EMTs rush three victims off the ambulance and recount their injuries. Two adult males, ages 27 and 30, and one 5 year old girl. All three suffer life-threatening injuries from a domestic fire.

"Male one has superficial burns on his left arm, ribs, and upper leg. Breathing on his own, but no doubt we're looking at respiratory damage. Fire Marshall says there was heavy amounts of cyanide in the air."

Owen asks about the scene and the visual is gut wrenching.

The men lived as partners above their high-end fabric shop. Someone set fire to their store and the flames raged uncontrollably, fueled by shelves of plastics, synthetics, and silks. The living area caved in on the shop and trapped their daughter in the remains of her room. Firemen found one man unconscious just outside the building and the other helplessly trying to save the girl.

Another EMT starts briefing the crowd on her patient. "Male two, deep full thickness burns on 70% of his body. His pulse is weak, O2 is almost non-existent. He stood in a flame trying to move some wreckage. Would've still been there if the rest of the ceiling didn't give in. His whole left side, pelvis down, is crushed."

Callie pulls back the sheet and unexpectedly finds herself feeling nauseous. The man's leg is blistering from the heat, in some places torched to the point of blackness, and with shards of his bones jutting out, it resembles pulverized meat. She looks over the exposed tissues that house his nerves. If there is a God, the man lost feeling well before arriving at the hospital.

Arizona moves past both men and unhangs her stethoscope from around her neck. As the little girl is lowered from the last ambulance she listens for any type of regular breathing.

"The girl got the worst of it. Stuck between two metal shelves the unnatural heat was cooking her alive. You're looking at fatal toxicity, cardio hypoxia, and we bagged her. There's no lung function at all."

"Any bronchospasm," Arizona questions, hoping there's some life left in the girl's lungs. The EMT can't say one way or the other. The peds surgeon starts dictating a plan of action while she assesses the girl for herself. Applying light pressure to the ribs there is no mistaking the swelling and tenderness of broken bones. From what Arizona can tell three of the ribs might be completely broken, and possibly puncturing the lungs.

The ER becomes a frenzied mess. Swarms of doctors fall into place in preparation to operate. Monitors shrill cries of dropping blood pressures, and a soft buzzing lies underneath it all. It's the sound of the ever-ready defibrillators, each person's last chance at life, the final hope. When life is slipping away, hard to keep hold of, the hum surges with electricity and yanks life back.

And it waits. Sitting ominously as the physicians set up tubes, and make emergency incisions. It waits. And thankfully, is never needed.

The younger of the two male victims is taken to a sterile room for treatment. His burns are bad but don't require surgery. The worst of his injuries is a dislocated shoulder.

In OR 2 is his daughter Molly, who lays unconscious with Arizona's hands deep inside her chest. Upon opening her up the surgeons realize that the burns and inhalation damage are the least of her problems. The ribs were piercing her lungs.

"Page Dr. Torres!" Arizona orders. She packs the puncture wound to stop the blood and has the nurses administer more drugs.

OR 5 isn't running an smoother. Callie has a game plan to save the man's leg but the hematoma spreading through his pelvis is interrupting blood flow to the limbs and no oxygen is getting through. She can rebuild his bones, but they're no good if the tissue is dead.

"Talk to me Hunt. Am I making this man a leg or taking one off," Callie grunts. Yes, the man has other injuries, but the ortho surgeon is becoming frustrated with the de-prioritization of her job.

"We need to save his life first. Dead men don't need legs," Hunt responds crudely. Just then an intern rushes into the room and tells Callie she's needed in OR 2.

"Call me when you need me," she sasses before tossing down her retractors and following the intern out.

Molly's still alive, but barely, when Callie arrives. The brunette peers into the tiny chest and gasps. "Oh my God," she says. Only her eyes are visible but they speak volumes about her concern. "How is she still alive?"

Arizona explains how the bones are lodged in a way that allows for air to gather in the lungs long enough for respiration. But if they're removed even a breathing tube won't be able to do enough to keep her oxygen levels high. To make matters worse, if they didn't close up and start grafting her skin, she'd lose the cutaneous tissue covering everything north of her chest.

Callie doesn't understand how she can help. Sure, the girl needs her thoracic cage rebuilt but the Latina can't magically close up the wounds in her lungs. Callie asks her wife, who for now is just a colleague, and Arizona has a plan.

"We're going to collapse the left lung, suture, and then switch. We have to get both done, the ribs stabilized, and have her closed in… 2 and half hours, or she'll lose most of her skin," the blonde says quickly. She glances rapidly between brown eyes and the bloodied packing inside the chest.

"How will she breath with one lung collapsed. A trach tube isn't deep enough to fill one bronchi at a time."

To Callie's puzzled brow, Arizona softens her gaze and asks more than says, "We'll pass it through her sternum, where you'll make a path. Then while we work on the lungs, you get something in place to protect her chest cavity so we can close her up and save her skin."

_What?—_ Callie thinks to herself. Her eyes scold Arizona for dragging her into such a mess of a surgery. Building a frame to reset ribs is difficult and time consuming. And Arizona expects that _plus _an ostopic channel for the breathing tube. It was a lot to ask when chances were the girl would die.

But she can't blame her wife for taking the risk. Arizona was the most dedicated surgeon Callie had met, and would never give up on a kid's life. And, if she was going to collapse the lung of a severely injured girl while something orthopedic was done, it made sense to ask the only rock star ortho surgeon in the country.

"This is… crazy, and risky, and… I'm in," Callie said, her mask hardly veiling the grin on her face.

So they went to work! One lung fixed, breathing tube switched, then the other. Callie used the severed thoracic bones and constructed a cage like system to reset the ribs and protect the girl's vital organs that lay below.

Then the clock became an issue. Two and half hours quickly turned to one, which withered down to minutes.

"Low density drill… Damn it," Callie said. The structure she formed wasn't holding to the bone. "I have to run cerclage wire through here. Bone mill."

Arizona glanced at the clock before returning her concentration to Callie's handy work. The ortho surgeon was working diligently but was facing all the complications that came with time constraints.

"We've got 25 minutes. Can you make that, will you make that," the peds surgeon asks anxiously. Callie shot her stern looks in between forceful turns of a screwdriver.

"I got this. It's just… her bones have no density… ugh," Callie mumbled with frustration. She asked for a k-wire and went about reinforcing the girl's sternum while Arizona continued to fret.

"20 minutes. Dr. Torres we're cutting it close and—" the sight of stormy brown eyes stopped the blonde from continuing.

"Arizona," Callie said, taking a moment to address her _wife_. "I have this. Trust me… okay? Just trust me." Arizona looks at her wife and puts her trust in the strength she sees. She nods her head 'okay'.

With 8 minutes left Callie lifts her arms with cheer. She proclaims her work is complete and steps away from the table, satisfied with her piece of art. Arizona and a few residents get to work grafting skin but the blonde can't help looking up to smile at Callie once or twice.

When Molly's surgery was over Arizona headed to OR 5 to check in on the father's leg. She wondered if Callie got the chance to build him a new one. She got distracted by the crowd gathered in the waiting room where the news showed on a mounted flat screen. The blonde took a detour to listen in with everyone else.

_In the last 24 hours Seattle Police have reported 4 different crimes all possibly centered around anti-gay motives. Two cases of arson, a brutal beating, and extreme property damage are the crimes committed by a suspected extremist group called One Way Crusaders. There are no suspects at this time but police say there are some leads. All of the victims were in same-sex relationships and successful members of the community. Seattle police urge other couples like this to be alert, safe, and vigilant. If you know anything…._

The words no longer registered in Arizona's head. It became white noise. All that she could think of was her baby girl. She had just spent 5 hours saving another child's life, who was a victim to the same people as her and Callie. What if that had been her Sofia? What type of monsters were they dealing with?

Arizona could feel the contents of her stomach rising, its approach burning her throat. Then she heard her name and the feeling left her. Her body teetered ever so slightly as her head got light, but Callie's presence grounded her again.

"Arizona, what's wrong?" The brunette placed her hands on her wife's shoulders and ducked her head to see into her eyes. Zo opened her mouth and the words came slowly. She repeated what she heard from the newscaster and saw her emotions reflecting back from Calliope's face. They might have stood forever, frozen with fret and fear, but Owen Hunt's voice rang out from the stairs and broke the hold.

"Dr. Torres, Dr. Robbins. We need to talk." The women followed the gingered man into a conference room where uniformed police were already waiting. Callie became alarmed, assuming something else terrible had happened while she was at work. The officers calmed her down and simply asked for more details about the previous night. She didn't have a worthwhile description, couldn't remember how many people were there, and had next to nothing to offer.

"Look ladies we're really here because this type of thing can get out of hand. You two were okay but this group is getting more and more violent. It'd be nice to get some victims in front of the camera, say some words of encouragement, show em they haven't won…" The cops stared and waited. It was a lofty request but sometimes victims were willing to help if it meant getting some justice.

"We have a little girl. We can't just go and chastise these people on television," Arizona said with exasperation. Callie placed a comforting hand on the small of her back and the blonde looked at her wife before turning back to the police.

One officer rubbed the back of his neck nervously. They were desperate to find a way to get the criminals to slip up. "You all don't have to, but it could save lives."

"We save lives for a living, so that's not really a selling point," Callie said flatly.

The uniformed men exchanged glances, wordlessly trying to decide what to do next. Finally one of them offered, "We're having a press conference in the morning. It'll be at the precinct downtown. Here's a card, give us a call if you change your mind."

Both women gave a contemplative nod. Out of things to say, the officers left and only the doctors remained.

"Callie, Arizona, if you all need time to work stuff out I have no problem—" Callie stopped him before he could even suggest they take time off. In a few hours the criminals had taken away their sense of security but weren't going to take anything else. Callie was still working on her promotion and Arizona… well she's just wildly dedicated, and being in the hospital was the only sense of normalcy they had.

"No way. They don't get that victory. We're going to stay here and do our jobs. If I can't sleep at night, or walk around without looking over my shoulder, I'm going to at least be a surgeon," Callie says with a weighty finality. Arizona's eyebrows rise as she takes in her wife's resolve to be stronger than this situation. Owen nods his head with acceptance. So Callie and Arizona leave the room and head off to do the one thing, other than parenting, that comes 100% naturally.

The ortho surgeon reaches a sterile room and finds the 27 year old man from the fire. His burns have been treated but the agony on his face is brutal. Callie looks over his chart and is pleased to see his shoulder is just dislocated.

"Okay Mr. Fischer, I'm going to give you a light sedative to relax the muscle around your shoulder so I can reduce it."

"Reduce? What does that mean _Dr_…?"

"Dr. Torres. Um... pop it back in place. The sedative will help, but there will still be some pain." After giving the man the drug Callie asked if he was ready and he gave a nervous nod. Sensing his _non_-readiness she asked him to talk about something that made him happy. For a few minutes he went on about meeting his husband, how they opened their fabric shop, and he eventually took his eyes off his shoulder and drifted into a reverie about his little girl.

"Molly is the best thing in our whole—Ahhh! Christ!" Callie gave a sympathetic smile and reassured the man the pain was over.

"No, pain like this doesn't go away," he said. The ortho surgeon tried to insist that a dislocation was minor but the man cut her off. "Not the shoulder Dr. Torres. The emotional pain. Someone set fire to _everything I love._ Someone who doesn't know me, and hates me for being different." Tears came unashamedly as he continued. "Ron dragged me out of the fire, made sure I was safe, and then he went and got our girl. He put his life on the line for us. Now what about that is wrong? Isn't that what families do?"

To say Callie was hurting inside for her patient was an understatement. Empathy didn't begin to describe how she felt. She now understood how fortunate she was. Her girls weren't hurt, this had only happened once, the people in her world loved her for who she was, and she never felt the pain her patient talked about.

"They came to my house too. With my wife and my baby girl. We were lucky, they just wrecked my car," Callie said softly, unable to look into the wounded eyes across from her. "I'm sorry you all weren't so lucky, but we saved your family today. Molly, your husband, they'll be okay."

The faintest of smiles came over Mr. Fischer. He took comfort in the fact that his doctor understood him more than most could. "Thank you," he whispered. Callie took his bandaged hand in her's. It felt good to give someone an inkling of hope when all hope had been lost.

When she left, the brunette thought maybe her and Arizona _should_ say something at the press conference. If it helped people like the Fischers get the justice they deserved, maybe she owed them that. Before she could find her wife, a determined body planted itself in her path.

"Mark, move," she said sharply. With all the stuff going on in her head the last thing she wanted to deal with was her crappy friendship.

"Callie, you can't be mad at me forever. I'm you're best friend, your… your person. I'm your person for crying out loud." To this Callie just looked annoyed. Did Mark really think she didn't know that? Did he think she liked being angry with him, enjoyed hating what had come of their relationship?

"Yeah, you are my person. That's why it sucks so much that you almost ruined my marriage," she says through her teeth, a finger pointed at Mark like a loaded gun.

"I'm still here though. I wish I could go back, be a better friend, but I'm here now. Let me be here right now." Something about his words made Callie realize that Mark knew about the attack.

"You want to be here," she asked, Mark nods. "You want to help me get back on track," she adds, and there's another nod. "Then give me some space!" There is no more patience in Callie's raised voice.

"It's been what? Two days Mark! Give me _some time_. I don't know how we get back to being friends but you..." she clenches her fist and grunts, "give me space. Okay?" Mark's response is feable and defeated. He watches his… well what used to be his best friend walk away. It seemed like every physical step she took was an emotional step too. As she turned the corner out of sight, Mark felt his heart breaking again. Was Callie walking out of his life? Had he really pushed her out?

When Callie finds Arizona she's in the one place that makes the most sense, the day care. Leaning against a doorframe the blonde watches Sofia as she builds what Arizona thinks is the greatest Lego structure known to man. The little girl concentrates, her tongue pressed to her lips with determination, as she places block after block on her masterpiece. Arizona is so mesmerized by Sofia's work that she doesn't notice Callie until she's right next to her.

"Hey," she says to the brunette with the warmest smile she's had in days. Callie smiles back, feeling very calm in the midst of her favorite people. She forces herself to be serious though, because she wants to convince Arizona to speak to the press. It might be a risk but after talking to Mr. Fischer, it seems well worth it.

"I uh, finished the last of the fire vics a few minutes ago." Casually Callie eases into the topic but the reality of it all causes her strength to falter. "Do you know one of them dragged the other to safety before running back into the fire to get the girl," she continues. Arizona hears how Callie's voice is shaking and looks up at her wife. Lingering tears glisten in her eyes and Arizona doesn't have to hear anymore.

She places a hand on Callie's cheek to steady her own voice. "If that were us we'd do the same thing. It could have been us, and it's scary. I know you're scared because I'm scared too. But it wasn't us… we, we were lucky. If you want to go to the press conference in the morning then we'll go… together." Arizona softly nods as she searches Callie's expression for relief.

Callie breathes slowly and closes her eyes for a moment. Arizona's touch reminds Callie of why her wife is so wonderful. It's the way Arizona knows what to say before Callie even speaks. It's the effortless love that storms between them. It's all the little things words can't describe, that calms Callie's fear.

"Thank you," she sighs. When gentle brown eyes meet dazzling blue there's a lull in the anxiety that's overcome the couple recently. In its pace there's the familiar peace of just being in love and being together.

Somehow they manage the rest of the day separately. It's well past seven when they go to pick up Sofia from day care. Though she's excited to talk about her day exhaustion makes it hard. Callie and Arizona laugh quietly as the little Latina nods off even while she sits at the table for dinner.

Callie scoops the girl up and walks over to the couch. She sings sweet Spanish lullabies while Sofia loses the fight against sleep. When Arizona is done cleaning up she curls up next to her girls and lets the lullabies sweep her away too.

Everyone should be in bed, tomorrow won't be much easier, but Callie doesn't have the heart to move. This moment is too dreamy, too comfortable, and too perfect to end. So the three of them sleep, tucked into each other like pieces to a puzzle. They dream soundly because no crime, or judgment, or hate, could change the fact that this isn't wrong. There when they needed it the most, unwavering and true, what Calliope Torres and Arizona Robbins have is real. It's family…

* * *

**So I found this tough to write but I actually love it. Hope you do to but you gotta let me know :) Tell me, was it good or just overkill? Review. Peace!**

**A/N: If it was too much med stuff sorry, I get carried away. Hehe.**


	9. Family and Friends

**I'm aiming for every other Monday here... i have little faith in myslef but reviews and motivation are welcomed! Also, I got a tumblr that will eventually be home to some drabbles and is filled with Calzona- if you're interested in something to hold you over (in case anyone is that committed to this like I am lol). Anyway here's another chapter. How do Callie and Mark fare, can our girls get through the press conference, and a surprise house guest changes the game completely.**

******I don't own anything, Grey's Anatomy and it's characters are the result of the lovely Shonda Rhimes.**

******Enjoy!**

* * *

_Jeez. I don't know what I've been thinking. I've got the greatest kid a dad could ask for and two beautiful women trying to raise her right, and I'm messing it all up. Callie is my only friend and I'm treating her like nothing. What am I doing?_

_Now she won't talk to me, or answer my calls, and I know she avoids me in the hospital. I sent flowers, I took the munchkin for a whole week, I even washed her car. I don't wash cars… but she's not falling for the charm. I think I lost her. I think the Sloan charm has failed me for the first time since… ever. Had to be with the one person who means the most. The only person who ever meant so much._

_My best friend, gone._

_I sit on my couch eyeballing this number Hunt gave me. He didn't want to tell me but LA Presbyterian has been trying to get a hold of me for weeks. _

_I can't take the job. I wouldn't take the job. _

_Well… now I might take the job. I'm not really the man I was. If I don't have Cal, it's just me and Sofia. _

_Sofia. She needs me… right? _

_No, she's got two parents besides me. Plenty of dads are long distance, and LA's not that far. But I'd miss her. I'd miss her so much. Callie too, and even Arizona. This is my life, even if I've drug it through the mud._

_God! What am I doing? My life's here, so I'm staying._

_But I tore everything here apart, so maybe I should leave. Maybe…_

* * *

Loud banging on the door stirs the trio of ladies sleeping on the couch. Callie's awake instantly but she's pinned under her girls. Her body is tucked between the couch and Arizona, while Sofia's on top of her. The five year old is sprawled out so all her limbs dangle around Callie's sides.

The brunette lifts her head and tries to figure a way to get free. There's no use because every move rattles Sofia, and sliding off the couch would mean pushing Arizona to the floor. She's forced to wake her wife, who starts at the gentle shake, and hands over the toddler so she can answer the door.

Some awkward maneuvering ensues before Arizona is back fast asleep with Sofia wrapped around her. Callie quickly smiles at the scene and hustles to the door, hoping to open it before more knocks come.

She cracks it open and twists her mouth with annoyance and disgust. "What Mark," she spits. The recent days have left the man numb to such hostility and he puts on a tight smile.

"Callie, you gotta talk to me." His face get's serious and the concern is obvious. "I'm the only person in the damn hospital who doesn't know what's going on with you. Just let me in," he insists.

Callie sighs at his persistence but succumbs to he McSteamy pout. She lets him in and gestures for him to go into the bedroom. When the door is closed behind them Callie gathers herself, standing in the dark room full of the gray light the proceeds the sun. Maybe it's because of the hour, but her mind is fuzzy. She can't think straight with Mark there, something that's never happened before. What to tell him? Should she tell him? Who was he anymore?

"The other night those people from the extremist group… they um…" She lifted an arm towards the window where you could see the car and let it flop down defeatedly. "They totaled it. Because I'm married to a woman. Someone who's never met me, or Arizona, or Sofia… they hate us. That's what's going on," Callie said sharply.

Her anger wasn't about Mark at that moment. She was dealing with the scornful reality of the situation. Mark grabbed at his hair, wracked with emotions. He was angry with whoever did this to his friend, sad Callie had yet another problem to deal with, and felt guilty for only now being there to help.

"Callie…" he started. Mark was good with words and advice. It was all a part of his Sloany appeal. But standing with his wounded friend there were no words to say. He tried to comfort her with his eyes but her anger just swelled.

"We're going down to speak out against the group in a couple of hours. I know we need to talk but maybe later," Callie said. Sensing that her anger was rooted in fear, Mark offered to go along. Callie shot him down. Though she was trying to forgive him she wasn't in the place to let Mark back in yet. Not with all the drama bringing out the worst of her aggression.

Unable to convince Callie otherwise, Mark went back home and got ready for work. His worry never subsided though. More than ever before, he just wanted to support Callie, be the friend he meant to be and she deserved.

Callie walked back into the living room and watched while the orange glow of early morning crawled over her girls. When it was time to get dress, she peeled Sofia off her momma and tried to wake her gently.

"Mija? Baby girl, it's time to get up," she whispered. She laid light kisses on Sof's nose and the little girl woke with a yawn. She looked around and wondered why they were in the living room.

"Did we sleep her mami," Sofia said with a tired voice.

"Mm hmm. We fell asleep and never went to bed. You ready to get dressed?" The brunette bounced her baby girl on her hip a little to wake her up all the way. Sofia gave a little nod and the two headed to her room.

Eventually realizing Sofia's absence Arizona get's up. When she hears Callie and Sofia laughing from down the hall her heart melts a little. Her body ached from sleeping on the couch but she thought it well worth time spent cuddled with her wife and baby girl. She quickly got herself in and out the shower and dressed. When she was making her way to the kitchen Callie and Sofia were headed towards her, the munchkin all ready for the day.

"Hey sweet girl," Arizona said, bending down to kiss Sof's forehead. "What do you want for breakfast?" Sofia tried to pick some saccharine cereal but was left with the options of eggs and toast, or oatmeal. She chose the latter and scurried into the kitchen to grab the box and a seat.

Arizona stood up and smiled at Callie's wrinkled brow. Even if the immediate world was calm, Callie always frowned when she had something stressful on her mind.

"You're going to get terrible wrinkles Calliope," Arizona jested. Her wife realized what she was referring to and rubbed her forehead.

"Ugh, I know," the brunette replied with genuine disappointment in her future appearance. Arizona pulled her in by the waist and kissed between her eyebrows.

"You'll still be beautiful, and I'll still love you," she said with a smile. Callie grinned softly and kissed Arizona's cheek. With that they parted ways, Arizona to the kitchen and Callie to the shower. The worried thoughts that made Cal wrinkle her brow were still looming but subsided enough for everyone to enjoy the quiet morning.

After Sofia got dropped off with Mark, the two mothers made their way to the downtown police precinct. Of all the nervous moments Callie and Arizona had been through, this was amongst the worst. Standing up and being a voice against hate was honorable for sure, yet very risky. This could backfire, fuel the group's anger, and even bring more attacks into Callie and Arizona's life.

Still they had to try to be stronger, be braver, and be better than the people against them. Soon they were sitting behind a table with several police officers next to them. Callie figured the one with the special hat was the police chief, and recognized the others from the hospital. The space just inside the doors of the station began to fill with reporters and cameras.

The scene was unsettling for both women. They hadn't really thought of what to say, or what questions would be asked. This was completely foreign and scary. The officer closest to them tried to calm them with reassuring words. He promised it wouldn't take long, and the reporters would go easy on them.

When the time came the police chief talked about remaining strong despite hate crimes. He ended his spiel by introducing two survivors of the attacks, Callie and Arizona. They both put on tight smiles and did their best to look confident and at ease. Callie was doubtful that their expressions hid anything, so she thought it best to be honest.

One reporter asked, "So, what do you plan on doing on a day to day basis now?"

"Erm…" Callie cleared her throat and kept on, "We're surgeons. So we're going to go to work, and save lives, and do our jobs."

"What would you like to say to the criminals," someone else asked right away.

This was the question no one had thought about. No one was prepared to answer. Still, Arizona, the good man in the storm, mustered up an answer.

"I think, me and Callie… we want to say that we are still happy. We are still married, still mothers, still… in love. What they did was terrible. We operated on the other victims. But no broken glass, or fire, or… anything, can ruin family. Family is stronger than that."

A new, warmer smile spread over Callie's face. Hearing her wife speak so fearlessly was incredible. Arizona couldn't have said it better. They glanced at each other, loving brown eyes and deep dimples on display. Callie slid her hand over Arizona's as they just looked out at the crowd of reporters. Everyone within earshot silently agreed, that was the best answer anyone could have given.

The questions to follow were trivial and unimportant. By the end of the conference the fear was gone and the couple felt a million times lighter. What they had done was selfless and heroic. But more importantly, it made it easier for them to heal. They looked their offenders in the face (in a way) and overcame them. That would be the beginning of them moving on.

"You're amazing," Callie said as she drove back to the apartment. Arizona had been a little lost in thought and it took a second for her to reply.

"Why do you say that," she asked with a bashful smile.

"Because... you are," Callie insisted with a smirk and a nonchalant shrug of the shoulder. To her, it was obvious she had found the greatest woman ever. Arizona was the perfect friend, wife, and mother. Strong enough to carry them through all the good _and_ the bad. She was undeniably amazing.

Arizona giggled at the compliment. Truth was she thought the same thing about Calliope, even after all the gloomy days recently. Callie was still the love of her life. She reached over and placed her hand on Callie's thigh, meaning for it to be a loving gesture. Instead, the gentle touch fell far too close to the juncture between Callie's legs, to be platonic. The looks on both women's faces quickly turned into lustful gazes. With slanted eyes, and gnawed lips, they silently discussed the urgent need to be _not in the car_.

And as soon as they weren't, no time was spared. Somehow they made it to the apartment, having navigated the lobby with their lips locked. Even more surprisingly, someone managed to free a hand from roaming lasciviously, to open the door. And when it closed behind them nothing else mattered. What they had been through, what happened at the press meeting, what the extremist might do next… none of it meant anything.

Clothes were shed as if they were on fire, hot to the touch, or forbidden suddenly. When feverish grabbing wasn't enough, nails ran deliciously across bare skin. Kissing didn't suffice, so there was biting, and sucking, subtle pains and immense pleasure. Fingers ran through hair, over hips, between legs. Inside. Then out. Then in. Then deeper. Moaning came from deep within the chest, dripping with desire, overflowing with need. Screaming, loud and uninhibited.

"Arizona!"

Husky whispers of "I love you."

Then hands cease to ease the yearning. Tongues run rampant. Down flawless skin, over every valley, and curve. Soft kisses are so perfectly place, until butterflies storm wildly inside.

"Calliope!"

The sounds only make it that much better, that much more perfect, and that much more incredible. And the high that takes them away is _phenomenal_. It hurls through them, leaving the couple quaking with blissful ecstasy.

Afterwards they lay with a light glaze of sweat, out of breath, and in love. No amount of time can change how they connect. How great it is to be with each other, so close, so deep. If they didn't have late surgeries, and Sofia that night, they might have stayed in bed, pressed together, perfectly at peace. But they did have things to do and were forced to re-shower and get ready for the rest of the day. Arizona and Callie were more than grateful that already the whole hate crime ordeal seemed to be behind them.

In the kitchen they drank coffee in silence. Arizona read the paper like she does most days and Callie flipped through paperwork from her car insurance company. Both women jumped a little at the sound of knocking on the door. No one was expected to be coming over, so there was a bit of caution in their faces. Maybe it all wasn't behind them yet…

Callie decided she'd check to see who it was and slowly walked to the door. Looking out the peephole she was surprised to see a smiling blonde outside the door. Though she couldn't place a name the face was oddly familiar. Arizona asked who it was in a hushed voice and Callie gave a twisted face of uncertainty. The peds surgeon made her was over and peered out the peephole for herself.

"Ahhhhhhh," she squealed, practically shoving Callie out the way and swinging the door open. "Melanie," she added with an equally excited voice. Her arms went out immediately for a hug and the other blonde ran in.

"I missed you so much," the woman said into Arizona's shoulder as they continued to embrace. Stepping back to look at each other all they could do was smile. "I trust you enough to move out of the city and we never talk, never go out, and all I see of you is some crazy police case on the news?"

Arizona looked a bit ashamed. Melanie was one of her best, best friends from med school. When Tim died and Nick, left Melanie stepped in to fill the void. Granted she wasn't one of the guys, but surely never judged Arizona for anything. In fact, Melanie instigated half of Arizona's arbitrary flings back in the day. They moved to Seattle together, but when Melanie got married she moved to the suburbs and opened a private practice. Arizona probably should have been looking to her friend for help lately but hadn't even thought to call.

"Don't worry, I forgive you," Melanie said in reply to Arizona's puppy eyes. After a brief silence Melanie gestured towards Callie who was just watching the reunion from the arm of the couch.

"Oh my God. I'm terrible. Melanie this Callie, my beautiful, wonderful wife," Arizona said. She moved towards Callie and kissed her cheek, asking forgiveness for being so rude. The brunette and Melanie shook hands and Melanie realized she'd forgotten to introduce someone as well. She spun around and stepped out the door, only to walk back in with a baby carrier full of a blonde haired, bouncing baby boy.

"Okay now _you,_ don't kill me. This is Marshall, my little man," the taller blonde said presenting the baby to Arizona and Callie. Zo's jaw dropped at the sight of the gorgeous child. Melanie had shared in her sentiments to never have kids, and here they were, both mothers.

"Oh no, I'm going to kill you for sure. Look at him, he's precious," Arizona swooned as she lifted the baby out the seat and raised him up to eye level. She babbled some indecipherable baby talk to him and earned a gummy, dimpled smile. While Arizona played with the boy her friend glanced around and admired the apartment. It seemed to be a great balance of bright and edgy. No doubt Arizona had come to some great compromises.

Then she noticed a picture of Arizona swaddling a one-year-old Sofia and became surprised herself. "Hey, we're obviously the worst friends ever because you have a baby girl and I don't know?"

The _oops I forgot_ face crept back over Arizona's features as she handed the baby over to Callie. "Yeah, Sofia, she's almost 5 now, and just… absolutely beautiful." Arizona couldn't help the beaming smile as she ran her hand over the picture frame. She was so proud to be Sofia's momma, it oozed from her every time she mentioned the little girl.

"Where is she? I mean I'm god mom by default, so I'd like to meet this god daughter of mine," Melanie urged, snapping her fingers as if it were certainly urgent. To this Callie stopped bouncing the baby and Arizona's eyes shot to the ground. It always got weird trying to explain their family situation to people, even close friends like Melanie.

"Uh, well she's with her dad," Callie chimed in. Melanie knit her brow with confusion and looked back at Arizona who just looked up with a goofy smile. The peds surgeon did her best to explain Mark, and Callie, and their arrangement. It seemed more and more complicated every time she told someone.

"Well then. Sounds like fun. But if my god daughter's at daycare at the hospital, and you all have work, then let's go see her. She can meet Marshall, yeah?" The shorter blonde was overwhelmed with how understanding her friend was. Just like before, never any judging, _ever_.

So all three ladies made their way over to the hospital, Arizona proudly carrying Marshall, who she had deemed her godson just minutes ago. She was convinced that he understood and that's why he smiled at her incessantly. Callie and Melanie just chuckled at the surgeon's insistence and excitement.

"Yes baby boy, who's your favorite god mother, huh? Me, yes, I know," Arizona cooed. Marshall didn't understand a bit of what she said but smiled at her friendly tone and glimmering eyes. When they made it to the daycare Arizona's excitement was only matched by Sofia's.

"Momma," the little girl screamed as she ran over to the door, sure not to leave without permission. Arizona gave her the okay and the tyke practically sprinted the rest of the way to her kneeling momma. Sofia immediately grabbed up Marshall's hands and proclaimed her excitement to see him.

"Is he ours? Do we keep him momma?" Sofia looked back and forth between Callie and Arizona hoping that someone would say 'yes'. There amused smiles told her 'no' before anyone had to say anything.

"Sof, this is your god mom Melanie, and this is her little boy Marshall. We don't keep him, but he's our family so we get to love him still, okay" Arizona explained, trying to let the girl down easy. Sofia nodded with less excitement than she started with. The news didn't stop her from asking a million questions about Melanie and Marshall, how often they'd be over, what her duties were as a 'god sister' so to speak. She took on the title proudly, and much to Callie and Arizona's surprise.

And to Sof's dismay she had to go back to daycare while her moms went to surgery. She made sure to kiss Marshall plenty of times before she was off. Her first day as a god sister was off to a splendid start. Arizona showed Melanie to an on-call where she could nurse Marshall and Callie headed off to get changed.

It wasn't until much later that Melanie ran into Mark. She recognized him from the pictures in the house. He looked better in person than he did in photographs. Marshall in hand, she walked over to him and tapped Mark on the shoulder.

"Mark… Mark Sloan?" She looked questioningly into his eyes as he weighed the option of hitting on the mother or just being polite. He went with polite and confirmed his name.

"I'm Dr. Melanie Burnol. I'm Arizona's good friend. You can call me Mel," the blonde offered with a friendly smile. To this Mark thanked himself for not being crass.

"Nice to meet you. Have you met Sofia. Little girl, long dark hair, adorable. That's my kid. Gorgeous isn't she?"

Melanie laughed awkwardly at Marks frank bragging. It was kind of cute how proud he was of Sofia. Melanie knew then that the little Latina was in great hands with so many wonderful parents. Mark put his ego on pause and asked about the baby in the blonde's arms, complimenting his cuteness. Soon they were into a light conversation before Mark asked what brought Melanie into the city.

"I saw Callie and Arizona on the news this morning and I came right away. What happened to them was terrible! Robbins is my absolute best friend, I had to come."

Mark must have looked confused because Melanie continued. "Even though we hardly talk now days –I mean I just met Sofia today, she just met Marshall –that doesn't change the fact that for so many years, she was all I had. I was all she had. We're there when it counts I guess. That's the good thing about family and friends, right?"

Exactly. Mark had missed a few 'when it counts' moments recently, but wasn't about to miss another. He abruptly ended the conversation and said his goodbyes as he hurried through the halls. He had to find Callie. Right now, this crazy time, counted for a lot. He had to be there, even if she didn't want him to be. When Mark found Callie she was scrubbing out of her surgery and thinking about what to cook for dinner. She was caught completely off guard as he rushed into the scrub room.

"I get it, I'm a monster. I hurt you, and Arizona, and Sofia. I hate myself for it. But don't shut me out. Let me be your friend Callie. You're my _best friend_, and I just want to be there for you. So, please I'm begging," Mark blurted out as soon as Callie acknowledged his presence.

She thought for a short second to be mad. She wasn't entirely done being upset with her co-parent but couldn't hold on. She sighed and folded her arms. Her face took on a skeptical smirk as she watched Mark wait nervously. "On one condition," she prompted. Mark promised anything. "Never ever mention favorites, my sex life, or the Sloan Method, ever again. Capiche?"

Mark smiled joyously. She was back! He had his Callie back and had managed not to fall apart while he didn't have her. He walked over with his arms ready to pull Callie into a tight bear hug. She smiled nervously at all the pressure and knew Mark must have been going crazy.

"I'm sorry if I was a bitch Mark. I was hurt, and I didn't have my best friend to talk me through it," she whined, punching Mark's shoulder for emphasis. He just went in for another hug, rocking them side-to-side. They even laughed at how much they missed just being buddies. Mark walked with Callie to the locker rooms and unashamedly went in with her to change back into street clothes.

They were sitting, putting on shoes and belts, when Callie figured she'd put Marks renewed friend duties to use. "Mark has Sofia ever said anything to you about wanting a brother or a sister?"

Mark looked up cautiously and waited for more.

"NO! Not like… _us_ having another baby. I mean, just, has she said anything?"

Relieved Mark replied, "No, not to me. But why, is she asking about babies?"

Callie just thought back to Sofia's reaction to Marshall and couldn't help but melt at the idea of Sofia having a younger sibling who was a little version of Arizona. No doubt Sofia was so much like Callie when she was young. Having a little blonde hair, blue eye, dimpled baby running around wouldn't be so bad. In fact it might be wonderful.

After hearing about Marshall, Mark raised an insinuating brow. "So you want to knock Robbins up?" His impish smile almost annoyed Callie, but instead she laughed.

"I guess…. I do," she said. It was a lot like a question as she was unsure herself. Sofia was still a handful, Callie would need to be dedicated to the Head of Ortho job if she got it, and a newborn complicated things a bit. Still the image was enticing.

An hour or so later everyone was back at home. Sofia was utterly captivated by Marshall, determined to not leave his side unless she absolutely had to. Not one of the three ladies could deny how cute she was trying to take care of him, he was practically half her size.

Arizona especially took note. Melanie had scooped Marshall up and was rocking him gently as Sofia peered over her shoulder, watching the little boy give in to sleep.

"Goodnight baby," the little Latina whispered as he closed his eyes for good. Arizona just looked on, something inside wanting that for herself. Wanting a baby for Sofia to gush over and love and protect. Another baby for her and Callie to raise and care for. And another baby that had _her_ dimples, and _her_ hair. A little Robbins for everyone to love. She thought silently to herself _that would be perfect_.

Later on in the night, when Callie and Arizona lie in the bed, ready for the very long day to come to an end, the peds surgeon thought she should say something. If she wanted a baby, that wasn't totally ridiculous. True, she hadn't wanted kids before but people changed their minds. Arizona wasn't sure if Callie would be open to the idea. Her wife was going for a promotion, they had hit a rough spot in their relationship recently, and now the hate crime stuff. Calliope could easily shoot the idea down. Say it's not the right time. But Arizona thought she should at least suggest it. Maybe they were on the same page.

If she'd known that Callie was on the same page, if she knew how in sync she was with her wife it, would have gone as planned. Instead Arizona started talking about expanding their family. Then she mentioned something about teaching Sofia responsibility, and loyalty, and somehow her nerves were taking her down another road. Somehow, her argument went from let's have a baby, to: "Let's get a dog!"

"What Arizona? Like a pooping, barking, drooling dog? I thought you hated dogs," Callie asked, extremely confused.

"Yeah…." Arizona wasn't really in the place to back out once she stepped in. "I mean no! Dogs are… wonderful. They may have parasites, ticks, fleas, bad breath…" she trailed off because her list was uncontrollably negative. "But, they're great for kids. Don't kids like dogs? Sofia should have a dog," the blonde finished with a tentative smile. Callie stared at her with furled brows and pooched lips of confusion. But Arizona kept smiling and eventually Callie loosened up.

"I like dogs. I had like three when I was a kid. And Sofia, yeah, she'd love it. But are you sure?"

Arizona almost 'fessed up. She almost told Calliope about how she suddenly felt the need to have a baby. How she suddenly understood Callie's sentiments from so long ago. Almost said… but didn't. "Yes. Let's get a dog, it'll be… great!"

She must have feigned her usual cheeriness very well because Callie smiled with genuine excitement. "Okay. We're getting a dog." The brunette leaned over and kissed Arizona's cheek before sliding down into the covers and switching off her lamp. Arizona remained upright for some time, just staring into the darkness. She didn't really care for dogs, she wanted more and more to be a mom again, and somehow wound up with plans to get a pet. This feeling, the aching womb, wasn't going away and now she'd stumbled into yet _another_ responsibility. Figuring out how to be a family of four, plus a dog… this would be an interesting couple of months to come. Interesting in deed.

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**This was kind of fluffy, meant as a transition chapter but I think its fun. A little sexy time in there never hurts ;) Like it, love it, review it! Peace!**

**PS: R&SM will post every other Friday, tumblr link's in my bio :) enjoy the holiday. **


	10. What If I Said No

**Happy Monday. Here's another chapter. How will Arizona deal with her 'dog' request? Can she be honest about wanting another baby? **

**I don't own anything, Grey's Anatomy and it's characters are the result of the lovely Shonda Rhimes. Enjoy!**

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The smell in the animal shelter was unpleasant to say the least. Arizona didn't even try to hide her disgust as everyone walked past the rows of kennels. The blonde had avoided the talk of dogs since she brought it up, hoping it would go away. But the other day Melanie had said something about it in front of Sofia, and it was all over. The little girl was literally jumping for joy at the news.

So it was no surprise that Sofia didn't seem to mind the smell at all. Between helping Melanie push Marshall's stroller, and running over to the cages, she was on cloud nine. The little Latina was too short to see over the stroller as she pushed so she stumbled again and again, walking between the carriage and Melanie's legs.

"Sofia, mija. Why don't you come walk with mami? Godmom can push Marshall by herself," Callie suggested to her baby girl. Sofia gave a little sigh of defeat and looked up to see Melanie nodding in agreement.

"Fine," she whined as she walked over and took her mami's hand. She wasn't there long though because seconds later she was zipping off towards a cage full of tinny puppies. There was a litter of Labs that had an odd mixture of coats. Of the eight pups all but one was black or chocolate brown. Upon seeing the golden pup in the back of the kennel she let out a high pitched squeal.

"Look! That one, can we get that one." Finally the ladies caught up to Sof and peered into the little space. Not only was the puppy boldly different in color, he was much smaller than all the others. While the rest of the pups played and explored the one Sofia spotted was curled up, meekly waiting for someone to take notice.

"Why that one Sof," Callie asked, an eyebrow raised at her daughter's strange choice.

"Yeah sweety, that one looks… sickly," Arizona added, forgetting that she should be more sensitive about such things with her daughter. The little girl was always very adamant about what she wanted and surely picking a puppy was no different. Callie shot her wife a peevish look. Now there was no way Sofia was leaving without that dog.

"It's got hair like momma's, and if it's sick we should help it. You can doctor it, right momma?"

Arizona mentally kicked herself. She might have been able to tolerate a normal dog. _If_ someone cleaned it, and walked it, and kept it away from her most of the time. Now there was a 100% chance they were going home with an undernourished runt everyone would have to help with. Great!

"Yeah momma, can't you doctor it," Callie repeated with a chastising monotone. Arizona just smiled a grin of meager shame hoping to gain some pity from her stern wife.

"Uhhhh... sure thing munchkin. We'll fix him right up… if _you're_ _sure_ that's the one you want," Arizona replied to her girl. Sofia shook her head emphatically, a smile spreading all the way across her face. Melanie laughed at the strained smile Arizona wore in attempts to hide her chagrin. Callie joined in, rolling her eyes at the nervous look on her wife's face. It still hadn't occurred to her that Arizona suggested a dog in place of a baby.

It should have been obvious though. Melanie stayed for a whole week, and would have stayed longer the way things were going. Between Arizona and Sofia, Marshall hardly spent any time with his real mom. Melanie enjoyed the break, and thought it was cute, but Callie didn't think much of it, aside from her own quiet desire to have another baby too.

When they got home, the two kids, three ladies, and the puppy, it was time for lunch. Sofia marched in the door first, her arms busy with the squirmy pup. In the kennel the dog seemed timid, but the moment him and Sofia met he took on an entirely new personality. He ran, nipped, and pounced. Sof could hardly control her excitement as when there were signing all the paper work and put a little collar around his gushy neck.

Once she was far enough in the door, the Latina sat her new friend down and welcomed him home. He sat attentively while she talked to him as if he understood.

"This is the kitchen, don't go in there. This is the front room, don't chew nothing. Over there is my room, you can sleep in there. That's mami and momma's room, stay out of there too. And that's the bathroom, but you pee outside. Okay?" The little guy just titled his head at her words.

"I don't know if he understands you Soffie," Melanie said with a chuckle. Sofia turned around with a look of concern.

"But I'm talking real slow." To this all three women laughed. The whole thing was beyond adorable. No one even noticed when the yet-to-be-named Labrador took off down the hall. And when he found a nice smelling corner he politely relieved himself, much to Sofia's dismay.

"Nooo! Bad puppy!" Callie threw her hands up with frustration. And so it began! Arizona tried to seem busy with Marshall as Callie looked around for a volunteer to clean.

"Oh no don't worry, I got it," she dead-panned as she went over to the cabinet to get cleaning stuff. Arizona watched out the corner of her eye as Callie soaked up the little puddle and sprayed some cleaner on the floor. If the shorter blonde had the option, she'd always avoid cleaning up after the tiny dog. Eventually though Callie wouldn't keep letting her off the hook. The dog was her idea after all.

When the pee problem was handled and Callie suggested her and Sofia take the dog for a walk. They got him strapped in to his little harness and made plans to pick a name before they got back. As the door closed Arizona blew Callie a kiss, which got a playful smirk in return.

"Since when do you like dogs," Melanie asked the suspicious looking peds surgeon.

"I thought it'd be good for Sofia. Oh yeah, tiny humans love dogs." Melanie raised an eyebrow as Arizona nodded her head, truly trying to convince herself.

"Ms. Robbins..." Melanie pried. The way Arizona was gnawing the inside of her jaw made it quite obvious she was hiding something. The shorter blonde rolled her eyes knowing she'd been caught by her friend.

"Okay fine! I don't like dogs, I mean _really_ don't like them. But... Well I wanted to tell Callie ... I was trying to tell her, it just wouldn't come out. I just... I want a baby," Zo revealed sheepishly. Melanie was struck with utter surprise. Arizona had obviously changed her idea of a happy family, and in a serious way. The two friends had always talked about how they never wanted kids, and especially didn't want to go through pregnancy. Now, Melanie was listening to her friend talk about a desire for both. It was baffling.

"Don't give me that look. No, you don't get to be surprised… uh hello," Arizona said gesturing towards Marshall. The little boy giggled when he saw the women looking his way. Melanie knew she couldn't judge Arizona. Marshall was the love of her life. He was so happy, and full of life. If she could go back and start life anew, Marshall would be the first thing she kept.

"Look at him Mel. He's beautiful. And you just threw him in my life and now… now I want that. Does that make me crazy?" Arizona was smiling unashamedly at her godson. He threw his arms around joyously, excited to just be noticed, and be with two people who loved him so very much. Melanie nodded her head, not taking her eyes off her son. No, Arizona wasn't crazy. In fact, with Sofia around, it was a wonder how she managed to stave off the baby craving this long. Children did more than present a new way to love. Children brought purpose, meaning, and a new level of fulfillment to life. Arizona felt like a mother, 100% without a doubt. But now she wanted more of that feeling. She wanted the moments with Sofia and Marshall, to never end.

"So, why did you get a dog? A puppy and a newborn is a lot to handle," Melanie asked. Arizona shrugged. She regretted the whole night, but would have to deal with it for Sofia's sake.

"I was trying to make a case for a baby. Get Callie on the same page and… and then '_dog'_ came out instead of baby. I asked for a freaking dog…" Arizona plopped down on the bar stool in the kitchen and let her head fall back. What was she going to do now?

Melanie chuckled a bit at the sight of her forsaken buddy. "Just tell her. The only way you guys are going to get on the same page is if you _just say it_." Arizona brought her head up and was going to give some excuse, but Melanie just shot her a look of finality. So she furled the corner of her lip, reluctantly accepting the instructions.

Just then the door opened and Sofia and _Rillo_ came hurling into the house. To be tiny and thin, the little Lab had some strength about him. Enough to pull Sofia around at least. The little Latina shouted amusedly as her and the dog stumbled over each other and ran into her room, out of sight in a flash.

"We named him Rillo. Like short for amarillo- yellow," Callie said dropping her keys on the kitchen counter. Arizona did her best to seem excited and Melanie just gave her silent orders to talk to her wife. Callie didn't notice the blondes' wordless back and forth. She went into the fridge and poured herself some water. "I mean Sof is definitely your daughter the way she obsesses over everything bright and colorful," Callie joked. Finally the blondes were paying attention and they laughed at the accuracy of the statement. Callie wasn't much for 'Easter Egg' colors, but her girls certainly loved anything light, bright, and dainty.

From there the three ladies went on talking about whatever came to mind. Over the course of the week they talked less and less about the hate crime and were forming a strong friendship. Nothing was off limits by the end of the week. They talked about baby problems, toddler problems, spousal problems, work problems, all types of problems… and sometimes they found a _solution_ that seemed feasible opposed to comical.

So at the end of the week, when Melanie finally had to leave, it wasn't as easy as expected. While Callie and Sofia gathered some of Marshall's things from around the house Arizona and her friend stood by the door, avoiding goodbye. Arizona was squeezing Marshall's cheeks together, eliciting light baby laughs, so she didn't have to look at her friend.

So she couldn't be avoided any longer Melanie mumbled Arizona's name as not to grab Callie's attention too. "Arizona…" she repeated, "promise you'll tell her," she added once the peds surgeon looked up.

"Fine, fine. I promise." Arizona gave her godson another peck on the cheek and handed him over. "I didn't even know how much I missed you until you showed up Mel. Thank you," she said, tears forming in her baby blues. Melanie pulled her into a hug, holding her as tight as she could with the baby between them. "And you sir. I missed you and I didn't even know you yet," she added, kissing Marshall yet again.

"We'll be in town much more often. I swear!" The taller blonde threw up her hand and flashed scout's honor to prove her sincerity.

Arizona slanted her eyes and said, "You better. Because I miss you already. And you too, Marshall boo." More kisses ensued. Callie and Sofia had everything together and joined the women by the door. Melanie thanked Callie and Sof for all the help, hugging them too.

"Please don't be a stranger," Callie said, feeling she had gained a close friend that week. "I don't know why my wife was hiding you, but you're family and we'd love to have you anytime." Sofia chimed in with her own invitation for her godmom and brother to return as soon as possible. Melanie assured everyone she'd keep in touch from now on. Then sadly she had to return to her life in the Seattle suburbs.

A little while after Melanie had gone Callie and Arizona sat in the kitchen looking over kindergarten information while Sofia tried her best to teach Rillo to sit. Callie was slowly being convinced that Seattle Developmental was the school for Sofia when Rillo left the girl and came stampeding into the kitchen, knocking over a bar stool, and running into the cabinets.

"Rillo!" Callie yelled, grabbing the pup's attention long enough to scoop him up. She held him at eye level and scorned him for being too rambunctious, not that he understood. In fact Callie knew he was oblivious because all he did was wag his tail excitedly. Already she had a soft spot for the pet and she just pressed her nose into his wrinkly neck and smiled. "What are we going to do with you," she asked rhetorically.

"Mami, Rillo es perro malo," Sofia said standing at her mami's feet.

"Si, mija. Pero es joven, y todos perros pequenos son malos. No problema mi niña dulce. When he's bigger he'll be a good boy," Callie answered. She handed the puppy to Sofia who almost toppled over carrying him back to her room.

"That dog is something else," the brunette said to her wife as she replaced the bar stool. Arizona said a quick word of agreement and went on about her kindergarten choice. Callie didn't think much of it until she heard a tapping foot. Arizona only tapped her foot when she was nervous.

"Arizona Robbins Torres. You have 30 seconds to fess up. What's wrong?" the blonde's head shot up from the forms she was looking over. Her eyes were wide with nervous anticipation of the conversation she didn't know how to have. Callie just stared her down, not one inch of relent in her gaze. There was no escaping this time. Arizona took a deep breath and looked her wife squarely in the eye.

"I still hate dogs Calliope." after an awkward silence Callie folded her arms with disappointment.  
"Arizona, then why do we have a dog," she asked. She kind of knew all along how Arizona felt but went along with it anyway.

"I do want our family to grow, and for Sofia to have a new role and responsibility. But... I wasn't going for a dog per say," Arizona trailed off. Her eyes wandered around the room, avoiding Callie's impatient expression. But eventually that expression softened as Callie came to the realization that Arizona was asking for another baby.

"Wait. Arizona are you saying what I think you're saying?" The brunette crept closer to her wife who still avoided looking at her. She took hold of her waist and tilted her head down so she couldn't miss the timidity in Arizona's sapphire eyes.

"You're going to think I'm crazy. Before Sofia I was so adamant about it. And I know I seem like a hypocrite. But... Maybe it was seeing Sof and Marshall together you know? I just... I want that Calliope. Is that terrible coming from me," Arizona asked cautiously. Now a smile overtook Callie's face. She wished Arizona had been honest from the beginning, even though she took a liking to their runt of a dog.  
"Are you kidding? You're talking to me here. Ms. Intoxicating-baby-smell. If you want _nine_ more kids Arizona, I'm gonna be right there supporting you, okay?" Callie looked deep into blue orbs to be sure her wife knew how serious she was being. And when she was certain, her mind became amused with their current predicament.

"So the dog thing was what? Was that going to replace a baby?" Arizona rolled her eyes. She had really been quite silly.

"No! I just went temporarily insane, that's all," she replied playfully. Callie nodded amusedly, the things they got themselves into sometimes was hysterical.

Then there was a moment where she just let herself get lost in Arizona's radiant beauty. She could have spent a whole lifetime gazing at her wife, and another forever raising their 10 kids. Callie's endearing gaze made Arizona blush and drop her eyes to Callie's heart-shaped pendant. Something about how vulnerable Zo seemed made Callie wonder why she was so nervous in the first place.

"Zo, tell me something. Did you seriously think I'd be against this? What if I said no... Then what?" The blonde shrugged a little while she thought. She didn't have a concrete answer. She knew it was a big decision and maybe not the perfect time. She also knew her heart was almost aching for the chance to have another little bundle of joy in the house. There was no way to sort through it all and know whether she would have fought for another baby, or left the decision to Callie. Who knows if she could have ignored the primal urge to expand her family.

"Honestly... I don't know. The more I think about it the more I want it. _It's all I can think about_ since Mel showed up."

"Me too. I mean Sofia would be a great big sister. And I know we've seen some lows lately but... I am more in love with you everyday. We still have so much love to give." Arizona shook her head in sincere agreement. No doubt she loved Calliope more and more each an every minute, no matter what happened. The blonde had to bite her bottom lip to stifle the squeal tickling he throat. A giddy grin took over her features, brandished with perfect dimples.

"So... We're having a baby?"

"Uh huh, we are," Callie confirmed, her expression mirroring Arizona's. Now there was no holding back the blonde's glee and she yelped with joy, her arms flying around her wife's neck.

"Ahhh! We're having _a baby_"

They shared a kiss swelling with unbridled happiness. Already their new baby was restoring that part of their marriage. Upon hearing all the commotion Sofia and Rillo came trotting down the hall. The little Latina climbed up onto a bar stool and sat her head in her hands, contently observing her moms embrace for a while longer.

"How can we help you Ms. Sofia," Arizona asked with a big smile. The munchkin just gestured that there was nothing she required. "Then how about we bake some cookies," Arizona added. Usually cookies were for weekends, but it was Friday and the mood was light. Cookies were all too appropriate!

By the time Sofia and her momma were done, the kitchen was a mess. Even Rillo was covered in flour, which he tracked all over the apartment. While Callie and their daughter ate cookies over a movie, Arizona surprisingly offered to clean up after the pup. She even brushed him off so he didn't look so grey. Somewhere in the middle of Toy Story Arizona joined her girls on the couch. Though Sof fell asleep pretty early, the women sat half watching and half daydreaming. There they were, in their home, with a beautiful baby nestled between them, their arms around each other, and a little companion curled up at their feet. It wasn't hard at all to imagine the moment as even better with another little boy or girl. In fact, that's all either woman could picture for the rest of the night.

Even though the couple had finally gotten on the same page about their family they still took some time before making serious plans. They both kind of figured Arizona would term the pregnancy this time, but their were plenty of unknowns. Before anything got too serious Callie thought it would be important to tell Mark. Her and Arizona's sex life was none of his business but a new baby would affect Sofia and therefore Mark deserved to be included.

The next weekend Callie made sure Mark met her at Joe's after work. He was definitely being a much more supportive friend lately, but something about him seemed off. Cal couldn't put her finger on it so she just let it slide. As she got changed after her shift she could feel butterflies beating in her stomach. She tried to will them away, but with no success at all. She didn't know why she felt nervous. She had was good news that would only elicit cheeky grins and dirty jokes. Something else was wrong and Callie had no idea it was coming.

Once in Joe's the ortho surgeon hooked her purse onto her chair and took a seat. Not too long ago she was at that very bar trying to get her ass home, and avoid marital disaster. To be back in that seat with plans for another baby felt like a huge victory for her relationship. It marked the beginning stages of moving past her mistakes.

As Joe slid Callie two beers her friend popped up to relieve her of one. Mark took a seat next to Callie and inhaled almost half his drink. He dropped the bottle with a resounding thud. Though he had just arrived there was already a tight silence. Callie peaked at him out the corner of her eye, assessing his mood. Watching him rub his temples she figured he had just been through a couple bad surgeries.

"Bad day," she suggested. She sipped her own drink precariously, still glancing over at Mark intermittently.

"I just have a _lot_ going on up here," he said, gesturing to his greying head. "I need a drink. Or two." Joe walked over and saw Mark's despondent expression. By the look on the bartender's face Mark had an idea of just how bad it was. "Three! Make it three," he concluded.

Instead of just diving right in Callie made some small talk with the plastics specialist. They found themselves eventually laughing. It was a wonderful feeling to being laughing together again. And against their better judgment they wound up knocking back shots in attempts to out-do one another. Truly they were meant to be friends, both too strong-headed to let the other get any glory.

"No, no, no," Callie said waving her hands at the next round. "I'm _through_!" Mark threw his hands up in the air triumphantly. All the brunette could do was roll her eyes and take the loss with grace.

"It's okay Torres. I'm a man. Biologically wired to get wasted," he said with an inebriated sense of humor. The two continued to sit and talk, catching up on things they let go unsaid for the last couple of months. When a lull in the chit-chat came, Callie figured it would be as good a time as any.

"We got a dog," she started, circling her finger around the rim of her glass. "Sofia is over the moon about it. You should see her trying to carry him, he's half her size," the proud mami added with a light chuckle. Mark smiled at the mental image. "And we named him Rillo. He's just the skinniest, scruffiest little yellow Lab ever. Sofia picked him out of all the others. It's like she knew no one else would and wanted to help him. She's got an amazing little heart." Callie knew she didn't have to gush to Mark. They both took the same pride in Sofia and her growing personality.

"She get's it from you, ya know," Mark all but whispered. Callie grinned a little before nudging her friend with her shoulder. "Seriously. You have the biggest heart Callie. And you and Arizona are great moms. The best moms Sofia could have."

Something was solemn about Mark's voice. It was heavy with emotions Callie couldn't figure out. What was causing her best friend so much strife?

"Hey? You okay there," she asked, craning her neck to see Mark more clearly. He straightened himself up, took a deep breath, and turned towards the brunette.

"I'm moving to LA," he finally said. Callie's face said more than words could have. And good thing, because none came. She was somewhere between sad and angry, not able to land on one side or the other. Her eyes rattled back and forth as her mind tried, tried desperately, to make sense of it.

_No_ she thought. _No you cannot move. You cannot leave me, and Sofia. This is a family, we are family! You don't get to run away, or bail, or whatever this is. We just decided that you owe it to me to be a better friend. You cannot!_

She thought loudly. In her head she was screaming. Her heart was falling, echoing the sentiments. But her mouth only managed to ask, "moving to LA?"

* * *

**Okay, so yes I'm writing Mark out of my fic. I want to spend more time exploring Calzona in more independent way. Hope you all enjoyed this chapter, review please! Peace, until next Monday-after-next.**


	11. Some Space

**Callie takes a moment to sit and reflect. If her friend is only moving…maybe things will be okay?**

_She thought loudly. In her head she was screaming. Her heart was falling, echoing the sentiments. But her mouth only managed to ask, "moving to LA?"_

* * *

"I got a job offer at LA Presbytarian. And I'm going…next week."

"Next week," Callie groaned unable to process the suddenness of it all. "But…I don't get it. What about Sofia? What about me?" Her eyes rattled around anxiously, not sure what was happening.

Mark grabbed on to one of Callie's shoulders and tried to sober his mind. That didn't go over so well so he shook his head a few times to clear it. "I got to do this Torres. I'm no good here. I'm alone, I'm bitter most days, and I'm not the man I was."

Tears swell in Callie's eyes because, even through his tipsy slur, she could hear Mark's sincerity. She could feel how utterly disappointed he was in himself. But that didn't change how she felt about him. All they'd been through, all their shared, was much more important than some stupid job in LA.

"No. You don't get to runaway because you messed up Mark. You stay, and make it better. Stay!" Callie wasn't sure if she was ordering him or pleading at this point. One single tear rolled down her cheek and Mark couldn't stand to watch. His eyes dropped to the floor and his grip on her shoulder loosened.

"I think…" he started, then looked back up with a new resolve. "…you deserve more than me. More than some complicated reminder of the past. I'm not leaving Callie, I'm just giving you the space to be the woman you're meant to be."

Suddenly crying at Joe's didn't feel like a big deal. Callie released her tears and let them take over her expression. Mark tried his best to look sympathetic and reassuring. He pulled her into a hug and she clung to the sleeves of his leather coat for dear life. She figured the moment she let go, he'd be gone.

"Hey, stop that Torres. I'll be fine. You'll be fine. LA is like a 5 minute flight from here. I won't be a stranger. Sofia can spend summer vacation out on the beach with her old dad. It'll be fun." Callie pulled back and tried to smile. She tried to let this be okay, because it seemed her friend had a plan. One that would make him happy too.

She licked her lips and tried wet her mouth, the dryness coming up as her emotions ran rampant. She had all but forgotten what she had come to say. The baby plans seemed oddly overshadowed now.

Now they had to tell Sofia her daddy was moving. Now they had to rethink every holiday, reconsider all their plans, everything had to be redone. Hell, having a baby was going to be the easy part. So… Callie just blurted it out, to hell with tact. "We're having another a baby," she muttered, shaking her head at the pure information overload they were sharing.

"Torres, I knew that the day that little boy and the hot blonde came to town. You two, Sofia, and the kid where like a freaking Christmas card. I don't blame you." His wry humor actually got a smile out of Callie as she thought about the day Melanie showed up with Marshall. It was amazing how instantaneous her revelation was, and Arizona's as well. They both had this new dream for their family that they shared. It was like everything was going to fall into place for once. Go the way Callie planned it.

That was until Mark dropped this bomb. It was going to throw a wrench in things but maybe it would all work out. _Hopefully_, it would all work out.

"Come here," Mark ordered, opening his arms to Callie again. As she fell into them he rubbed her back calmly. "We'll be the same family as before. I promise."

"Don't make promises you can't keep, Mark."

* * *

Arizona looked at Sofia with excitement when she heard the lock on the door turn over. "Mami's home. You remember the plan?" she asked the little girl.

Sofia nodded her head quickly and ran to the door. Arizona scurried off to the bedroom with Rillo in toe. She wasn't a fan of his but he didn't seem to care, as he followed her everywhere. She frowned when he ran into her feet once she stopped at the foot of the bed. "Hey you, shoo!"

The gruff pup just tilted his head to the side confusedly before taking a seat. "Okay fine, stay. But don't pee," Arizona acquiesced. She gathered up the bags she had atop the covers and held them up for when Callie came in.

"Mami mami, come see," Sofia urged as she led Callie to the master bedroom by her hand (or the few fingers Sof could grab). "Me and momma got a surprise for you."

Callie already had a huge smile on her face from hearing the excitement in Sofia's voice. "Okay I'm coming little lady. Slow down."

At the bedroom door her eyes quickly focused on her beautiful wife and the stuff in Arizona's arms. "What's all this," she asked. The blonde just smiled playfully while she walked over and took the bags. Callie set them on the bed and Sofia climbed up to watch while everything was opened. The first thing Callie pulled out was a shirt for Sofia that read- I DON'T LIKE SHARING MY MOMS BUT I MANAGE. It was pink, with glittery words, and Sofia had picked it out herself.

"Well that's fitting," Callie chuckled, looking at her very spoiled 5-year-old. Then she pulled out another shirt, most likely for Arizona, that read- I'M WITH MY WIFE AND KIDS. Callie just shook her head at how seriously corny these things were. She went on and pulled the next one out anyway. It was black and v-neck and her size, of course. The back had the same lettering as the other two and said- ONE WIFE, TWO KIDS, DEAL WITH IT.

"You two are ridiculous," she exclaimed through her heavy laughter. The sassy punch line was her favorite so far. And finally she got out the last shirt, or onesie to be exact. Colored a neutral powder blue it complimented the others perfectly- THEY LOVE ME BECAUSE I'M THE BABY.

"I know it's only been a week since we made this whole decision but… Sof knows, now Mark knows, and I just really couldn't help myself," Arizona explained as Callie just continued to smile at the clothes. Sofia picked her shirt up and held it to her body to model it some. Her mami snatched her off the bed and sat her on her hip.

"I think this was the best surprise ever." She kissed Sofia's head and then leaned over to kiss her wife too. "It's perfect."

Arizona was glad that Callie liked everything but saw something unsettling in her wife's eyes. There was more than the immediate joy flickering through those brown orbs. She pursed her lips with contemplative concern before reaching for Sofia. "Hey Miss Sof, can you do momma a favor? Take Rillo in your room for a bit and play. Me and mami need to talk please." The little Latina had no qualms with playing with her puppy so her and the dog sped out the room exictedly.

Once her momma heard them in the room down the hall she closed the bedroom door. "How'd it go? What did Mark say," Arizona asked. She watched cautiously as Callie fiddled with the onesie in her hand and plopped down on the bed. It was clearly something bothering her wife, and she really wanted Callie to open about it. "Everything okay?"

Callie shook her drooping head, never looking up from the blue fabric. "Mark's leaving," she said quietly. Arizona wasn't sure what that meant but continued to listen. "Tomorrow he's taking a flight to LA to see about a job offering at Presbyterian. If it goes well he's moving…next week," she said with a huff. It seemed unbelievable all over again as she recanted the story for her wife.

Arizona knit her brow as she joined Callie on the bed. "I'm confused. Is he not planning on being in Sofia's life, or your life for that matter? I know we argue, and all the back forth. Don't get me started on favorites. But he's her dad and she loves him and-" Callie looked at the blonde with an overwhelmed frown. "I'm not helping am I?"

"It's not that he's leaving as much as he's 'giving us space'… And I don't even know what that means," Callie thought, not sure why it seemed like a clear explanation when Mark said it. "I don't know what we're going to tell Sof… Oh hey munchkin. Dad's moving a thousand miles away, no big deal."

"Well I wouldn't put it like that," Arizona said with a tight, and slightly horrified, expression. "She'd freak out."

"_I'm_ freaking out," Callie shouted, not meaning to sound so undone. The volume caught Arizona off guard and she realized how worried her wife was. The brunette had made it through a lot of battles with Mark by her side, and probably questioned her ability to do so without him.

"You don't have to freak out Calliope. I know you and Mark have a thing. _Me_ and Mark have a thing too. He's easy to… 'thing' with. That's why we love him. But if you're scared about raising Sofia, or getting through stress at work, or anything else without him, you have to remember you have me. Okay?"

And in that moment Callie felt pretty silly. She was worried about losing someone else from her life that she relied on, but truth be told, her relationship with Mark wasn't ending. It was only changing some. Any holes left behind would be easily filled with Arizona's love and support. Her wife was going to always be there, and that's what meant the most. Sure she would miss Mark, but she certainly wouldn't fall apart. Not with the most amazing partner anyone has ever had.

Callie looked up and gave a sigh of relief. "You're all I need…you know that?"

Arizona gave a dimpled grin and stole another chaste kiss on the cheek. "Because I'm awesome. Yes I know."

The ortho surgeon laughed softly before pulling the blonde back in by the nape of her neck. The next kiss was more intense, and much more expressive of all the hope and joy Callie felt in the moment. She peeled away slowly and sought comfort in Arizona's eyes. Right away she felt a million times better.

"We're having a baby," she whispered, the hushed words settling between them. Arizona's face lit up with joy because every time she thought about it her heart sang.

"Yeah. We're going to have two babies," she added giddily. "Well, a baby and a very adult kindergartener." Both women laughed at the comment on Sofia's personality. She was a little ball of sassy energy, and going to be the perfect big sister.

They had told her a few days after Melanie left that the plan was to have another child. Her first reaction was confusion, because she only had a faint idea of how their family worked. She knew daddy and mami weren't married because mami and momma were married. But she also knew from school that brother's and sisters had the same mom and dad. So she questioned where a sibling would come from if mami and daddy weren't together. Her parents had to explain to her that every family is different and it's not DNA that makes you a family. It's love.

Once Sofia wrapped her head around that she was more excited than either mother. She had so many questions and suggestions about her role as big sister. She was already planning what books to read, when they'd wear matching outfits, playing in the park, sharing Rillo, and just all types of things. There wasn't a day that'd gone by that she didn't bring it up. Arizona and Callie hoped that this didn't come back to bite them later.

For now they were going to take their planning one step at a time. There was no rush even though the whole family was excited, and especially since things were going to be a little different than expected. Sofia was going to go from being an only child of three close parents, to sharing her moms and having a long-distance dad. It was going to be a challenge telling her.

"We have to tell our kindergartner that her daddy's moving. I'm not too stoked about that," Callie said, her hand still resting on Arizona neck. The blonde brought it forward into her own hand and squeezed it lovingly.

"We'll do it together, and she'll understand eventually. But let's wait until we know for sure. No need in getting her worked up for nothing."

"Yeah… we'll wait until Mark get's back." They fell into a comfortable silence before starting up a conversation about dinner. Callie wanted chicken, Arizona wanted fish, and it wouldn't be a surprise if Sofia just wanted peanut butter and jelly. They settled on ordering pizza and went about folding up their family shirts to be stored somewhere safe. They weren't going to need them just yet.

"Hey little munchkin? What kind of pizza do you want," Callie called down the hall. When she didn't get an answer she made her way to Sofia's room and peeked her head in the door. "Sof, mija?"

On the floor by her bed- almost the same spot where Callie found her sick that terrible night- she was sitting with Rillo laid out across her lap. She was ready to him from absolute favorite book, _Amelia Bedelia_. Sof actually didn't know how to read that particular book very well. It was a bit beyond her years, but she loved it all the same. And since she knew it by heart it was almost as if she could read it, other than her words not always coinciding with the page she was on.

"Whatcha doin? I was calling you missy," Callie asked, stepping further into the room.

"I'm practicing reading for the baby. Rillo is the baby right now," Sofia explained. She held up the book so her mami could see that the puppy was fast asleep. "I'm good at bedtime stories mami. I got Rillo to sleep fast."

"You sure did mija. How about you come hang with me and momma until the pizza get's here. We can watch a little TV." Sofia put on a stellar smile and scurried to her feet so she could join her moms.

"Can we get pizza with pine-ples," the little one asked as she followed her mami down the hall. "I like pine-ples."

"We can get _pine-apples_. Can you say that? _Pineapples_?" Sofia fumbled with the word a few more times before getting it to come out almost right. The pride in her eyes upon saying it correctly was amusingly cute. "That's it! You're just so smart mija."

Arizona was already digging through a drawer of menus in the kitchen, when her two girls returned from the Sofia's room. She was a little frustrated that she couldn't find the menu to their favorite pizza place anywhere in the drawer. "Grrr, where is it! It should be here. Like right here. I know I put-"

"Here?" Callie asked holding it out from its spot tacked on a corkboard in the kitchen. Arizona smacked her head goofily before snatching the stupid thing down.

"I know I put it back in the drawer," she said. Arizona didn't like being wrong even when it was very obvious. "Someone must have moved it." Callie laughed at the stubbornness of her wife as she dialed the pizza place. She put in an order for a pepperoni and a pineapple pizza. She was told it'd be thirty minutes and then ended the call.

"What's good on TV," Callie asked as they all moved to the living room. Arizona offered her suggestion and Callie jokingly replied, "You sure that's the channel? Nobody moved it?"

She received a firm smack in the arm after the joke registered with the blonde. Sofia was the one who made the final decision and they all watched an episode of Dora the Explorer. When the pizza came the TV went off, they ate as a family, and got ready for bed.

"I'm not even sleepy," Sofia suggested as her momma helped get her into pajamas. The big yawns she let out betrayed her though. "Can I stay with you all? Me and Rillo will be good." Arizona smiled at her little lady who seemed to be growing up far to quickly. She hated saying no but was trying to be more of a firm hand.

"You have school in the morning Miss Sofia. You and Rillo need some sleep. Now good night." She lifted the girl into her bed and tucked her in. She even let Rillo stay curled up at the foot. "Don't pee," she commanded before clicking on the night light and slinking out the room.

When she got back to her bedroom Callie was sitting up on the bed with her laptop open and a look of deep concentration. She was scrolling nonstop and the glow of the screen made her look very intense. "Working on something for ortho," Arizona asked as she walked to her side of the bed.

"Oh…" Callie responded suddenly after being a bit lost her thoughts. "No. I'm researching our options. There's a lot to choose from you know. Making Sofia was easy. Just take-"

"Ahh! Spare me the details…"

"Right, um…for _this_ baby, we can do IVF; artificial insemination, either a donor or someone we know. We could have it so Sofia and the baby are blood relatives." Callie looked up from the screen and saw the mortified look on Arizona's face.

"Calliope Robbins Torres. If you think Mark Sloan's…_material_, is getting anywhere near my vagina, you have another thing coming," she said with heavy finality.

"_Oh_ _kayyyy_. Well there's still donor; IUI; all these options. It's really actually a lot to think about." Callie ran a hand through her hair and felt the stress overcoming her already. It hadn't even been a solid hour worth of preparation and things weren't looking so simple.

"Woah there Speedy Gonzalez. Let's just talk about what we want out of this pregnancy first. Then we find a way to have a baby that fits into that plan." Callie nodded slowly before slouching back into the pillows. She closed her laptop and invited Arizona to settle down with her. The blonde scooched over and wriggled her way into that familiar nook of Callie's form.

"Why do you love Sofia so much," the brunette asked as they lay there silently. "I mean the whole scenario wasn't your dream, and I get that. So how is that you love her more than anything else?"

"It's because she reminds me of everything I love about you Calliope. She's a part of you that I get to hold, and kiss, and care for. Being Sof's momma was like falling in love all over again," Arizona answered honestly. She had never had an easier time explaining something so complex. It wasn't everyday that someone found the love of her life, yet Arizona had managed that much. And then having that experience again, and some subtle version of that everyday she woke up, was perfect. Nothing shy of absolute perfection…even when things were less than ideal.

"Then that's what I want," Callie said. She looked down at Arizona, catching those bright blue eyes. "I want a baby that's just like you. With your smile, your hair, and your laugh. I'd give anything to have more of you in my life, Arizona." The blonde just smiled, completely understanding of her wife's sentiment. "If that's okay with you?"

Arizona didn't bother answering. She just took Callie's hand in her own and pressed it to her lips. She moved in closer to the brunettes form and let her eyes shut. Being in that spot was like being in her own paradise. There was no worry, or pain, or heartache when she nestled against Callie, her heart fluttering in her eyes. Despite the recent struggles, their love had not changed, at least not for the worst. It was better, stronger, more determined than ever. So Arizona didn't feel the need say anything else. If they had a family with a little Calliope and miniature Robbins running around, then that sounded good to her.

* * *

Callie was worried. Very, very worried. Mark left for LA the next day, like he said at Joe's. He had an early flight, the meeting with the hospital board at noon, and was going to visit Addison sometime after that. His return flight was scheduled to land early the day after and Callie was going to pick him up.

"I told him to call. I don't know why he doesn't listen to me. Seriously I could kill him," Callie said as she paced the apartment. She was already late for work and only getting more and more anxious as the time ticked by. Where the hell was Mark?

Arizona tried to suggest he just missed his flight, which might have made sense if Mark wasn't overtly punctual. Then they thought maybe a visit with Addison turned into a _visit _with Addison. Surely Mark might miss a flight after that. Still, it didn't explain why in the world he hadn't called to tell Callie. It was not like him to be so incredibly inconsiderate, at least not on purpose.

"Oh my God! Look I've gotta go. Can you get him when he calls? I have surgery in an hour now," Callie whined. Arizona walked over and rubbed her shoulders to try and relax her a bit.

"No big deal. Go be amazing and I'll get our daughter's father even though he's probably being an irresponsible horndog right about now." The joke got a giggle out of Callie and earned Arizona a kiss before the brunette was out the door with Sofia right with her. "By ladies," the peds surgeon called down the hall. As she watched them disappear into the stairwell she noticed that familiar plunge in her heart, that feeling of falling once more.

But her joy did not last much further into the morning. Since she was not nearly as concerned as Callie had been she thought it'd be best to pass the time with some morning news. Never did she expect to see what was being reported at the 9 o'clock hour.

Callie was just as struck. She stood in the atrium of the hospital waiting in line for coffee. Sofia was being impatient so she told the little girl to watch the news while they waited. It was always playing on the big screens near the waiting room. In hindsight, she would have skipped the coffee to avoid the broadcast. She would have skipped work, or waking up all together, if it meant this wasn't real. She would have lived in the night her and Arizona talked about the baby, forever if she could. Because two mornings later, _this_ morning, was not one Callie wanted to live with.

_This morning at 5am there was a plane crash 70 miles outside of Los Angeles. It was a Boeing 747 carrying 163 passengers along with the flight crew; it's destination- Seattle, WA. As the plane reached a low cruising altitude of 10,000 ft there were reports of heavy turbulence from the pilot into flight control. He gained clearance to increase altitude to 13,000 ft just minutes before the crash. Investigators with the airline assume that there was a technical problem with the planes ascension engines. So far, the hospital in Bakersfield, CA has reported only 6 survivors, with 147 pronounced dead, and 10 unrecovered bodies. Families trying to locate loved ones can call this number on the screen. Police say they will be appropriating most of their time to identifying victims and arranging that their bodies be sent home to rest. RDN News- Maggie Kolinsky. _

"Mami what does that mean: pane crash? Is that like a car crash mami?...Mami?...what's a matter? Why you crying for?"

* * *

**I'm back, and slightly dark and twisty, and did you miss me? Well I hope so!**


	12. Dead Space

**Enjoy everyone. I hope you like it as much as I do, thought it's a little grim.**

* * *

_In hindsight, she would have skipped the coffee to avoid the broadcast. She would have skipped work, or waking up all together, if it meant this wasn't real. She would have lived in the night her and Arizona talked about the baby forever, if she could. Because two mornings later- this morning- was not one Callie wanted to live with_

_..._

_"Mami what does that mean: pane crash? Is that like a car crash mami?...Mami?...what's a matter? Why you crying for?"_

* * *

"Mami," Sofia whines again. Her voice has become filled with fright and her face is wrought with confusion. She knows that tears mean sadness but she has never seen her mother cry so openly. It's a lot for her to witness.

Finally Bailey walked pass and saw the red-faced Latina out the corner of her eye. She did a double take and didn't even hesitate to approach. She was too short to block Callie's view of the screen so she firmly pulled her head down by her chin and asked what was wrong.

"Torres? What's going on..." Her voice softened as she realized how petrified her friend was. She could see Callie's body trembling slightly.

Immediately she refocused on Sofia. "Hey little lady," she cooed as she swooped the girl off her feet. "Let's get you to daycare okay?"

The raven-haired girl just nodded softly, her eyes still trained on her mom, along with Bailey's. Miranda took a step back in front of Callie and whispered,

"Go! I don't know where, but I'll cover for you. Just go..."

Callie didn't know very well where she was going. She knew she was having trouble breathing in the hospital. Outside the air was crisp and it soothed the burning in her lungs. She wandered a bit, her eyes darting over the landscape, completely disoriented by the news. The ortho surgeon finally got the idea to find her wife. She walked towards home.

As Arizona sped down the sidewalk to the hospital she hardly had a grasp of what was going on. She heard the reporter and lost sight of everything. Somehow she threw on a coat and grabbed her things, literally running out the door.

When she saw Callie slowly walking towards her she only sped up, more than aware of the zombie-like state she was in. She kept right towards her wife until the brunette crashed into her arms, and right there on the street they collapsed into a tangle of arms and hands.

"Why?" Callie cried loudly into Arizona's shoulder. Her sobbing shook their bodies and echoed off the nearby buildings. It wasn't for sure but she knew. She knew her friend was gone. Mark was gone...

Arizona just held her. Her arms smothered Callie with all the love she could manage knowing the same things Callie knew. She rubbed big circles on her wife's back and kissed just by her ear again and again, over and over. She had her partially pulled into her lap and could just barely keep them upright.

"I don't know," Arizona whispered as an answer. "I don't know..."

They sat there on the ground for a never-ending 30 minutes. The time seemed to have stopped, yet it raged on in an unrealistic way, like the universe didn't care that the two women had lost something important. Probably because the universe doesn't care. It does not stop to take note of one person's loss. Still, that didn't change how crippling the loss was for that one person who _did_ care.

"Shhhh...it's okay," Arizona soothed, gently rocking as if she was putting baby Sofia to bed. "I...I have you. I'm right here. It's okay."

Eventually Callie regained her strength and began clawing at the back if Arizona's jacket, fisting the material as she clung to the love of her life. She pressed her face into the clothed shoulder and gulped in air. "I can't understand why," she admitted with a gurgled slur.

"There is no cause. There's only affect. We don't...we _can't_ choose who, or when, or how. We only choose what's next," the peds surgeon so wisely reminded her wife. "Come here."

Arizona pushed Callie back and cupped her face. Water pooled around her thumbs as she tried to wipe away the tears. She found it hard to hold the gaze of Callie's bloodshot eyes. Still, with more love than one can imagine, she leaned in and kissed Callie, softly and purposefully. "I'm here," she reiterated.

"Wh-what do I tell Sofia? Her dad...he d-died. He's dead," Callie stuttered in shock.

"Hey we don't know that. He could have survived. We don't know Calliope." Arizona tried to seem confident in what she was saying but her voice quivered with doubt. She knew they weren't getting their friend back. There was this unnerving sixth sense, and they both knew.

"But...if he did," Arizona started, not sure where her strength was coming from. "We will raise his little girl, _our_ little girl, to be the best woman he could have known. Okay?"

That's when it seemed the least real. Sitting curled into Arizona's arms, Callie couldn't fathom raising her daughter without the man she trusted so dearly. Mark had seen her through the worst marriage and the best marriage she could have asked for. He never judged and never failed to be the best man he could be. Maybe they had a rough patch. Maybe they butted heads on occasion. But they were all family, and it didn't even seem possible to lose a big part of that family in a blink of the eye.

Callie's eyes seemed far away as Arizona peered into her brown orbs. The blonde wished she could figure out what her wife was thinking. She was feeling the pain of the tragedy but knew Callie was taking it far worse. She glanced over the puffy red face she loved so much and tried not to cry too. The only thing she could think to do, other than fall apart, was kiss her.

At first Callie didn't react, still trying to slow her breathing, she just let their lips press together. Arizona laced her fingers through raven hair and pulled her in closer. Finally an electricity sparked and the Latina melted into her wife's strength. She closed her eyes and brought her own hands up to Arizona's collarbones.

When the peds surgeon felt her love coming back to her she pulled back, leaving their foreheads touching. "We will be okay. I'll take care of you Calliope. I love you," is all she had to say.

"Please don't ever leave. I said once I would stay for you, but Arizona, I can't live without you. I can do a lot. I've been through a lot..." Callie pleaded. Her breath started to fail with images of the car crash and premature dying Sofia flooding her mind. She shook the horrid memories from her mind. "I can't lose you though."

"When you promised to never leave, I knew then that I'd never leave either...Hey," Arizona said sharply, demanding Callie's waning attention. "I'm with you. You with me? Because I'm with you."

The tears kept rolling down tan cheeks, but a faint, yet sad smile turned up on Callie's face. "Of course I'm with you. Always..."

Arizona kissed her wife again. "Always..."

* * *

It was eerie watching Sofia play in the living room as her moms waited for the worst phone call. Police had told them they would be notified by that night if Mark was among the struggling survivors. The little girl had a toy car, all pink with dolls to match, that she was pushing into furniture, much to her amusement. She picked it up and drove it over the rocky couch terrain causing all the passengers to fly out. She yelped at their tragic demise.

"Mija, inside voice please." Callie usually didn't mind Sofia's playful noise but it was unsettling to hear her joyous laughter when at any moment her dad would be pronounced dead. She stood leaned against the counter top, toe tapping, hands white-knuckling the surface. Every time she remembered what she was waiting for her stomach dropped and it was an internal battle to avoid crying.

Arizona heard the distress in how she spoke to their daughter, so she came out of the bedroom and gathered Sofia up. She tickled her girl some before shushing her. Sofia tensed up in anticipation of more tickles. She placed a finger in front of her sealed lips to signify that she'd given up.

"How about we read? You wanna do that pretty girl?"

Sofia smiled brilliantly at her mama, ignorant of the shadow looming over her home. Knowing she'd have to break her baby's heart eventually, Arizona had to force a smile in return. "Let's go read _Charlotte's Web_, okay?"

The peds surgeon put the tiny girl back down and watched her sprint for her room to get ready. When she heard Rillo welcome her into her bedroom, Arizona walked over to Callie. Slowly she moved between her wife and the phone she was staring holes through.

Laying her hands on Callie's waist she sighed sorrowfully. "You interested in pigs and spiders at all? We'd love to have your company," Arizona said of her and Sofia.

Something like a feeble grin was given in reply. It did very little to mask the gloom in the brown eyes above. "Maybe in a bit. I can't miss this call. If I miss it they'll say it on the voicemail and it will be recorded and what if I don't delete it right? I'll hear it later, again and again. I can't," Callie gasped. Her words were rambling on.

"Alright," Arizona conceded. She didn't want to push her wife at a time like this. She rubbed her arm soothingly and left after a chaste kiss.

Only a few minutes later the phone rang. Milliseconds after Callie jumped at the wireless receiver and answered breathlessly.

"I'm looking for a Cali-o-pee Torres?"

"Speaking." It barely squeaked out given how dry her throat became.

"I'm calling regarding Mark Sloan, victim of the Flight 287 crash, on Tuesday May 2016"

"Y-yes..." Her stomach dropped to the floor. _Here it was_.

"Mr. Sloan was of 20 living victims upon recovery. He survived 18 hours in Bakersfield St. Luke's intensive care before passing due to internal bleeding and severe head trauma. We're very sorry for your loss..." he kept talking but nothing else actually reached Callie. Arizona heard the phone crash to the ground from Sofia's room and rushed out to see what happened.

She first picked up the phone and had the mono-toned man start from the beginning. Then while she listened and answered his questions she kept her fingers interlocked with Callie's. When she hung up she asked for the millionth time, the same empty question, "you okay?"

Callie nodded blankly. It would never feel okay without Mark and in the moment it wasn't even remotely possible to grasp. The only thing keeping her going was the warm, loving hold Arizona had on her- physically and emotionally. She was going to cling to that and let their love pull her through.

"What did they say," Callie finally managed.

"They're going to bring him home to Seattle so we can have a service. And there will be police investigations, company investigations, and even legal investigation if need be. We should be kind of prepared for those things," Arizona explained calmly. She used her free hand to rub Callie's arm gently.

"So there may be a law suit?" Callie knit her brow in confusion and Arizona just shrugged not really knowing more than what she'd offered.

Just as Callie was about to ask something else the phone rang. It made both women jump and they both had this odd feeling that it was more bad news. Five rings later Callie threw her fears to the wind and answered.

"Addison?" A muffled, sniffling sound, barely makes it through the line, but Callie can faintly hear the remnants of her friend's voice.

"It's true? He's gone?" she asks despairingly.

Callie bites her lip to keep from revisiting all the debilitating emotions she's been experiencing. "Yeah. He's gone Addy..."

All that came through after that was crying. It hadn't really occurred to Callie but her and Addison had similar relationships with Mark and shared a lot of the same pain. The brunette could only imagine that the tears she heard sounded a lot like her own. She gave Addison ample time to let it out before she tried to console her, and even then it was a useless attempt at filling the void of a lost friend with words. No amount of 'sorry's or 'okay's could bring back their friend.

"Do you want to come see Sofia," Callie proposed quietly. Her mija had a way of reminding her of Mark without it hurting so much. In Sofia he wasn't gone.

"I'd love to!"

* * *

The night before Mark's funeral Cristina came by with a well-aged bottle of rum and some junk from Mark's locker at work. Meredith, Derek, Lexie, and Addison all came as well. The seven mourning adults all filled their glasses and tried to talk about happy times.

Derek started by reminiscing about the time him and Mark liked the same girl in high school and Mark let up so Derek had a chance. "I was a real geek in high school, but Mark never let that keep me out the game. He was a good friend."

Everyone nodded solemnly.

Mer remembered a time that her and Derek were both sick and Sofia was still a few months old. Mark was already babysitting Sof but no one else could watch Zola, and they didn't want her getting sick. He came and got his niece with Sofia strapped to his chest and determination in his eyes. For a week after he called himself dad extraordinaire.

"He was a great uncle to Zola," Meredith said.

"He was an _amazing_ father," Arizona added with a deep sincerity. She looked at her wife and their eyes locked for a moment where Callie couldn't believe how wonderful her wife was, the way she accepted Mark after all the problems.

"To Mark," Callie sang, glass raised and her eyes on the ceiling, water welling in them.

"To Mark," everyone else echoed.

"To one lovely man-whore," Addison tacked on with a sinister laugh.

"And an arrogant, skilled, surgeon," Crisitna continued.

"A good teacher," Lexie said to tail off the toast. Her voice cracked as she realized how much she'd learned from her brother-in-law's best friend, and her ex.

They all drank. Callie polished off her glass in one breath, the way she would've if her and Mark were throwing down at Joe's. Arizona walked over and pressed into her wife's side. She stole a quick kiss before she had to look away from those brown eyes drowned in sorrow. Callie hooked her arm around the blonde's waist and kept her close.

Amidst a heavy silence a tiny voice cut through the air and pulled everyone's attention to the little Latina standing just by the kitchen's edge. Sofia stood lazily in her pink PJs, rubbing her eyes and yawning. She teetered back and forth as her body struggled to support her consciousness. Callie smiled at her baby girl and went and picked her up. She was not the only one smiling at Sofia's late night appearance. Everyone was comforted by her resemblance to Mark, her breaths and words, and her mere existence. He lived on through her presence and happiness.

Callie propped the child on her hip and kissed her temple as it rested on her shoulder. Arizona kissed her next and rubbed her tiny back. "What's up pretty girl?"

"I can't sleep good," Sofia responded through another yawn.

"How about you sleep in our bed?" Callie rarely made this exception but felt like having Sofia close-by for the night. Arizona wasn't going to protest either. It was time they headed to bed anyway.

While the adults gathered their things and said their goodbyes, the two wives passed Sofia back and forth to deal out hugs and condolences. Cristina and Addison were the last to leave and Yang hovered in the doorway and said, "Take care of my god daughter," as she gestured towards the sleeping Sofia in Arizona's arms.

"Sure thing," Callie laughed lightly.

"Yeah...treat her like a princess. I know you do _but_...keep doing it," Addison insisted.

"She's spoiled rotten. Don't worry."

"Have you told her," Cristina asked tentatively. "If you don't want to be an irreversible source of traumatization I'll tell the child."

Callie frowned at the suggestion that her and Arizona would be traumatizing their baby girl, but she knew Cristina meant well.

"We think we'll tell her tomorrow so she can connect the dots better, and um...actually see him."

Cristina whispered, "good idea." Her eyes fell to the ground and she lost her jestful mood. "See you tomorrow Torres. Goodnight."

"Goodnight you all," Arizona whispered loudly from her place further inside the apartment. Callie threw up a wave to go along with it and shut the door behind them.

She turned around to see both Arizona and Sofia falling asleep as the blonde was seated in a bar stool with the baby clinging to her neck. Callie walked over and shook them lightly. Slowly Arizona rose without waking the little one and headed to bed. They all quickly found comfort in snuggling in the queen bed. Sofia's soft snores melodically filled the air so the silence wasn't so unbearable.

Spread in front of them were Mark's things that neither woman had any idea what to do with. There was an address book, mostly full of random jottings, pictures, clothes, his stethoscope, and his pager. Callie picked a shirt up and took in the well-pressed cuffs and the fancy buttons. Mark cared a great deal about his appearance.

Noticing that her wife was caught in her reverie Arizona picked up his stethoscope. She ran a thumb over the chest piece. "It's big, but maybe Sofia will want it when she does her internship," the blonde fancied.

Callie looked down at the her girl and smiled yet again. "Then she'd give it to her little sister...or brother," she dreamed out loud.

"We're still...the baby thing is still on?" Arizona continued to fiddle with the medical apparatus as she tried not to seem worried.

"Yeah…" Callie drawled slowly. "Arizona, I am in love with the idea of us having another baby. Blonde hair, blue eyes, authority issues and all," she teased.

Arizona cut her a look out the corner of her eye but laughed. "I just didn't know if...this changes things for us and I didn't want to assume we could handle a baby right now."

"Well last time I checked it takes 40 weeks for babies to cook all the way, and I would raise another baby with you tomorrow if that was our plan."

A bit of silence ensued before Callie grabbed Arizona's hand and continued with growing confidence. She ducked her head to catch those sparkling baby blues. "I miss him..." her voice cracked. "I will miss him tomorrow and the next day, and _every_ day. But I have an amazing wife, a beautiful baby girl, and hope. We will get through this together. So nothing has changed."

"But-"

"No Arizona. I love you. Everything about you. I can't wait to have more of you in my life. Okay?"

"I do really want another baby Calliope," Arizona said weakly.

"Yeah? I couldn't tell from the shirts." They both laughed at Callie's sarcasm.

"You think we'll send them both to med school one day?"

"I'd settle for lawyers," Callie shrugged.

"Ooh, what if she wanted to be a ballerina. Can you imagine Sof in dance class?"

Callie narrowed her eyes and tried to be open-minded, but failed. "Let's just let that one sit for a while."

"I think it'd be cute," Arizona sang as she smiled from the imagery. "But we support them no matter what?"

"Of course. You know, maybe Sofia wants to sing and the next one wants to dance. We'll love them all the same."

"Not that we don't want medical titans for children," Arizona joked in reference to Mark's regards of himself. Callie gave a smoky chuckle to that.

"That'd work too!"

They fell back into the silence that only Sofia's snores prevailed. While Arizona understandably became consumed by baby plans, Callie went over the next day's plans in her head.

_They'd arrive at a small church not too far from the hospital. Mark wasn't religious but he believed in something powerful. He died without mental function and his upper body mostly unharmed. In his suit and tie he looked like he was peacefully sleeping. The seats would be packed with the women he had loved, the women he had cared for, the men he had inspired, and the family he had created. Derek would lead the pallbearers as they brought him to the altar amongst the bed of flowers._

_One by one people would come and say their final goodbyes. No tears would be held back, nor would there be any lack of love in the building. Mrs. Shephard would come lay a hand on his shoulder and speak of him as one of her own sons. Derek and Meredith would walk by with Zola and try to cry softly enough for the baby to sleep. Endless lines of friends would think of him with loving memory._

_Callie would stand at the altar and read the eulogy she prepared. She'd speak of meeting a man who was not interested in love, but burying a man who knew love and shared it with others. She'd look to her wife to get through the speech as painful as it was._

_And when the seats cleared out and everyone left to travel to the cemetery, only Callie, Arizona, Sofia, and their SGMW friends would remain. Callie would kneel in front of her daughter and try to explain that her daddy was gone. She'd speak slowly and softly, wiping away her useless tears. Sofia would no doubt find it hard to understand. She would cry too. The two mothers would hold her hand as she walked over to her dad and saw him for the last time. She'd reach out her little hand and try to wake him._

"_No no munchkin," Arizona would whisper into her ear. "Daddy's not waking up this time. Say bye okay?"_

_They'd carry her away in a fit of frustrated confusion. She won't understand for years to come. They'd reach the burial site and a preacher would commit his body to the ground. His closest family members would drop roses down on top his casket before they began filling in his plot with the disturbed earth._

_And, after it all, they would come home. They'd mourn and cry and weep. But eventually they would start to heal a little more every day. The pain would fade until it was not so bad. They'd keep reminding Sofia that he wasn't coming to get her on the weekends and keep planning for her little sister or brother. They'd survive…always with loving memory; they'd carry on and be happy._

* * *

**This chapter was sad but I'm glad I finally finished Mark's death. Now onto life for the three of them independent of Mark. Happy reading!**


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